Pretty sure I drove through Night Vale on my way home tonight.

“We invite the children of same-sex couples to listen,” said the radio announcer. “We invite the children of different-sex couples to listen. We do NOT invite the Children of the Corn to listen.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” a different voice cut in. “Some of our best friends are…” *realized what he was saying was ridiculous* “… corn.”

honestly the phrase “this podcast is ruining my goddamn life” has been relevant to me since 2012. back then, it was welcome to night vale. right now, it’s the adventure zone and wolf 359. like no joke, imma be a crotchety ass 99 y/o grandmama on her death bed still sobbing over some dope ass audio masterpiece, clinging to my bedsheets as i begin to slip away from this mortal coil. i’ll let out a shaky, angry breath, and for the last time, the phrase “this podcast is ruining my goddamn life” will leave my lips, and i’ll literally just fucking die as i lived: getting the shit kicked out of me by some asshole shitbaby dumbasses mouthbreathing into a microphone. fuck  


Here’s my ‘Welcome to Night Vale’ Halloween party menu!

- Night Vale’s eye logo pizza (from Big Rico’s pizza)
-John Peters (you know, the farmer)’s imaginary (pop)corn.
-Cotton candy Glow Cloud (ALL HAIL).
-Carlos’ green Margarita shots (’cause we are really into science these days)
-Secret Piña Colada to avoid the Secret Police (and remember, if you see something, say nothing and drink to forget)
-Khoshekh cupcakes with black tea that is mostly void, partially stars ;)

Good Halloween, Night Vale, and good night!~