Why-are-you-still-here

I'm sorry

for all the times I can’t think of a things to say
for when I talk too much about things you clearly don’t care about
for when I don’t put in the effort we both know I could
for when I make it worse
for responding too quickly
for singing too loudly
for laughing too obnoxiously
for letting myself get so fat
for being too clingy
for not understanding
for trying to understand
for bothering you when you’re busy
for over reacting
for being bad at everything
for messing everything up
for not being able to hold a conversation

I’m so infinitely sorry for being me

I never thought that I’d be the girl lying on the floor at 12:40am crying over you…

HECK.

Is it time for bird? I just want to stop staring at the godawful bridge, there are artifacts everywhere and mess but it’s been four nights straight picking at it and I just can’t, it’s burned into my retinas. (Thankfully, none of these things is visible in the screencap. Take my word for it.)

Eagle commencing this weekend. First, I’m giving myself a break. Only halfway through the battle, and I’m not getting any faster. -_-

There’s a moment so cold, so full of loneliness and burning fear.

When you lay in silence
And your chest feels like
Your heart was breaking
Over and over again
In there.
And all there is inside of you
Is desperation and fear.
No personality,
No sense of life,
No soul.
There’s just nothing.
You are nothing.
And then there’s this
Voice in your sick brain
That keeps whispering
And every word it says
Makes sense.
You are just not made
For this world.
You’re too sensitive,
Too fragile,
Too weak
For this fast and scary and harsh
Fucking world.

And you silently ask yourself
Why you’re still here.

And you find no answer.

—  And you know the answer // so cold
You wrote your name across my body with your lips.
—  This writing won’t come off.