If you could press a button that would give you a great deal of money, but it would cause someone you don’t know in a distant part of the world to die, then you would have a good model for how our current economy works.
—  Cecil Palmer, Welcome to Night Vale episode 105: “What Happened at the Smithwick House”
  • Me: ok ok i'm not going to become obsessed with any more things that could ruin my life
  • Me, being introduced to three podcasts, seven musicals, four TV shows, nine movies, two bands and twelve books: well shit
villains night vale has had
  • season 1: a tiny city under a bowling alley
  • season 2: capitalism
  • season 3: several eldritch-horror monsters in an anti-government conspiracy alliance (addendum: also physical distance as a thing that exists and separates people)
  • season 4: actual satan
  • season 5: denial
here’s what we know.

our cecil:

  • doesn’t have a brother
  • has evidence of a brother in his home
  • has a sister
  • is openly gay
  • lives in night vale, in which lgbt people are completely accepted

cecil from cal’s timeline:

  • grew up in a homophobic environment 
  •  has a brother (cal)
  • abby does not exist
  • janice does not exist

cecil from the cassette timeline:

  • dies at fifteen
  • at the age of fifteen, has a brother
  • this brother has “hollow eyes”
  • this brother believes radio voices should be high
  • would recreationally vandalize things alongside cal as a teenager

kevin:

  • has “dark black eyes”
  • radio personality 
  • high voice
  • lives in a town more conservative than night vale (desert bluffs)
  • during the strex invasion, was physically handicapped
  • shown to enjoy dark, twisted things
  • often described as having a gruesome smile
  • has a fascination with teeth, gore and blood
  • decorates using the above

cal:

  • is cecil’s brother from an alternate timeline in which cecil never came out as gay
  • coughs up teeth
  • is bleeding throughout his episode 
  • leaves a bloodstain on cecil’s rug

abby:

  • is cecil’s sister from the timeline in which the show takes place

 “ash beach”:

  • similarly to how in “cal”, cecil hears crunching eggshells, the figures are describes as sounding like cracking egg shells
  • it was an episode in which people experienced false memories
  • in the episode, john peters (you know, the farmer?) experienced false memories of his long-lost brother

here’s what we don’t know.

  • e v e r y t h i n g

AND THIS IS ALL WITHOUT FUCKING MENTIONING HUNTOKAR, THE BLOOD-SPACE-WAR, THE END OF THE WORLD, OR THE RUSSIAN STUFF.

Do y'all ever listen to WTNV and mouth certain phrases along with Cecil, like not just the obvious ones like “Goodnight, Night Vale, goodnight” and “And now, the weather” but also “you know, the farmer” and “Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex” and “literally a five-headed dragon”