Key & Peele knocked it out of the park with this one. Feminist pirates singing a sea shanty about the women they’ve known in their travels. Just the song would be enough, but the costumes and production design… K&P have always been great about stuff like that, but this looks better than the last Jack Sparrow movie.
You can (and should) watch the whole thing here, but I went ahead and wrote out the lyrics.
I once met a lass so fine She was drunk on barley wine I’d been to sea for a month or three I knew I could make her mine When the lass was past consent So it was off with her we went And we threw her in bed And rested her head Then we left ‘cause that’s what gentlemen do.
A woman has a right to a drink or two Without worrying about what you will do We say yo ho, but we don’t say ho 'Cause ho is disrespectful, yo.
There once was a girl from Leeds Who I heard was good on her knees So I docked my ship for an overnight trip To take care of all of my needs She was fine as the tales did tell And my mast began to swell So I laid her down And raised her gown And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so.
Always take care of your lady fair Cause they deserve as much attention down there We say yo ho, but we don’t say ho 'Cause ho is disrespectful, yo.
I once had a woman so fair Whose womb contained my heir With a son by my side The seas we’d ride The child she would bear But my girl, she was no fool She was working her way through school So I did support When she chose to abort Because it’s her body and therefore her choice.
No, we don’t say booty, 'less we’re talking about gold We don’t look at chests, 'less it’s treasure holds With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip We’ll never say 'she’ when we’re talking 'bout a ship We don’t say bitch And we don’t say whore 'Cause that language leads to things like body dysmorphia.
There was a lady with a golden eye And the doctor said she would die So she emptied her purse to lift her curse And prayed to stay alive She awoke the very next day And in her grave she lay But the scariest part Of the story from the start Is I bet you assumed the doctor was a man.
Women are doctors, too And for a fraction of the dubloons We say yo ho, but we don’t say ho 'Cause ho is disrespectful, yo.
There was a slut with tits to here And an ass to– (singer is shot by pirate queen)
'Cause it’s yo ho But we don’t say ho 'Cause ho is disrespectful, yo!