Hate to Admit

Brett Talbot x Reader

•Summary: Y/n has joined Devenfords lacrosse team.The day of the scrimmage against Beacon hills, Y/n finds her self being something she wouldn’t have ever dreamed of, let’s just say she needs to get her answers from a certain jerk.

•Warnings: None

•Word count- 2010

A/n: First imagine, probably very bad & I apologize in advance :-)

Keep reading

Things I said after it was over (Reader x Kyoya)

((After so many asks about the second part to this, I was inspired to do a second part. So no further ado I give you Things I (Reader) said after it was over))

You met him under the big oak tree, writing away in that small notebook of his. Glasses low on his nose and his face scrunched in concentration.  You had seen him in your econ class, he always seemed to have the answers for the questions asked, yet he wasn’t that big of a show off. “Hey, notebook guy!” you said, a small smile on your face as you made your way towards him. And with those four words both your worlds fell apart.

Your history was long, after all you both lasted almost throughout all four years of college. You helped him build another host club, you were there for each other after every single milestone of your new young adult life. You shared a bond beyond what you could ever imagine, yet it took all but a few words for that to fall apart. Upon reflecting on your relationship, it may had been a bit rocky towards the end, yet you were still happy with Kyoya, you would have given up the world for him. Somehow it was better he had ended it, because then at least you knew how he truly felt about you.  His words still stung, yet they helped you get over him, slowly and never all at once.

You saw him again, under the big oak tree, writing away in that small notebook of his a few months after the terrible break up. It took you a while to get over his words, and even after all these months they still held a heavy burden in your heart. You couldn’t see him without remembering his cruel words. “You are the easiest thing to replace.” Yet you decided it was around time you confronted him. He hadn’t bothered to check up on you personally, he didn’t bother to apologize, and you had decided it was time for actual closure. You weren’t going to waste another thought or tearful night on him, just as he hadn’t spare an extra second with you after it was over.

“Hey notebook guy.” You said courteously, making your way over to the bench he was seated on. You felt a pang at your heart when he looked up. He had grown his hair out, you noticed. You had been careful to avoid him, and it was easy since you had a completely changed your schedule after the breakup. He gave you a small smile, closing his notebook. “Y/N, it’s been a while hasn’t it?” He responded, in the same courteous tone you had given him. “Yes it has, how have you been?” The sigh he gave worried you slightly, before you regained yourself. You weren’t his girlfriend, you weren’t anything to him you recalled. “Busy, studying, seeing what to do after we graduate.” “Oh yeah, I heard you were invited by to attend here again for your masters. Your father must be proud you went beyond your brothers, with having American schools and companies looking into you. Foreign investors must be good for your family’s business” You said looking back at him.

He nodded, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and even if you didn’t know him, you could tell he meant business. “I know you want to talk about that night and I just want to-” You interrupted him with a swift “No.” He raised an eyebrow at you, certainly surprised with your outburst. “No Kyoya, you talked that night, you talked and talked and wouldn’t listen to me, now it’s your turn to listen to me. You broke my heart that night, yet that was nothing compared to your indifference for the days following, you broke the entirety of my being. You knew how much I needed you, how much you meant to me, for you to just tell me I was worthless to you, nothing more than an experience!.” You started, your tone growing with aggressiveness, all the emotions you bottled up for him starting to seep through your words. “I loved you, I shared parts of myself that I wouldn’t share with anyone else. Yet that wasn’t’ enough for the ever knowing Kyoya Ootori, you had to dig through my past, through stuff you knew would hurt me if they came out to light.  Yet it was my fault. I was stupid enough to believe I had the love of a cold calculating businessman.” You laughed humorlessly, “I was stupid enough to believe I would be enough for you, that my love for you would be enough. Nothing is enough for you.” You said looking away from him.

The silence between you two was deafening, the tension was so thick it could be tangible, yet you weren’t near close to done. “I don’t blame myself anymore for what you said. After you said those things, I actually believed I was worthless. Now I know better. I was stupid yeah, but it was never my fault.  I am worth more than how you treated me. I know I’m not a girl your father would approve of, hell I spent four years dating you and I never met him or your brothers. I didn’t complain Kyoya, I knew how much it meant to you. I loved you. And that is what love is about, respecting the other person, knowing them and not pressuring them. Love is trust, and it hurt when you didn’t trust me, because I never for a second stopped trusting you, even as you said those words, I thought I knew you well enough that you would come back, apologize, and no matter what you would have been forgiven.” You sigh and looked back at him, “I know I may not have a huge influential family, and yes you knew I was scholarship student when we met, yet you are no better than me because of your position. You need to learn that the rest of us haven’t had the upbringing you had, the competitive ambiance in our families, we never learnt we will be used. ” You could see your words had some weight on him, you always told him that his eyes were a dead giveaway. Your hand moved to his, grasping it lightly.  “I really hope your happy someday Kyoya. I know you’ve improved a lot since high school, yet you still have a long way to go.” You said looking at your intertwined hands. “Learn to trust others, trust those who are important to you. Not everyone is a business transaction.” You felt his hand tighten around yours. “Our four years are something I will never forget, we had an amazing chemistry. You are the first man I ever truly loved, and you know how they say you never forget your first love. Besides I think now, we can be friends.” You told him smiling as you leant towards him. “You are a great person Kyoya, underneath the façade you have built.” You kissed his cheek. “I don’t think I will ever stop loving you entirely, and that’s okay, because if I don’t feel this way, then it means that what we had was truly make believe. But I will hold that love and passion, and fuel it to be a great friend to you.” You smiled and him and kissed his cheek. “You have people who care about you, and you will have people that will hurt you. Yet I hope you learn how to let go of some of your past, let go of what hurts you.” You stood up. “Let go of what’s holding you back, and continue on being yourself. Find your true self Kyoya, because I saw a glimpse at him and he had so much in front of him.” So finally Kyoya let go.

Kyoya never forgot about that talk, it was a conversation he hadn’t known he needed. He was much calmer in retrospect to you. He knew he had hurt you and it was unbecoming of him not to check up on you, yet those days after your falling apart he began to doubt himself. He had doubted his words, doubted if they actually rung true or if it were his anger from you exclamations beforehand.

Kyo! You had absolutely no right to do that! Look through my stuff as though you were so sort of stalker. It’s my life, its part of me that doesn’t need you.” And you had promised him that you had given yourself entirely to him, that you wouldn’t lie that there would never ve a part of you that you would withhold from him. Yet you had lied, which didn’t seem to surprise him anymore. 

Had he really loved you? Or was it something you had desperately wanted, and he wanted to give you what you wanted.  He knew he loved you, you never got in the way of him, you never exclaimed at him for his long hours of work. You had been patient, understanding. You didn’t give him the fire you once had when he met you. You had become docile, ordinary. He understood that four years can change a person a lot, yet he go to a point where he no longer recognized you. You were different than the bright eyed girl filled up excitement and awe at the world. He could no longer surprise you, he could tell that in those last months, he couldn’t fulfil your excitement anymore. It had become clockwork to you both. He knew that you would never leave him, so he had to leave you. He worried so much about you the days following, yet he couldn’t afford to want to get back with you if he didn’t understand his emotions himself. He loved you enough to let you go.

Tagged by the wonderful @queen-anime to do the “Top 10 ships (you’ll go down with to the bitter end)” *thanks lovely!!*

THESE ARE IN NO ORDER BECAUSE I CANNOT BE EXPECTED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY PRECIOUS DARLINGS. (also I can’t add all my darlings or I may have forgotten to add some as this is off the top of my head. Also please forgive any spelling mistakes etc as its currently five in the morning…. Oops…)

1. Edward Elric x Winry Rockbell (Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood)

How do I even begin to explain how much I love this relationship and how it develops throughout FMA:B? Winry and Ed were one of my first anime otp’s and I am in awe of their slowly progressing relationship. From childhood friends, to lovers followed to a family, Ed and Winry have always been close, regardless of their romantic feelings, which only began to emerge as the two matured. I love their relationship because it’s not simply founded on love. Winry and Ed care for eachother as people, and have always looked after one another (as well as Al).The fact that these two got a fairytale like ending melts my heart.

2. Bilbo Baggins x Thorin Oakenshield (The Hobbit)

Okay. Please just hear me out and let me explain if you’re confused. (also sorry I wrote so much, but I feel this ship needs to be explained more clearly than the others)

Although it hasn’t been confirmed (or denied) and the film plays far more on the possibility of a romantic relationship between the two than Tolkien’s perspective in the book, Bilbo and Thorin’s relationship (whether romantic or platonic) melts my heart and brings me to tears. It’s safe to say that Thorin and Bilbo have a very rocky relationship, however throughout the three films Bilbo and Thorin’s faith and loyalty to one another always shines through, despite Thorin’s growing dragon sickness (which aided by Bilbo and the others he overcomes) and the imminent danger their situation has landed them in. This is one of the most heartbreaking facts as when Thorin is on his deathbed, having over come dragon sickness, he apologises to Bilbo for leading him “into such peril” and asks for his forgiveness. Once forgiven, he then smiles, telling Bilbo to “go back to your books, and your armchair, plant your trees, watch them grow. If more people valued home above gold, the world would be a merrier place” and “farewell, Master burglar.” Bilbo replies with an immediate refusal of “You’re going to live” indicating his unwillingness to let Thorin go. GOD THAT SCENE KILLS ME. 

Another thing to think about is the length to which Bilbo goes for Thorin and the drastic change in Thorin’s perception of Bilbo throughout the films (in Thorin’s eyes, Bilbo starts out as the least significant, least useful member of the company. But by the third film (after his epiphany) Thorin sees Bilbo as one of the most important figures in his life.) Basically the little ray of sunshine melts the king’s cold heart. But it seems the world is against them (cruel cruel world) as whatever their relationship might have bloomed into (again whether platonic or romantic) is cut short by tragedy.
(side note: I was watching LotR: fellowhsip of the ring earlier and I noticed at the beginning that Frodo says “Bilbo’s been a bit odd lately… He’s taken to locking himself in his study. He spends hours and hours pouring over old maps when he thinks I’m not looking.” Now this could be due to the fact that he’s writing his book about his time with the Dwarves of Erebor, but that in itself indicates a need to relive his time with the dwarves (particuarly with their King, Thorin?) just something to think *and cry* about.)

3. Natsu Dragneel x Lucy Heartfilia (Fairy Tail)

Where oh where do I begin? 

Although Natsu and Lucy haven’t confessed any romantic feelings towards one another (yet), there’s still so much I admire and love about their relationship. As with Winry and Ed, these two have known eachother for a long time. Not as long as Winry and Ed obviously, but their relationship retains the same slow progression of growing feelings combined with fierce loyalty and unconditional love. Even without them expressing their feelings directly to one another (which will happen oneday, pls Mashima) anyone can see the bond between them is more than mere friendship. They may be lovers oneday, but they are also (in my opinion) soulmates. Bound to and by one another by the events and courses of their lives. I think that in itself is beautiful about their relationship.

4. The Tenth Doctor x Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

I mean, who doesn’t ship this? Let’s be honest. I have nothing more to add other than Ten is my favourite Doctor and I just can’t deal with the cute, adorableness of them. They were also my first hardcore ship so I love them both to pieces.

4. Faramir x Éowyn (Lord of the Rings)

Okay so granted that this couples’ relationship is more developed in the book, but I view the film version of the pair as a glimpse into what the couple truly stand for/mean to each other. Both Faramir and Eowyn are strong, wonderful characters and the fact that they overcome rejection and loneliness and find love and comfort in each other, even with the imminent threat of Sauron, makes me so happy. They deserve to be happy, right? 

In summary, just read this quote from Return of The King (book) and if you don’t love them, you have no soul:

“ ‘No longer do I desire to be a queen,’ she said.

Then Faramir laughed merrily. 'That is well,’ he said; 'for I am not a king. Yet I will wed with the White Lady of Rohan, if it be her will. And if she will, then let us cross the River and in happier days let us dwell in fair Ithilien and there make a garden. All things will grow with joy there, if the White Lady comes.’

'Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor?’ she said. 'And would you have you proud folk say to you: “There goes a lord who tamed a wild shieldmaiden of the North! Was there no woman of the race of Numenor to choose?” ’

'I would,’ said Faramir. And he took her in his arms and kissed her under the sunlit sky, and he cared not that they stood high upon the walls in the sight of many. And many indeed saw them and the light that shone about them as they came down from the walls and went hand in hand to the Houses of Healing.

And to the Warden of the Houses Faramir said: 'Here is the Lady Eowyn of Rohan, and now she is healed.’ “

6. Mary Stuart “Queen of Scots” x Francis II (Reign)

So this ship is thoroughly breaking my heart. Although they both have their faults and their relationship is on and off, they always come back to one another. Some people might say this is a bad thing, as their relationship isn’t stable, and you’re right in the sense that it isn’t. But the point of their relationship being portrayed this way, shows how truly and deeply they love one another. Despite all their flaws, all the barriers pushing them apart and all the mistakes they’ve made. Their love is magnetic, they’re two magnets being drawn together despite all odds.

7. Arthur Pendragon x Guinevere (Merlin)

GUINEVERE AND ARTHUR. OH MY GOSH. I’ll start off by saying that I just adore the progression of their relationship as a couple in parallel with their individual transformations throughout the five series. 

Just like any good couple, they’re always looking out for one another, and share many loving, beautiful moments. But for me, it’s Gwen’s behavior towards Arthur which makes me love this relationship so much. Arthur starts series one as an arrogant, self indulgent prince, thinking of Gwen as nothing more than a servant (he doesn’t think much of anyone besides himself really). However, when she speaks her mind to him about his behaviour etc he suddenly sees a whole new side to her and a whole new side to himself and his actions. He begins to listen to her more and his faith in her guidance grows and grows. In turn, she begins to see the changes in him and a glimpse of the great king that he will become. They begin to love each other’s personalities before falling in love with each other romantically. Also, the most heart wrenchingly beautiful thing about Gwen’s outspoken remarks is that through her, Arthur becomes a better man, and in turn, a better King. She shapes what he will become, as much as Merlin does in my opinion. I just love them both so much.

8. Pocahontas x John Smith (Disney’s Pocahontas)

This film is beautiful and everything about their relationship is beautiful. The way their love bridges the gap between their two cultures, the way through her, he sees everthing in a completely new light. Even though the ending isn’t “happy” per say, it has a power in it which other films just don’t have. The amount they sacrifice, not just for each other, but for what’s right and what they’ve learnt through one another: The fact that Smith takes the blame for killing Kocoum, the fact that Pocahontas is willing to risk her own life to save him and then in turn he risks his life for her father. The entire thing is a masterpiece and I will always be in awe of how beautiful it is.

(also can we please appreciate the soundtrack because it’s amazing. Oh and the sequel NEVER happened, okay?)

9. Katniss Everdeen x Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games)

Unconditional. Unrivaled love. I want a relationship like this (without the hunger games and the uprising and the hijacking obviously.) Peeta is my favourite character in THG and you might be like well what’s so great about him? He’s just a softie who likes Katniss. Well you’re right in one aspect. He loves Katniss. He loves her to such an extent that he is able to overcome being hijacked and learns to love her all over again. That’s how much he loves her. Wouldn’t you like someone to love you like that? I also love how the progression of Katniss’ feelings towards Peeta are polar opposite. While Peeta’s feelings are clear from the start, it takes time for Katniss to realise the true extent of her love for the boy with the bread. 

The way their relationship blooms and then is stolen away is beautifully tragic but in the end, their love overcomes the horror of the games and the past they’ve both endured. They’re love is “real.”

10. Howl x Sophie (Howl’s Moving Castle)

I literally can’t even. These two are just darlings and I will forever love them and this film. The idea that through loving each other they learn to love themselves and learn who they really are, makes me so happy. I love this concept and it’ the reason why ‘HMC’ is my favourite Ghibli movie.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, (if you have any opinions on my ships or want to fangirl with me over them then please go ahead ^-^)

I’m going to tag these lovelies (if you don’t want to do it, obviously you don’t have to)

@geekygirl666 @oh-my-mavis @erzuh @angaebi @arourajean @the-dancing-squirrel @sophiethedragonslayer @fairy-hoe-tail @v-juvia @sakura-petal91 @draagneelsn @ultears-ass 

I want to talk about Dean and Cas and their relationship, about how they’re not ‘just a ship’, how their bond could be interpreted in various ways - from deep friendship, to kindred spirits, to romance - but how love plays a central part in it in any case. About how they heal each other, care for each other, love each other and get lost without the other. 

Essentially, Dean and Cas matter…

… because Cas looks at Dean’s scars and he understands, he doesn’t judge. He can take Dean’s pain and accept that it’s there - because he knows how much it hurts not to feel understood. Dean needs someone strong enough to carry him for a change - despite all the weight the years have put on his shoulders.

… because when Cas met the Winchesters, he knew next to nothing about humanity, he was a slave to obedience, and at the same time he became more and more estranged to his own brothers and sisters… he got lost in a whirlwind. Then there were the Winchesters, there was Dean. And they took him in - again and again. They gave him purpose and a light to strive toward. They made his existing easier, made his painful transition into finding his own identity more bearable.

… because Cas can see Dean’s faults, his anger, his stubbornness and irritation. But what he sees underneath all that shines so much brighter than any of the destructive crap Dean still insists on arming himself with. What Dean is to him goes beyond comprehension.

… because Cas came to earth a stranger to human emotion after years of drowning out the potential, pushing away the silent but constant yearning inside. Soon enough, Dean made him feel everything. And he still does. Dean sparked his desire for choice and at the end of it all, he will choose himself.  

… because Dean was lost and broken, his humanity crippled and bloodied. Self-loathing was all he knew and chaotic desperation was the fuel that kept him going. Cas gave him hope, fleeting at times, but hope nonetheless. Cas became his friend, his family, part of the little group of people Dean would swear unspoken loyalty to. 

… because Dean needs someone who understands why Sam always comes first. Someone who won’t make him give up on his little brother. Someone who will give him time to figure out his painful habits and memories on his own. Someone who will catch him once the trauma surrounding his dad, his mom, his brother comes crashing down, undoubtedly leaving him boneless and lost. 

… because Dean needs time to heal, time to understand, time to let go. And Cas will never push because he needs his own time too. 

… because even when Dean gave up on life and himself, Cas won’t let him. He means too much and Cas has learnt from his mistakes. 

… because Dean can read Cas like a book and Cas is family - he would give anything to make Cas understand just how significant he is, with or without his powers. Just Cas being Cas. 

… because Cas is kindness and determination and purpose put into one. Because Cas needs someone he knows he can always return to - and he always does, always back to Dean. Cas needs someone who can see him and love him, not Castiel but Cas. He has so much love to give and a deep need to be loved in return, to feel safe in knowing that he’s cared for deeply. In that respect, Dean is exactly the same. 

… because they both need someone to call them out, someone to get angry on their behalf, someone they can get angry with, someone who can take it all, and make them see sense again… but someone who will still be there by the end of it. Someone who is family. 

… because they both know betrayal and hurt and pain beyond measure. They both lived and died, fighting wars inside and outside and in-between. 

… because what they see in each other may be raw and terrifying but at the same time it’s genuine and timeless. What they find with each other is everything. 

… because what they are to each other transcends knowledge and reality - it’s everything they are and know to be. It’s not something either of them knows how to put into words - that’s not who they are. But what they see in the other’s eyes tells a thousand stories and more. One day, they will be strong enough to really look and really see. 

Dean and Cas matter because they both see their own worth reflected in the other. And that means, one day, they will finally understand why they matter outside of the other. It means they will finally have the ground to heal and grow from their past rather than continue being consumed by it. It means they will have a chance to move forward and make their own future - together and on their own.