What the hell, Stan?

So, I was really hyped for the new episode “Northwest Mansion Noir”, but I was even more hyped to see Grunkle Stan, cuz, ya’know, I need my daily dose of Hunkle. 

Now, these are my thoughts throughout the episode (regarding Stanford).

Me: We didn’t see him in the trailer, but I know he’s gonna be in the episode, he’s been in every epi so far. Nnngh, can’t wait!

Me: Aww, look at that satisfied lil’ bastard, his face is adorable. I’m guessing Stan’s gonna join him or claim back his chair?

Me: No? Okay, well, he’s gotta at least check out what all the commotion and cheering is about.

*No signs of Stanford so far*
Me: Well, that’s odd. Oh, he’ll give the twins (+Candy, Grenda) a ride to the NW mansion! Any second now we’ll see his red STNLYMBL drive through the gates and hit a fancy statue that Stan’s not gonna pay for, right?

*gates close*

Me: Aaallllllrrrrrrighty then, no STNLYMBL….But he won’t let the kids go to the biggest party of Gravity Falls without a semi-responsible grown up, right? …..Right?

*No Stanford*

Me: Apparently, he will. And he did. Goddamnit, Stan!

Me: Uh, maybe, he’s…in….the….flashback? I mean, he’s old! Not exactly 150 years, but, um….I….He..uh…timetravel?

*Nope*

Me: *sigh* No timetravel……Where the dickens in he then? Is he outside the gates with the other citizens of Gravity Falls?

Me: What the fudge, man? Where are you?

Me: The gates are open! Surely, he won’t miss out on this! The Northwests are RICH! Stan could steal a fortune! He’d steal everything!

*Still no Stan*

Me:

Me: …..wut?…..Wha…why…wat…he….He’s gotta be there, somewhere, ya’know, stealing silverware.*slowly starting to panic*

*Nope, he ain’t at the party*

Me: *eye twitch*…….Okay, okay, everything is okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s like  ”The Society of The Blind Eye” where he doesn’t play a big part in the episode, but he’ll definately be in the end credits doing something epic with the portal or whatnot.

*End credits have the agents fighting like a married couple, still no signs of Stan*

Me: ….


Me: SCREW THIS, I GIVE UP!

*The last frame of the episode is shown, I quickly decode it, hoping for something good*

*end page says: Stan is not what he seems*

Me: