Which was DIFFICULT

The Industry

Summary: Your high school sweetheart has a provocative career, of which you’re having a difficult time adjusting to. Pornstar AU- Bucky Barnes is an adult film star
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Characters: Female Reader, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson
Word Count: 2.3K
Warnings: Explicit subject matter and cursing

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“Cut!” The harsh yell of Justin Hammer, the middle-aged director of this hell, boomed through the spacious production studio. “James, great job as always. Tasha, we’re going to have to shoot that close up again.” He rises from his chair, crossing his arms. “You keep moving out of the light, and we need you to stay in it so we can get a clear shot of those famous tits of your’s.”

You stand alongside other crew members, watching the muscular back of the blue-eyed man flex as he moves from between the redhead’s legs his mouth had be working on seconds ago. Natasha’s glossy, bare body moves gracefully as she rests into a sitting position. Her eyes look frustrated as she blinks in motion with her soft pants. You watch as Natasha and Bucky share a quick exchange of a particular look, one that only could be shared between people who’ve been working in this industry for awhile. A look you could never understand.  

Hammer strides over to a set of screens, all replaying Bucky’s oral actions and Natasha’s moans on repeat. He stares at the two actors in their field for a handful of minutes before turning back towards the pair who are now standing side by side in satin navy robes. “Let’s take a twenty-minute break, I need to sort out this lighting problem.” He turns back to the screens, muttering instructions to the group of people around him. 

Your eyes peek at the monitors, lingering on the messy head of long, dark hair that rests between the long-legged redhead as his tongue swirls around the slick core of the woman. A sharp pain shoots from within your chest, your eyes glued to the daily horror of your boyfriend having sex with another woman. 

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anonymous asked:

i've noticed you apologize a lot for so many things, especially to mean people who send you angry asks about updating faster. you shouldn't do that -__- you guys are the ones giving us the privilege to read the translated chapters so we should be thanking you!! srsly, thank you so much and please try not to push yourselves too hard for us c:

But I feel so sorry for making you wait, I can’t help it xD
That’s just because I’m still a normal reader like you guys and I know how it is to wait for your favorite manga, or even just a manga you like, to update. 
Although I’m super patient when it comes to waiting for updates on manga I like, I want you to have updates asap xD
Which can be quite difficult because DAMN REAL LIFEEEE

And as long real life doesn’t let us scanlate in peace, I will probably keep apologizing hehe

Thank you so much dear Anon-san for this sweet message <3

-Nini

Breaking... Ch. 11

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

A/N: AHHHH THIS CHAPTER TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED I HOPE YOU LIKE IT EVERYONE!!!

Wordcount: 3214

Warnings: Cursing, questioable decisions, plot

Tags!: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @renae-writes @deltablue202 @literally-melonkitty @meunicorn @favouritefighting-frenchman @demi-godamit @gum-and-chips @sweaterkitty-fluff @pinkyiger7 @littlemissshortcakes @msageofenlightenment @unprofessional-inhumanbeing @fandom-panda-221 @hummusandchips @spoopy-piineapple @ashwolfcub @myself-and-the-madman @sweet-fate @superwholockbooknerd526 If anyone else wants to be tagged please just send me an ask!

Breaking Theories

The haze you had fallen into slowly lifted off of your fatigued body. Why is it so damn hot? You stretched out your body, which was surprisingly difficult due to the immense amount of blankets laying on top of you. You pushed them off of you and sat up, your body feeling stiff. What the hell happened? I don’t know how much more of this crap I can take. These outbursts keep getting worse and they hurt like hell… Why can’t the late 1700s have internet?! You pushed yourself off the bed and wobbled towards the door, your legs were still feeling a bit weak. Just as you were about to open the door you heard a voice somewhere close by. You quietly opened the door and peeked your head out to find the voice, or more accurately the voices. You looked towards the stairs and found Alex and Rachel talking to each other.

“I’m worried Alexander… I don’t know if I take care of her, I don’t even know what’s wrong!” Rachel exclaimed.

“I understand Rachel; I am worried about Titania as well. Since you refuse to allow me to stay until she awakes I can only trust you to help her. I believe in you, your strong, resourceful and have a good head on your shoulders, you’ll know exactly what to do when the time comes.” Alex tried to reassure her but she looked troubled. He sighed and continued. “I only saw your mother a few times while she was alive but I can easily say you are the spitting image of her, you even have her name. However, whenever I look at you I only see your father. You’re a fighter, I know you’ll persevere.” Alex smiled, Rachel smiled back.

“Thank you Mr. Hamilton.” She said hopefully Alex chuckled.

“You know you don’t have to call me Mr. Hamilton, Alexander works just fine. Just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean I am any less of your friend.” Rachel looked down for a moment, almost like she was debating something.

“Very well, Alexander you better hurry up. The coach will be here soon and we do not want to keep the children waiting.” Aw, I’m glad they’re on good terms again. Alex smiled down at her but the look on his face gave you the impression that he had more decide.

“Actually Rachel, there is something more I must tell you.” Just after he said that he leaned down and whispered into her ear. You could see his lips moving but you couldn’t hear what he was saying. When Alex straightened his posture Rachel’s eyes suddenly perked up.

“Wait, are you serious? That’s unbelievable…” What’s unbelievable damn it?!

“Your father was a very caring man; he would never leave you without giving you something useful. I believe you are old enough to have this responsibility. Now come, Betsy will want to say goodbye to you as well.” He turned and began to walk down the stairs, Rachel following close behind him. You quietly stepped out of the room and closed the door behind you. You walk toward the stairs and heard the bustling and excited voices of the family below. You slowly descended the stairs and saw everyone rushing about in the main room. Everyone except for Philip, he was sitting at the base of the stairs, you could only see him from the back but by the way his shoulders were slumped you could tell he was glum. Angie was wearing her baby pink under dress, white gloves and matching hat. She bounced around excitedly with AJ in his light brown vest and coat, you’d never seen him wear a hat until now, it looked too big on him. Jamie and Johnny were standing by Eliza, they were wearing similar outfits to AJ except Jamie’s was a dull red and Johnny’s was a baby blue. Eliza had on her greenish blue under dress with her hair pulled back into a loose braid. Angelica looked really similar to Angie, especially since their clothes were practically identical. Rachel was holding Willy, wrapped up in his little white bundle, she was the first one to notice you looking out at the scene.

“Y/N? Oh, praise you’re awake!” She looked like could finally breathe.  Everyone looked over at you with relief, Philip specifically jumped up from his spot and climbed up to you.

“Star! How are you? Are you well rested? Are you still cold? Do you need to eat? You have been asleep since yesterday! Oh my, you look pale! Do you need my jacket? Because I could-“ You grabbed his hand and shushed him.

“Sunshine I’m alright. You can slow down a bit. And to answer your questions; yes, no, not yet, and no I do not need your jacket.” I can’t believe I made him this worried…I’m so sorry Philly… You gave his hand a comforting squeeze, he sighed and clutched into his chest.

“Thank goodness… I couldn’t sleep a wink last night! When I saw you on the ground yesterday I was scared out of my wits! You were cold to the touch… my anxieties got the best of me that night…” It’s moments like these that I remember how much younger he is compared to me. Physically it’s only three years but emotionally it must be over two hundred and fifty! I need to stop getting him all worked up… You looked up at him sadly.

“I’m sorry Philly, I don’t know what got into me there.” You weren’t lying, nothing about this situation made any sense to you.

“That’s quite alright, I’m simply happy that you are in better health! I’m glad I got a chance to see you before we leave!” He smiled blissfully at you as he helped you down the rest of the steps to meet with the others. Eliza had her arms wrapped around you in an instant.

“I’m so glad that you are up and about dear! You gave us all quite a fright!” Next it was Angie, hugging you by the waist.

“TT! You’re back! You didn’t get to help me get dressed but that’s ok! I’m going to miss you but never fear! I shall be back by your side when the frost passes!” All the boys came rushing at you at once. AJ looked happy, Jamie looked worried and Johnny was almost in tears. You kneeled down and scooped all of them up in your arms. Poor Johnny, he looks scared to death. You pulled away and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Hey now Johnny! No need to cry over me, I’m just fine, see?” He looked and you and sheepishly nodded his head. Alexander walked into the room after turning out of the hall, carrying a satchel that he didn’t have before.

“Titania? You’re awake!” He ran over to you gave you a comforting hug. You patted him on the back to assure him of your safety.

“Alex, I’m ok, really.” You heard loud footsteps from outside and the door busting open. That seems to be a running theme in this house… It was Hercules and Cato.

“Alright everyone, the coach is ready! Everything is already packed in!” He looked over and noticed you. “Y/N? It’s good that you’re up, I heard about what happened. I’m glad to see that you’re in higher spirits!” He exclaimed. You gave him a warm smile. He’s a precious teddy bear oh geez! Rachel looked over at Cato and trotted over to Eliza, handing Willy over to her. She made her way over to you and leaned in close to your ear.

“I can’t let anyone get suspicious. When everyone is saying their goodbyes tell Cato, yes, he’ll know what it means.” She whispered and then walked past you toward the children. Rachel gave each of them a hug but it lasted a little bit longer than you expected. She’s pretty affectionate today, huh? She looked somewhat sad as she walked over to Eliza, hugging her side and saying something in her ear and then doing the same for Alexander. She really isn’t acting like herself… She didn’t even look at Cato as she made her way over the stairs. Something really isn’t right here… All the younger kids skipped over to you, you gave each of them a gentle pat on the head and told them you’d see them very soon. As they all ran out of the room, throwing their cloaks and coats on, Eliza used her free arm to give you a hug.

“Take care of the house, dear. We shall be back before you know it!” Alex helped her with her own cloak and she walked out to the carriage.

“Be careful while we’re away, alright Titania?” Alex instructed.

“Already got it covered… Dadexander!” He shook his head at your joke.

“Honestly, your word play is simply ridiculous!” He’s holding in his smile; I see you Alex! He pulled on his extra coat and followed Eliza outside, Philip was the only one left. He stepped over to you but something about his movement told you that he wasn’t too happy. Maybe it was the unusual way his shoulders were slumped, maybe it was the exaggerated steps he was taking, maybe it was how he held his arms behind his back, or maybe it was just because you knew Philip.

“I could still convince them to bring you with us, you’d like it upstate! You could meet my grandfather too, I’m sure father would be alright with letting you come-“ You shushed him, pulled his right arm from behind his back and held his hand.

“No Philly, you know I can’t go with you. It’ll only be for a couple of months, I’ll be back by your side in no time! Besides, Rachel would be lonely without me here to keep her company.” He intertwined your fingers and sighed.

“I know… I’m just worried about you is all!”

“You don’t have to worry about me. If anything I should be worried! What are you going to do without me there to make sure you don’t get into trouble?” You joked, he didn’t seem to find it funny.

“I have no idea…” You wrapped your right arm around his back, hoping that your embrace will reassure him.

“It’ll be okay; you can always write to me if that makes you feel better? After all, you do have a way with words.” You pulled away and saw a faint smile on his spotted cheeks. That’s more like it… Smiles fit you better than anything else. He let go of your hand and held his arm out to you.

“If that’s the case than I would like to at least have you escort me out, will you do me the honors?” He asked with a cheeky grin. And we’re back! You linked arms and began to walk towards the door. Everyone was outside, there were two carriages and the kids were trying to figure out who they were riding with. You saw Cato helping Eliza into the carriage, you parted from Philip.

“I’ll be right back; I have to check the luggage.” He nodded as you made your way over to Cato; once you stood by his side you whispered to him.

“Rachel wanted me to let you know that she says yes.” You pulled back and saw him literally holding in his joy. He looked like a kid on Christmas, like stupidly happy, it was great. He nodded excitedly.

“Thank you so much for telling me! This is fantastic!” He hurriedly ran over to Hercules, who was helping the Angelicas into the second carriage. Phillip made his way over to you, he must have decided to ride with his parents. You were going to say something but you were surprised when Philip grabbed both of your shoulders and pressed his lips to your forehead, holding you there like that for a moment. You didn’t move, for that matter you couldn’t, your heart skipped a beat. He moved his head away and looked down at you.

“I shall write to you every day and think of you every night when I look up to the shimmering sky. Wait for me until spring approaches, my shining star.” He hopped into the carriage and closed the door behind him as you took a step back. The coachmen had the horses pull the multicolored carriages out onto the empty roads.

“I’ll see you soon sunshine…” You spoke to yourself as the sounds of wheels and hooves got softer, the colors getting smaller and smaller. You didn’t notice how nippy the air was due to how warm your cheeks and heart felt. You heard Rachel call to you from the door.

“Y/N! What are you doing? Do you wish to fall ill?” You snapped back to reality and hurried back into the house, Rachel closing the door behind you, she looked nervous.

“So? What did he say? Was he happy? Was he upset? Did I wait too long?”

“Whoa, calm down Ray, he was extremely happy! Now you have to tell me what he was so excited about!” She seemed to shy away slightly. Okay Rachel is never shy, what’s going on? She sighed.

“I’ll tell you if you promise not to freak out and get mad at me.”

“Okay, I promise. I won’t freak out and I will never be at you. Now spill it, sister.” She took a deep breath blurted it all out at once.

“Cato and are going to run away together, we leave at the end of December!” What? WHAT?! She nodded her head happily as she read your surprised expression.

“S-Seriously? Rachel! That’s wonderful! Congratulations!” You wrapped your arms around her and squeezed her tightly. She hugged back and both you jumped up and down joyously. You separated and there were tears of joy rolling out of her green eyes.

“Thank you so much for being so supportive! I really need that tight now!” She sniffled.

“Of course I’m supportive! You’re my friend and you’re in love! Wait…why do you need support? Is something wrong?”

“It’s complicated… I’m going to him, I’ll walk if I have to, the problem is the cold. I’d probably die trying to get there… Oh no, I haven’t thought about this thoroughly!” She exclaimed. Idea! I have an idea! I love my brain!

“I’ll help you! There’s still a few horses in the stable, we can ride there together! I’ll even help you pack and everything!” You smiled at her, she looked relieved. The two of you agreed to the plan, a blissful feeling washing over you.

             For the rest of that December, the two of you talked. Talked about everything she had to do. As the frost grew outside the plans started to fall through. Rachel wrote a letter to each of the family members. It took her days to figure out what to say to them, it wasn’t until you reassured that you could always write to them and most likely see them some time in the future that she was able to relax long enough to write. She gave you one of her old cloaks, the snow outside was quickly piling up. On the morning Rachel pulled you aside from your last minute preparations.

“There’s one last thing we need to get, follow me.” She said as you both fastened your cloaks. She led you down to Alex’s study and let herself in.

“Rachel? What are we doing?” You asked. She walked over to Alex’s desk and started opening drawers.

“Alexander told me that my father left me something that will help.” She reached into the back of the bottom drawer and pulled out a larger fabric sack. It looked heavy and you could see several bumps hitting the fabric.

“Alexander said that this has roughly $70 in it. My father left it with him in the intent to give it to me when I’m old enough. It won’t last forever… but it’ll be enough to get us started at least.” She set the bag inside her pack that she was bringing with her. She looked on at the house as the two of you walked through the main room. She knew it may be a while before she saw this place again, it was especially hard since the people living within were all she really knew. But she put on a brave face and followed you outside to the stables.

             You picked the horse Rachel told you was most suited for the job and the two of you climbed on together. And so the two of you set out, the cold was harsh but luckily the snow was pretty calm. It took you both the entire day to reach the edge of the estate, the sun had already fallen when you found Cato waiting by the gates in a heavy coat, carrying several packs. Rachel jumped off the horse and ran toward him happily, clutching onto him.

“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this! Are sure we can trust your friend to get us to the other side of the state safely?” She asked, he nodded with confidence.

“Do not fear my love, we’ll be setting up our home together by next week at the latest!” You got off the horse and waited for them to settle. Rachel looked over at you with sad eyes, she ran over to you and gave you a final hug.

“Thank you Y/N. I’ll write to you as soon as I can! We’ll see each other before you know it!” She smiled.

“I don’t doubt that Rachel.” You grinned back. She thought for a moment.

“Before I go, let me give you one last piece of advice… Always run with the thing you love, never from it, or else you’ll lose sight of it.” She let go of you and went back to Cato and took his hand. “Goodbye, Y/N. I’ll miss you…” Her smile was sad but her eyes were hopeful. And so they went off together, disappearing into the night. You climbed back onto the horse and looked back toward the direction they went.

“I’ll miss you too Rachel…” You ushered the horse to move forward, taking the route back to the estate. But as you drew closer to downtown the wind picked up, the snow began to flurry around you. You felt the cold hit your cheeks like daggers as the night swirled around you. You tried to keep your fears down but your horse was starting to get agitated. She started to speed up, moving about in different directions, you couldn’t control her.

“Hey girl! Slow down now!” You tried to calm her but neither of you could see properly with the thick snow flying past you. “Slow down! St-“ She was going too fast and galloped against the ground too hard, you were thrown off, a scream escaping your frozen lips. You saw the earth below approaching you fast, the snow piling up but you recognized grey pieces poke out from the white mass. You hit the ground powerfully and you could pick out the sharp pain that hit the left side of your head as it pulled you away.

anonymous asked:

Do you chafe when you run?? I have big thighs and it makes me feel like less of a runner for some reason. And it also makes me never want to wear shorts to run which will be difficult now that it's starting to warm up outside. I guess I just want to know if you have any advice?? Sorry if you've already answered this

I think I’ve answered something similar but I can’t find the question! I don’t chafe in that area because of my running form- my toes point outward and my legs don’t really touch a whole lot because of that. People used to call me penguin in high school. Super embarrassing lmao. I actually have (well IMO) really big thighs especially compared to a lot of distance runners. I promise you are NOT less of a runner for it. You aren’t. There are plenty of crazy talented and fast runners who have muscular, powerful thighs that help them to run fast!! Being quick comes in all shapes and sizes!! You should absolutely not be scared to wear shorts- I’ve heard that invested in a longer-ish pair of tight-fitting spandex shorts can help with the chafing. Some running shorts even come with these built-in! I have a pair like that from target I believe. Also, there is this magical stuff called Body Glide which I really recommend, it’s like deodorant but without the smell and it helps with chafing! I have used it before because I get very painful chafing towards the back of my armpits (it gets so raw it’s seriously the worst!)

Love your wonderful leggies which carry you to run many wonderful miles! I know that they are strong, powerful, and beautiful!!  <3

2

The Winter Soldier wears a mask for most of the film, which made it difficult for me to convey emotions. But it also kind of helped in a way. I felt when I was looking at myself in the mirror that I couldn’t recognize myself at all. I had to pay more attention to the way I behaved, the way I moved and the physicality of it all. This character is so complex and tragic in a way and there are so many sides to him that hopefully we will see in the future.

Yell at one of my employees? Enjoy your over-priced meal.

I work at a fast-food restaurant in a small town. More specifically, I’m the manager of that store (I don’t own it, but I run it).

As is common for most small towns, we often get customers that come through our drive-thru in those stupid jacked-up diesel pickup trucks, and those things are LOUD, especially when played through a headset directly into your ear.
Not only do those trucks sound like a school bus that hasn’t had a muffler in 12 years, but they make it reeeaaaally difficult to hear the driver through your headset, especially when the driver thinks you can hear their order that’s spoken at normal conversational volume.

One night, one of those douchenozzles rolls into the drive-thru and leaves the engine running, which makes it incredibly difficult for the girl taking his order to hear him (sometimes people will cut the engine as they know this is the case). After several requests to repeat himself to understand his mumbling, the customer gets angry and yells at her, calling her a “deaf-ass b*tch” and saying “How hard is it to f*ckin’ listen.” Needless to say that made me very angry.
Well wonderful Mr. Fecalweiner the store manager also had a headset, so I decided to chime in and tell my employee that I’d deal with it.

I eventually figured out what he wanted, but instead of ringing it up as the Meal with his fries and drink upsized to large sizes, I rang every item up separately. When it’s a “meal,” the system automatically includes a slight discount in the total; when everything is rung up separately, it can almost come out to be $3.00 more expensive than if it’d been made a meal. He never noticed the sizeable change in the price, and I was even able to sell him a couple pies for being “understanding” about the situation. The order taker girl couldn’t stop laughing in the break room after that.

Basically, don’t be an a*shole to people in the drive-thru because they can’t hear you over your stupid truck, or you’ll end up paying almost twice as much as you should for the same order.

Fallout universe Health and Food-related headcanons

Because I’m a holistic health and homesteading nut… :’)

  • Sea salt is a major export of coastal states.
  • Another export of coastal states is whale blubber, which is extremely rare and difficult to obtain. It is a high-end source of carbs (see studies on Inuit diets if you want more about that) and would be a delicacy within upper-class settlements.
  • Salt is one of the only existing seasonings (and is used heavily in meat preservation, making cold cuts and little dried fish quite common!), any internationally sourced spices would have long since been used up, never to be replenished.
  • Because of this, Peppercorns are extremely rare, and a very high priced commodity prized more-so as conversation pieces than culinary tools.
  • Salt is also used in hair products. Mixed with warm water and vodka/rum it makes a great volumizer!
  • Tea brewed with hubflower has similar effects to caffeine.
  • Hubflower and mentats make one hell of an energy drink, like ginkgo tea on crack lol
  • We can assume that bees still exist post-war, because of the remaining flora in the Wastes. Honey is the major sweetener, although it is sold at a premium because beekeeping would be a very dangerous career. (Raiding parties would hit beekeeping farms hard)
  • If you see someone without a pocket-full of pemmican on them they’re probably dead tbh
  • Ketosis is common but not completely necessary. Farms and settlements often have razorgrain, maize/corn, tatos and various tubers, which are the major carbohydrate sources.
  • Razorgrain and corn flour/meal is a winter staple. Most people consist off of breads and snow-buried caches filled with thin meats in areas where the ground becomes inhospitable with the cold months.
  • Despite conflicting dialogue concerning the existence of fish, FISH DEFINITELY STILL EXIST
  • Pruno, moonshine, mead and beer are extremely common, as the means to craft them are widely available.
  • Common household nutrient supplements would include: cured liver, bone broth, and gelatin. 
  • Daily oral care consists of alcohol-based mouthwash (straight vodka, preferably), and brushing with tallow soap.
  • Tallow-based soap is readily available and decent hygiene really isn’t a huge issue with anyone who isn’t a piss-poor drifter.
  • ok but can you imagine cornbread with farm sourced honey and mirelurk eggs because i’m hungry as hell rn
  • In controlled environments with plenty of rest and medical supervision, stimpaks can help a person make a miraculous recovery from injury, and erase scarring. However, if used in a high-tension situation coupled with little rest and lack of consistent nutrition, scarring and/or perminant damage will occur.
  • The real-world equivalents of (some of the) Fallout drugs are:
    Med-X: Morphine
    Psycho: PCP
    Mentats: Methylphenidate
    Jet: Methamphetamine
    Calmex: Ketamine
    Day Tripper: Oxycodone
  • People raised in Vaults or who have defected from environments like the Institute have high mortality rates. If their lack of hardcore survival knowledge doesn’t kill them first, the shock of radiation poisoning will.
  • Obesity is next to impossible and a luxury only EXTREMELY wealthy people can afford. As excess weight gain is a product of energy storage (specifically carbs and sugars), the high protein/fat and low carb/sugar diet of the typical Wastelander would leave them in a state of constant energy absorption, coupled with the fact that not everyone is lucky enough to get even one meal a day.

AND THERE WILL BE MORE, THERE’S ALWAYS MORE

So here’s a random realisation. 

I consume a lot of content, like A LOT, (tv, movies, books, music, etc you name it) and more often than not, particularly with the visual form of content, I find myself consuming content passively. What I mean is that I just sit there and watch things without really processing them (most of the time after a really tiring day, it’s the kind of content I prefer, because I don’t really have to think too much about it). But here’s the great thing about this little Norwegian tv show, it doesn’t allow us to do that. Skam feels like what the future of media content should be. Active audience engagement. The fact that you have to seek out the website, wait for updates, integrate that with other social media updates. It makes you less likely to consume the show without thought. Here’s Julie saying, this show isn’t going to play by the rules, we’re not gonna spoon feed you, figure it out yourself. 

And because your participation in it is self-initiated, you’re more likely to start actively assessing what you watch, and start thinking about implications and making predictions. And substantiating/backing up those assertions you make and this is where metas and analyses comes in. what I love so much about this show is the sheer amount of discussion that goes on in the fandom as the seasons progress and everyone’s active (im using this word a lot am i?) involvement in these discussions. Not only does it cultivate a mindset of critical analysis, but also you learn to be more engaged with the characters and their development which in turn teaches us empathy. 

Ok, but like, don’t a lot of shows have fandoms that discuss things and have fans who relate to characters? Well, yes, I’m not saying they don’t. But another thing that sets skam apart from most shows is the audience engagement is much more of a two way street than most tv shows (which incidentally makes the audience interest more sustained in the show). a lot of the times, most tv/movies get produced first and then the audience gets the finished product and the feedback from the audience is delayed by 4 to 5 episodes. If its something the audience isn’t receptive of, shows probably only start pivoting in the next season.  And some show creators don’t really care about the audience feedback beyond the numbers and ratings. and on some shows, all they care about are the review critics. and tv networks and movie producers generally don’t care about fans so long as the content makes money. There have been fandoms where the creators have actively worked against what the general fandom wants, which creates a negative dichotomy where the fandom still engages in the media that doesn’t want to cater to them. 

But so far, skam is, fortunately, different in that fan discussions are welcomed and even addressed (re: all those fourth wall breaking). And the response from the creators is often almost instantaneous, fluid and flexible. It creates a lively environment that fosters creativity for both fan and content creator (albeit challenging for the show runners). And because the content creators listen, viewers are more likely to become much more discerning, critical thinking people who form opinions on their own and want to actively (there’s that word again) throw these ideas out there to the creators and have some sort of autonomy over the content that they’re consuming rather than just sitting staring at the screen being fed ideas passively. Basically, what im saying is, watching skam helps me become smarter lmao.

just Soft bucky things to make u wanna actually pass out 10x

  • bucky gettin his hair brushed which he finds is actually relaxing once he gets past the initial :/// of having things near his head, so sometimes he’ll just sit on the floor in front of whoever’s closest and they’ll brush his hair and it’s veyry Nice™
  • falling asleep curled up on the couch which should be Difficult because bucky is not smol but he fits so he just burrows under the blanket that’s usually left on the back of the sofa and can be asleep in minutes. clint once sat on him thinking that bucky was just a huge pile of blankets. that did not go well. clint was apologizing for weeks even though he was the one with the dislocated shoulder. no one sits on the couch anymore when bucky’s nowhere to be found. they just assume he’s curled up there. 
  • flowers. so many flowers. bucky apparently loves them so when steve buys them a house (bc of course he does lol) he makes sure there’s enough space in the backyard for a garden. ((maybe against his better judgment he doesn’t tell mention that bucky used to love flowers Before everything happened. because he doesn’t want bucky to subconsciously change his feelings/reactions based on What Used to Be. still, he secretly marvels about the fact that after all this time, bucky still lights up at the sight of pretty roses. it’s precious))
  • bucky has a thing for mittens. he’s not even sure why but once, at the nursing home (where he visits sometimes; they get a real kick out of him there for some reason), one of the elderly lady’s knitted him a pair to keep his metal hand warm after he touched her accidentally one day and made her cold. he’d felt bad about it for so long until she gave him a pair of mittens for his birthday as a surprise and told him to stop pouting and looking at her like he stepped on her dog. he barely takes them off now and when he does, they sit right next to the hat the old lady taught him to knit for himself. it’s their thing and he loves it.

soft bucky is the only good thing left on this dying earth thank u this has been a PSA

sehnsucht
—  (noun) A German untranslatable wordsehnsucht  is described an intense longing and yearning for something far away and vague, something which is difficult to describe. Similar to the Portuguese word saudadeit describes all facets of life that one finds unfinished or imperfect. This longing is a form of coping with life’s unattainable desires. The profound emotions are usually both positive and negative and are ambiguous. 
Patater Week - Day 3

Feb. 8 - Fake Dating/Secret (?) Relationship - (2K)

“I don’t care, it’s not weird, I’m going to sit on you,” Jeff says, shifting all 200 pounds of his body onto Kent’s lap.

“I wish you wouldn’t,” Kent tells him.

“That’s pretty gay,” an Aces teammate says from where he is sitting on the ground, demolishing his bowl of popcorn that he stole from Kent’s cabinets, even though Kent had specifically told him to not touch his cabinets. “And I have a boyfriend.”

“Shut up, I’m so scared, I’m so fucking scared,” Jeff says, burying his face in Kent’s neck. “Did they make it out of the hallway?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you watch the movie?” Kent says through his teeth as he shoves Jeff off to the side, which is rather difficult considering that Jeff is insistent that he turn into a human-sized suction cup for the occasion. “Seriously, could you let go? I can’t breathe.”

“Why did you pick a scary movie if you’re afraid of them, Jeff?” a rookie asks. He’s lounging on the carpet, his head using Patrick’s lap as a pillow as he scrolls down his phone.

“I’m not scared,” Jeff says, then curses as the woman in the TV screen turns a corner in her hallway and the music grows more ominous. “This is for a team bonding exercise for the rookies.”

“Which you hosted. At my place,” Kent says flatly. “Without consulting me.”

“You’re the captain,” Jeff says. “It should be at your place.”

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The move from hell

I’m so sorry, there won’t be a post today. I’m trying like hell for Monday, but I am currently homeless, which makes matters difficult.

Some of y'all may have caught that I’m moving. It’s been worse than my most nightmarish projections. I’ve been left to dismantle the overwhelming majority of a 12-year-old community house by myself. 17 rooms of random crap left by random people. It’s very nearly over, but I have recurrent nightmares of finding a second back yard filled with old Burning Man art projects.

I’ll be getting on the entry as soon as humanly possible.

On the upside: I’m really, really close to finalizing details on a book two. I also met with some rad Hollywood people and am in the (very early) stages of discussing an RP TV (or web) series. It’s Hollywood, so nothing happens til it happens, but if I told you the names of who I’ve been talking to, you’d probably get pretty excited. :)

All of which is to say, there may not be much motion visible right now, but things are moving.

(speaking of which, I need to get back to packing. thank you for your patience.)

I get the impression that this girl is Interested in me, but her flirting has mostly been in the form of demanding my time and attention for emotional support, and then seeking cuddles. Somehow it doesn’t feel personal at all, which makes it difficult to address or discourage. I don’t actually mind being a shoulder to cry on or even acting as therapist, but I am very uncomfortable with that as a form of flirtation, especially given her lack of curiosity about me.

saturn in the signs

aries - saturn in aries is a very challenging placement - saturn is exalted in libra and so falls in aries, which can be difficult when aries is such a force to be reckoned with. you may struggle to chase your ambitions for worry or self-esteem issues, or you could blindly leap after everything you desire without realising the responsibilities of your dreams. you can falter when trying to assert yourself, and you might feel older than your age, unable to let go and just live without repercussions. when you learn to have confidence in yourself and your abilities, the results of your projects will reflect your inner balance. 

taurus - in taurus, saturn’s lessons revolve around security. saturn in taurus really struggles to feel comfortable, stable and safe, and they often cling onto things to find a sense of security in life. but material possessions can’t fulfil you ultimately, and that’s a lesson that saturn in taurus needs to learn. they need to go a little deeper and learn to feel secure in themselves before they can find it in the world. hard work and a little bit of luxury will help them to find what they need, but they have to be open to receive it. they can struggle to express their romantic and creative side too, so it’s important to embrace the parts of themselves that they so often leave behind. 

gemini - saturn in gemini can really struggle in their early years, and this is because gemini embodies so much of the childhood experience - education, curiosity, thinking and learning, siblings and the hometown. they are prone to falling into negative thought patterns, and may struggle with nervousness and anxiety too. this placement often indicates shyness, especially in early life, but it does ease up as you age so don’t fret. saturn in gemini can really take their time learning a subject, but once they fully understand, they never forget and seem to master the subject effortlessly. they are logical, make great writers and teachers, and often doubt their abilities. they often have a head for business too, but it’s imperative that they learn to communicate clearly and without inner chaos for their many talents to manifest. i would suggest writing out your feelings if you’re struggling with this placement, because it’s easy to feel alone in the world with it and nobody should feel that way.

cancer - saturn in cancer controls their emotions. they often lock them away and may struggle to understand and express their own levels of empathy and emotion. it’s a life lesson for these people to learn to come out of their shell and live for themselves, as they can often suppress their passions and needs for the sake of their family’s. saturn in cancer often clings to others, craving the warmth and security they needed as a child; however, they hate to be dependant or needy, and so there’s this inner push-pull that can easily spiral into self hatred if allowed. it’s important that they look at themselves and their past, come to terms with it and try to learn from it too. if you have saturn in cancer, try to create a soothing home that puts warmth in your heart, as the home environment of these people is very important to them and can help them feel more secure. it’s also worth trying to build up your confidence, as you will feel much better if you have your own back.

leo - saturn in leo often manifests as a strong-willed, deeply ambitious person, who can come across as cold and stubborn, but really just needs recognition for what they do. they want people to admire them, and this need to be recognised often comes from childhood somewhere. ego plays a bit part in the life of leo in saturn, and they can struggle to connect with their true selves - they usually have tons of creative talent but no knowledge of how to unlock it, and so are prone to frustration. these people tend to feel they are inferior to others, and they can sabotage themselves by putting themselves down. they can be jealous too, and they try to protect their delicate selves from others by being cold and aloof. the lessons that saturn in leo need to learn revolve around humility, creativity and love; love for others, sure, but mostly for themselves, because it’s this cold centre that brings all the trouble. you must balance the power you have inside, and if you can, you’ll find true joy in life at last.

virgo - this is a great placement for saturn if you can make the most of it; unfortunately it’s not so great if you can’t. at its worst, saturn in virgo brings compulsive behaviours, control issues, harsh self-criticism and niggling health concerns. however, these modest people are hardworking, able to see the little details that make something perfect, cautious and excellent planners. they just need a little push in the right direction, a self-esteem boost, and to learn to let go. hypochondria can develop in times of stress, as well as anxiety issues in general, but if they can learn to manage their stresses and become more relaxed in day-to-day life, these problems will ease up considerably. control can seem to keep them sane, but in all honesty you’ll never control everything, and if you can’t handle losing it, you’ll never be able to keep it. turn that brilliant mind inwards and look at what’s truly good for you; you’ll know.

libra - saturn is exalted in libra, and so it’s quite a nice placement really; these people are fair and pleasant, and quite charming. this can seem a very natural and even easy placement for saturn, but of course it isn’t without its lessons; saturn in libra often experiences restriction when it comes to relationships. they can struggle to relate to others on a personal level, and may find it very hard to be in a relationship. the relationships they do enter may feel forced or loveless, but they themselves don’t know how to mend these holes. the key lies within, and reflection will definitely help. once you are aware of the patterns you form throughout your life, you can work on changing the ones that aren’t helpful for you, and you can experience more open, romantic and pleasant relationships. it’s important to stabilise yourself and take responsibility for the relationships you aren’t happy with, for this placement to flourish.

scorpio - now this is one of the more turbulent positions for saturn; scorpio is so raw, so emotional and sometimes chaotic, while saturn seeks the tangible, control, results. however, i actually this has the potential to be a really good placement; these people are intuitive, determined and mentally very strong. they are calculating and sometimes quite controlling, in the murky manner of scorpio. the main problem with this placement is that saturn restricts the emotional goldmine that is scorpio. this can lead to all manner of emotional issues, repressed memories, and even holding onto negative energies around them. they can struggle to see their true intentions and often fear rejection and abandonment deeply. they can struggle to open themselves up to another person or be intimate. they must learn to open their eyes and look at themselves honestly, with the same sharpness they look at others, and then focus all that immense energy on healing from whatever is dragging them down. it’s hard and painful, but we all know the strength of this placement.

sagittarius - saturn in sagittarius can seem like a weird match, right? but actually, it fits quite well. this placement brings strong ethics and morals, a real lust for learning, skepticism and strong intuition. however, these people may feel dissatisfied with their education, feeling it did them no good and that they need to teach themselves. they can swing from skeptical to cynical in the blink of an eye, or from intuitive to blindly guessing at life. this placement is surprisingly prone to bouts of depression, as it’s hard to need your freedom but be scared of the consequences of it. they can struggle to open up and trust others, and can sometimes rebel just for the sake of rebelling, rather than because they believe it’s right. the lessons of this placement focus on balancing ethical codes with human needs and wants, structuring your learning so you can make the most of it, and learning to find the wonder in the world. this placement is great for teachers and often leads to your becoming a leader in your chosen field, but you must heal from your issues first.

capricorn - saturn is at home in capricorn, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its own set of challenges like any other saturn placement. issues of control and perfectionism can make achievements difficult, although this is actually a very hard working placement that prides itself on its achievements and the completion of goals. saturn in capricorn often sees things in black and white, feeling that emotions are all awful things that distract from progress, and anything less than perfection is failure. but awareness is a huge part of making strides, and as much as they crave recognition, their inner self needs recognition by the outer self in order to truly flourish. time heals all wounds, and keeping this in mind will help you to heal your own. 

aquarius - saturn in aquarius is a natural psychiatrist, a scientist at heart. they can apply themselves fully to anything that peaks their interest, and their hearts are solid gold. but they can struggle to fit in amongst their peers, and their way of living can be unconventional and possibly even distressing to them. it’s important that they learn to balance their own lifestyles with their dreams and morals. these people are wonderful friends, and have fair hearts. as the traditional ruler of aquarius, saturn is surprisingly comfortable here, and if you can be honest with yourself and apply your beautiful minds and hearts to the world around you, i think this is actually a wonderful placement for saturn.

pisces - saturn in pisces can be a very tough placement, as saturn deals with structure and pisces dissolves everything it touches. but this is a sensitive and extremely creative placement for saturn, and if you listen to its lessons, you are likely to become a wise and empathic person, without feeling consumed by negativity. it’s very easy to fall into depression with this placement, because you may feel responsible for others, but if you learn to put your needs first and to step back when you need to, you’ll find this eases up considerably. inner reflection and connecting the mind and body to the soul, will help you on your journey. it’s important to learn to say no and to let out your feelings through some creative pastime. 

Who is your hero?
Michelle Obama, because she has such an optimistic outlook and she was able to move into the White House with kids and do such a beautiful, graceful job. That had to be really hard. After spending two weeks with my family for the holidays, which was long and emotionally difficult, I know that’s superhard. I think she’s wisdom personified.
—  Stevie Nicks - Rolling Stone, March, 2017.