I feel like everyone forgets that there was an actual sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where the elevator gets trapped up in space and the family and Wonka witness a bunch of deadly aliens attack another shuttle and said aliens eat at least twenty people and one of the grandmothers is erased from existence and Wonka and Charlie have to scramble to save her and in the end, they’re all invited to the White House to meet the president.
I just…I feel like this should be talked about more…
The lines from My Uncle Oswald, where one character asks another how she managed to get a condom on a man:
“How did you manage to roll the old rubbery thing on him?” “There’s only one way when they get violent,” Yasmin said. “I grabbed hold of his snozzberry and hung onto it like grim death and gave it a twist or two to make him hold still.” “Ow.” “Very effective.” “I’ll bet it is.” “You can lead them around anywhere you want like that.”
Berry Orgy would go on to be furtively purchased and eaten by horny pimpled pre-teens across the world, playing a hand in the coming of age to many, truly to them what Playboy was to us. A sister flavor, Wonka’s Willy, wouldn’t be nearly as popular and ultimately led to the arrest and ignoble end to one of the greats of our time.