WHY-ARE-THEY-SO-GRAINY

Why the fuck do they make them so fucking grainy and textured? You could shave a goddamn gorilla with an english muffin. That’s the real secret with English teeth is that they keep biting what basically tastes like an SOS pad and scrubbing off all of their enamel. Horrid and appalling. That’s not food that’s banned according to the Geneva conventions.