WTF-is-he-talking-about

anonymous asked:

ok but hc that matt, now that he's living with a bunch of alien rebels in cannon, has two levels: really formal and courteous because he's read A Lot about hypothetical alien encounters, and (once he's spoken to anyone for over 2 minutes) since we are Friends now you need to tell me Everything about where you come from and how you work and also starts using a lot of jargon and earth specific language forgetting that nobody understands wtf hes talking about

I LOVE IT THANK YOU ANON

honestly one of my vld headcanons (that i’m dumping on you bc you gave me an inch of room to mention it sorry lol) is that like…very very few alien species care about evolution. like, one matt explains it they’re like “oh yeah that makes sense” but?? they don’t track it?? they’re more focused on their future than their past which is why they’re more advanced than humanity ahaha. matt usually muddles his way through to form his own hypotheses based on other species native to their planets. but when he meets the alteans, who have these amazing shapeshifting abilities and human-like appearances, but neither keep track of their evolutionary history nor have a planet/other native species for him to study…a piece of him permanently Dies.

headcanon that eomer is the biggest horse geek ever. he learns how to make all kinds of custom equipment and shoes and gear for firefoot, and when they go riding he talks to him all the time like “yeah i know you’re faster than so-and-so hama doesn’t know wtf he’s talking about”. he shoes his own horse even though his squires always line up to help him, and he uses fancy custom-made horseshoes to improve balance and speed and traction (when most of his men are like “whatever i’ll take whatever the blacksmith has in the shop”). he builds obstacle courses on the plains and challenges erkenbrand and other nerds to races and he always wins. (come on.) whenever people go looking for him they find him sitting cross-legged in firefoot’s stable with hay tangled in his hair and a horse book in his lap and they’re like “eomer weren’t we supposed to spar this afternoon?” and he’s like “did you know horses have excellent long-term memories?” and everyone rolls their eyes like oh my god eomer no one cares. and eowyn digs up terrible old chalk drawings eomer drew when they were kids and tacks them to the walls to embarrass him around his friends because he’s usually a super chill badass dude but as soon as someone mentions horses he turns into a wide-eyed geek and no one can get him to shut up about whatever dumb thing firefoot did while they were riding that afternoon.

nightsilver christmas headcanon

ok so i finally decided to share my headcanon with the world aka tumblr i apologise for it being super long (orz) didn’t mean to write so much but anyways, here it is i hope you enjoy it

OK IMAGINE peter having a crush on kurt and he’s super shy about it like whenever someone asks him who’s the person he likes he’s all like “pffft liking someone is too much effort and I’m lazy” but when kurt passes by him and says hi and he’s blushing and thinking stuff like “im SO gAY” and then christmas is about to come and he’s like damn i want to give something to kurt but idk what, so he remembers that his mom knows how to knit and uses his super speed to go back home and asks his mom to teach him how to knit and his mom is like “oh my god peter did you got expelled from the school?” And peter is like woah calm down woman I’m here for u to teach me stuff, chill

And his mom is so surprised like ??? What’s happening to my son??? Why is he showing interest in these kind of things??? And then she asks peter about it and he’s just like “yeah u know i think it’ll be a good idea to give something to this blue guy who’s always friendly with me at school plus i get to learn how to do these things and if the mutant stuff doesn’t go well i can just open my own store and sell knitted clothes” and his mom is like “oh well i guess that’s true” but she thinks “who is this person and what did he do to my son wtf he used to be such an introvert and now he’s even talking about making his own business!? I’m so proud I’m gonna thank the professor as soon as i can” and peter learns how to knit and he’s actually pretty good at it and then he makes some warm and comfy gloves for kurt because the winter is super cold at the school 

so he returns at the school just in time because kurt was searching for him and he’s freaking out and trying to hide the gloves because those were supposed to be a surprise for christmas and kurt says “peter! I was searching for you! What are you gonna do on christmas?” And peter is like “idk maybe play some pacman??? I bet you’re gonna go to church that day” and kurt is like “yeah but u know i wanted to ask you if you wanted to come and pray with me at church and then we could spend some time together… if u want, ofc” and peter is like “wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf he’s so cute when he talks about church… wAIT did i really think that ohgod something is wrong with me” and he finally says “oh.. okay… i guess it’s fine i’ll make some room for you since my agenda is almost full this christmas but i’ll see what i can do” and then kurt gets super worried and says “no, it’s fine!! really!! you don’t need to come with me if you don’t want to!! or if you’re already busy on christmas it’s ok i understand” and then peter notices that kurt has this sad look on his face and just sighs and says “it was a joke you silly, ofc im free on christmas and i have all the time in the world just for you" 

and then both of them realised what peter just said and blush a little and kurt is so happy because he really wanted to be with peter on christmas and then peter just gives up and gives the gloves to kurt and says “these were gonna be a surprise, christmas gift for you actually but i kinda fucked up because I’m not good when it comes to hide something or keep secrets so i’ll just give them to you instead, hope you like them” and kurt is sooo confused??? and happy??? and wants to cry a little?? (basically a mess of emotions) because no one ever has give him something and it was hand made like how cool is that and then peter is like WAIT WHY ARE YOU CRYING DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG OH GOD ARE YOU HURT??? WAIT HERE I’LL GO CALL THE PROF and he runs but kurt bamfs to where peter is and teleports them to the library (bc no one was there ok shhh also I like libraries so yeah..) and tells peter that he was so happy because it was such a gentle and cute act from his part and peter is like nah it’s nothing but kurt is really touched and ends up kissing peter’s cheek and they blush and peter is like IM SO GAY and kurt just melts because the kiss was out of impulse but peter catches him before he hits the floor and says “don’t you die on me, we still have a date at the church!”

And ofc kurt melted even more and peter is like “shit he’s so cute his cuteness is gonna give me a heart attack” and they end up praying together at the church on chirstmas and since peter didn’t know how to pray kurt helped him and they prayed together and when they finished praying they were talking a walk and peter ended up holding kurt’s hand and kurt almost melted again and said “i didn’t thank you for the gloves so i’m gonna do that now. thank you so much peter, the gloves are perfect and i love them!” And peter is like “holy shit he liked them holy shit SHIT” and then there was an awkward silence between them for a couple of mins but then peter kissed kurt out of nowhere and said “i’m taking this as your chirstmas gift for me okay? you don’t have to give me anything else” and they both blush again and kurt just smiles and doesn’t let go from peter’s hand and they keep walking until they finally come back to the school and then both of them say good night to each other and return to their room and blush and when they’re inside and start to freak out because that was their first kiss and both of them thought “WHAT IF I SUCKED AT KISSING OH GOD HELP ME”

and now they realise that they have a thing for each other, congrats they are gay the end.

BONUS, thanks to @96aiko who complemented my headcanon with cute stuff

  • learning how to knit didn’t take Peter long at all but that was because of his super speed that he’s actually pretty clumsy and needed to knit at least 5 pairs of gloves until he was fully satisfied that they were good enough to give them to kurt
  • after kurt and peter become a thing, peter gains confidence and flirts with kurt every chance he gets because he loves to see kurt flustered but when it comes to kissing peter is really shy himself and doesn’t like to do it around other people. kurt loves to give him a lot of tiny kisses though, to get back at him for the (super cute) flirting
youtube

I’m not a religious person but that kid in the blue shirt knows wtf he’s talking about

10

glowing angel 😍💘✨

anonymous asked:

Legolas is still a master of pointing out the obvious tho. As they pass the construction site on the green, "they're digging up the green." As the professor hands out the syllabus, "ugh, it's syllabus day." Whenever in Gandalf's class, "no one can understand wtf he's even talking about." Like hey Legolas thanks for the insight there babe.

YES. THANK YOU. PERFECt. and everyones like “well, he isnt wrong??” 

Piece of shit POT meeting

Hey lovelies. A POT and I had been texting for a bit and, stupidly, the pre-set offer of good money made me ignore small red flags. There are lessons to be learned here from my mistakes. We decided a few weeks ago to meet and talk over coffee, the only thing is that he lives 3 and a half hours away. He’s been background checked by the site and over text something seemed a bit off but I pegged it on English not being his first language. I agreed to make the initial drive if he’d compensate me for my gas. First mistake, in my opinion. I’m beautiful, intelligent, witty, busy and kind. He’s wealthy and should have been willing to meet halfway when I asked or offered to come to me at first. This would be the true gentlemen thing to do, or to throw out a comfortable set sum for me to drive to him.

Okay, so I drive for fucking ever to meet this guy at a Starbucks in a state I’ve never been to. He said to text him when I left so I did. I also asked for a picture so I know who I’m meeting. Another mistake, should have asked earlier. It’s a simple request. I saw much later after driving he responded “You will see me when you come. Sweetheart we have been talking for long time.”

Red flag. He should have been able to send me a picture. But I was on my way long gone by now. He then sends a bunch of texts in a row. “If you have changed mind please tell me. No bad feelings. You are probably not coming. It’s OK no big deal. Now you know the reason why I can not drive half way.”

Mind you I’m 30 min away from arriving and I read these thinking what the fuck, we’ve had plans for ages. My intuition was thinking, okay maybe he’s handicapped and can’t drive. No big deal though he should have told me. But his insecurity became super clear and that’s a huge no no. I HATE that. I’d rather deal with a cocky motherfucker and throw it in his face with sarcasm.

SO. THE CRAZY PART. Our 60 second interaction:
I get there and wait quietly in a corner. In comes an Indian man who approaches me rapidly, sits down and I smile and turn on the charm to introduce myself and shake hands but I’m SHUT DOWN. This asshole is so nervous and paranoid as fuck. He doesn’t introduce himself or smile or say hi, he sits and says “Yes okay. I can’t talk here. People know me, I am very rich man who own many businesses.” I said “excuse me? You chose this place.”

Then he says “We must talk IN MY CAR or you can go leave, I give gas money. No problem. No big deal.” I’m in shock and say “Ummmm hell no I’m not getting in your car, I don’t fucking know you.” He says, no lie “You know someone after 30 seconds, you feel you can trust them, we know each other.” And he keeps wanting me to get in the car and I say no. He has the nerve to say “You must trust people”. He actually SHAMES me for not getting into his car with him. I say, “You told me we would talk over coffee during a coffee date. Do you own this shop? Why would you pick somewhere you can’t talk.” Then he rambles, very paranoid, that everyone in town knows him and he can’t. He says “I give you gas money. You go. I not even touch your fingernail.” He gives me 40 bucks and says “See, I give charity. Not even touch you. No hard feelings. I very rich man. See, no big deal.” And yes his wallet was fat as fuck but his cheapass gave me 40$. Then he gets up and leaves and I’m just floored.

This all happened SO fast. In under a minute. I hung around a bit and bought myself coffee. Then he calls me and I click ignore. And then he texts me the following messages which I used ALL MY GOD GIVEN STRENGTH to not reply to and tell him off. He’s so far out there, he would never ever come close to realizing all he did wrong so it would have been pointless. “No bad feelings at all. You probably had lot bad experiences. I can tell. We can talk on the phone if you want. This not somebody who is fake or cheap man. You look nice. Very pretty. And seems like good girl. But you may have to trust people to certain extent. People underestimate me…. Until they see my connection with Kristen. And I wanted to show you that connection in the car. Discrete is very important to me.”

First off. I don’t know wtf he was talking about with “Kristen”. Did he have another girl in the car??? A dog?? Good gracious I have no idea and will never know. Weird as fuck. I just ignored this excuse for a human being and didn’t respond. Now, I do think this all didn’t come from a predatory mindset, he just seemed unnaturally and scarily paranoid. He probably does own quite a few businesses and feels super paranoid and guilty for engaging in an exchange like this. But it’s no excuse to be a liar, impolite, disrespectful and cheap. So I drove my ass back home, wiser and back to my drawing board. Never again ladies, never again. I’m sure I’ll look back and laugh at this when I have my 5K allowance from an actual man in the future. But for now I’m still pissed at him and myself for wasting my whole day.