WHAT AM I DOING IN LIFE AND...

and here i bring you yet another kara/lena au that nobody asked for but that i’m sharing with y’all anyways because what else do i have to do with my life at 12:00 am.

  • james wins two tickets for the upcoming lakers game in national city but comes to find out that he can’t go because he has another important thing to do that night (i don’t know what thing exactly but the point is he can’t go), so he’s left with two tickets for the lakers and he’s not sure who to give them to, so of course he goes to kara: “i know you don’t like basketball, but seeing it live is such a different experience, you’ll enjoy it!”
  • problem is that kara doesn’t know who to ask to go with her, alex has a date night, winn is not going anywhere near a basketball stadium (highschool trauma), j’onn says he has no time for games. lena is one of her first options, but main reason she doesn’t want to ask her is fear of rejection. she’s a ceo! she probably has no interest in spending a friday night with her.
  • alex tells her she’s being ridiculous, lena’s her friend and she’ll enjoy spending time with her regardless of the activity, she pratically drives kara to l-corp so she can ask lena to go with her.
  • lena knows nothing about basketball, for a second she actually confuses it with beisball, but kara looks so cute and how can she say not to that face? so she agrees and kara pulls her into the biggest hug.
  • because lena has never, ever gone to a basketball game she shows up to kara’s apartment with a tight dress and high heels, her makeup on point as always and a big ass valentino black bag, meanwhile kara’s wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, maybe even a snapback if you want the complete Gay™ look.
  • lena is so confused the entire time, she watches as the players pass the ball to each other and hears the crowd roar when they make a triple. kara is no better, but she at least knows the basics because james explained them to her prior, so she gets into it after the first ten minutes, she claps with the audience, screams in chorus with the other people. she asks lena if she’s having fun, if she wants to leave but lena says no and kara probably buys her popcorn or something, popcorn that by the way kara ends up eating. 
  • halftime rolls in and lena takes the opportunity to answer all the messages that are unread on her phone, “i’m so sorry i swear i’ll only take a minute,” kara smiles and tells her to go ahead. 
  • lena is answering to one of her business partners when she hears kara choke on the popcorn and everyone around them whistling and clapping, so she turns to see what is wrong to find kara looking at the enormous screen in the middle of the stadium with a pink blush on her cheeks and wide eyes. the camera is focusing both of them with a heart around their silhouettes and “kiss cam!” written on pink letters just above their heads. 
  • everyone in the stadium starts cheering for them, “kiss! kiss! kiss!” over and over again, the damn camera doesn’t seem to find anybody else as interesting and though kara wants to laugh and write an enormous sign that reads that hey, they’re just friends! she catches the way lena’s heartbeat speeds up and how her breathing becomes uneven and okay, maybe a little kiss won’t hurt, after all they’ve become close after the recent events and what’s wrong with maybe platonically kissing your friend on the lips? a little peck and that’s it. 
  • however, once they turn around to look at each other kara notices just how green lena’s eyes are and how pale her skin looks and also how her red lips part to meet hers and when they finally kiss the screaming and whistling, all the noise around them disappears and kara can only focus on how soft lena’s is and how her lipstick tastes like strawberry and oh, god, when she feels her tongue caressing her bottom lip kara is sure she’s going to pass out. 
  • they’re both a little breathless when they break apart, a young lady sitting next to them gives kara a high five and then the second half of the game starts but kara can’t focus on anything anymore because she still tastes lena on her tongue and she realizes that shit, she wants to kiss her again. and again. and again. 
  • the lakers win by three points and lena’s driver is already waiting for them outside the stadium when the game ends, but the crowd is huge and she fears she’ll lose lena in the sea of people so she interwines their fingers together and walks them towards the exit ignoring the warmness that goes through her entire body at the feeling of lena’s hand against her own.
  • the car ride is kind of awkward, neither of them speak, they’re on each side of the car struggling on how to break the silence. lena sometimes catches kara looking and her and viceversa until it’s too much and kara blurts out: “i really liked it, the game. and also kissing you” and lena laughs before sheepishly nodding and saying “me too. i mean i liked kissing you, i didn’t understand the game at all.”
  • they make out until they get to kara’s apartmet. (。♥‿♥。)
  • before kara falls asleep she receives a message from lena that says “thank you, i had a great time.” with maybe a smiley face and two hearts and kara hides her face on her pillow.
  • the next morning when she wakes up and goes to work, everyone’s looking at her and whispering behind her back and kara’s afraid she might have a mustard stain on her white cardigan (it wouldn’t be the first time that happened). and then james sees her and before she can even say hello and ask what the hell is going on with everyone, he motions to the screens where a video of her and lena kissing is projecting, the entire internet has gone wild about it. the video that was originally uploaded to youtube has for title “lena luthor kisses cute stranger @ bball game.” kara wants to die on the spot.

As i watch you from a distance, i can’t help but to smile. You are so happy now. You’re living your life without me and you’re starting to create memories with someone. I guess i already told you before that you are a star, you are a star not just because you always give me light, but because you are so far from me that i can’t touch you no matter what. I’m still here stuck with my love for you yet i can’t tell you about it because i don’t want to bother you anymore. I guess a year of hoping and chasing you was enough to tell myself that it’s really over and no matter what i do, i will never bring you back to me.

I still feel the twinge in my heart and the unending tears. It’s the thought of you being happy and living your life while here i am, loving you and can’t even move even an inch. I want you yo be happy, that’s what i want from the very start but i never thought that you being happy makes me happy but at the same time it makes me sad.


I wanted to ask you if i still mean something to you. But i am afraid of your answer and i don’t want to ask to an obvious answer. Seeing you happy now makes me think that i made no difference in your life when i’m gone. As if there was never any point in me being in it at all. I wanna know, how did you do that? How did you forget about me that fast? How did you move on and let go of what we had? I wanna know so i can do that too. I know it’s too much to say but i hope i had meant something to you that my absence would change your world or you feel empty because i was gone.


Because the world stopped turning the moment you left me and i wished it didn’t.

sabinaqvi  asked:

Hi! Firstly I love you and your studyblr. You are a life saver muah 💋. Ok so HELP ME! I have my mocks right around the corner and i haven't done anything and i still don't feel motivated. I don't wanna fail. I have to complete a lot of stuff so how do i do that quickly. Any tips?🙃😶❤️

Thank you so much for the compliments! You have no idea how happy you’ve made me now! As stupid as I am i had to google what mocks are (I’m ashamed of myself ehh), so I’m not a pro but I’ll try to give some advice:

active learning

For god’s sake please don’t just skim through the textbooks over and over again, it’s ridiculous and time-consuming. In the end the information won’t even stick to your brain, so don’t passively read and highlight, you are just wasting your time. Instead opt for active learning methods:

  • read and make your own notes
    ps. don’t just write down exactly like they are written in the textbooks, formulate them with your own words, and make them as compact as possible
  • research on the topics online; google is truly my bff if i want to go in-depth/don’t understand a topic
  • watch documentaries and youtube videos!! seriously the videos give you so much more simplified information in a short time!!
  • discuss the topics with your friends or mutuals who also are studying for mocks! 

prioritise 

Don’t study too much on your stronger areas, again you’re just wasting your time doing so. Focus on your weaker areas like e.g. math, chemistry, english lit(seems to be the subjects people have the most troubles with?). 

I would also suggest your to learn the basics properly first! Like why would you proceed to more complicated topics and manage them if you don’t handle the basics? I mean you’d be just wasting your time once again.

time management

Make a schedule for your studying! Collect all your study materials and try to calculate how much time you have left for your exams, choose the subjects you are going to focus more on and plan your times until the D-day. But please don’t be too optimistic and think you can handle studying 6 chapters of math and 5 chapters of chemistry in one day, that’s unrealistic. 

Also don’t think you can study 4 hours in one sitting and actually learn something, the information won’t “stick” you know? Maybe study for 30 minutes and then quickly revise for 5 minutes and go to the bathroom or down to the kitchen to fetch something to snack on! Repeat this maybe 3-4 times and take a long break where you meet friends or do something fun. Later that day you can study again but maybe not for so long as earlier!

Studying is important but don’t forget to live your life too!


studying shouldn’t be taking over your life

“Grades are important” 
“My parents are going to kill me”
”I’m such a failure”

Education is important, i agree, but unfortunately many students are studying under pressure. They have parents who demand good grades and want their children to study in a overly fancy university, or they are the students themselves who are the ones who except too much. An A and an A* would be amazing to get but for fuck’s sake B’s and C’s are good too. You shouldn’t be studying 24/7, even though the mocks are around the corner. Sleep, eat healthily, read books, spend a night watching Netflix even tho the books are waiting for you, exercise, do something stupid, procrastinate; don’t try to be an over achiever, be a human.



Eve Bennett has amazing tips for taking and studying for exams on her revision channel
I’ve hear great things about Christopher Thornton who explain’s common topics on his youtube channel

There a plenty of videos on youtube, just google a subject and insert “revision” and tons of videos will pop up!


I hope these helped you, or someone else, in some way!

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was to contact our families and tell them what happened to Sue. Their anguish was almost as deep as mine. 

Sue  used to kid me and say that I would not know what to do without her.

She was right. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I just want to clench my fists and scream at the world. I am sitting in our house, and besides our two dogs, I am alone. My family, and hers, are a 1000 miles away. Right now, the only thing that feels right is expressing myself to you all. 

I am hurting so fucking bad right now and I am so angry. I tried to pray earlier, to ask God what the fuck? It turned into a shouting match instead. 

I am so tired, but I am afraid to sleep. I am afraid my dreams will hurt too much. 

This week I cried in front of others three times:

first at a friend’s house, but not a friend I’m comfortable crying to, when I was confronted with extreme stress and fatigue;

next when I went to a personal training assessment and had to talk about a certain goal that was extremely sensitive and stemmed from a huge worry in my life;

third when a work mentor/trainer privately asked me (in front of my supervisor) about me being authentically me and what that means to me…? something like that?

I don’t know, man, the floodgates opened. My supervisor left the room and let the mentor try to therapize me and it just got worse and worse. I am not trying to do this shit at work; when people let me just *do my work* instead of asking me how I’m doing emotionally, I smile and skip and joke my way through…

I explained that it is personal-life stuff that is running me ragged and once she got that she said something about work being an escape. And yes, it’s true. When you’re giving everything you can give, when you have no control over the things you want to control, work is an escape.

Working in *child welfare* is an escape, if you can believe that. The dramas and stresses and tragedies of work are things I can let myself feel deeply and truly, and I will run on the hamster wheel all week long and feel valued and respected, and I have moments of true joy.

Work as distraction, avoidance, adrenaline, as the only thing I know I can count on.

Then tonight for a few minutes alone in my car I let myself think about a piece of the personal-stress pie and I small-scale cried but mostly yelled. I thought I’d learned a theory somewhere that anger is really a mask for something deeper (sadness? fear?), but to me I’ve always been comfortable with–or at least aware of–worry and fear and and sadness, while I’ve never really allowed myself to be angry. It is probably a good sign for my overall progress that I am crying more these days (though I hope it passes), but I think I’ll really have turned a corner when I can let go and get mad.

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. 
I come into the peace of wild things 
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
—  Wendell Berry - The Peace of Wild Things

MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS


JOKESSs, but seriously what the fuck. this looks pretty fucking burnt to me….. & this stuff is legit “glass” shard, icey & not buffed to shit, i had my doubts actually when i looked in the bag last 2 pick ups, because i am a total snob about my meth, but it was good dope & it melted down nice, beautiful crack back.

SO WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, DO I ALWAYS END UP WITH THIS COLOR? this was the last straw, do you see how much I got in there? Fuck.

I clean my pipes well enough, hot ass water, acetone soak, water again, then dry with air & sort of cloth thats not super linty. No torch cause it stinks like shit. My cleaning method might seems weird but im not concerned about taste or whatever (and im pretty damn sure that is not whats making my dope like this…?) i always have gum or a mint tucked in my cheek.

I dont hold my light to close or for a long time, i literally smoke gak all the time & ive watched veteran tweakers for years. Theres the odd time where im in a rush maybe that is what does it, but ok, what im wondering is my fucking dope actually burnt or just overheated or what is it? I still feel like im getting high, but not like a fresh bowl.

I know enough about jib but not that much, I’m not familiar with it when its burnt. fucking help meeee. This is gross to look at & i dont wanna waste.

Update..

So there has been alot of things going on in my life that I don’t talk about on here. I always want it to be a fun zone where I can forget about certain things in my life….

That being said…I am going to take a complete step back. I need to focus on me and my daughter. I love you all and you guys can tag me still. But I have to do what right and right now,I’m going to go.

I wish it wasn’t like this,My life has been super shitty lately and Tumblr was my escape. I can’t type anymore because I’ll start crying.

i love you all,
Liz 💜

11 facts about me...

tagged by the universe-unbalancing (seriously, woman? :p) @drgns8er ha! you do you, darling!

1. i like ice-cold drinks. i am perplexed whenever i visit the rogue, as ireland (and much of europe from what i gather) does not believe in ice in beverages. it makes me sad. he bought ice bags for me the last time i went…i was touched.

2. i spend time drawing things, and then throw them away because i think they look awful. (trust me, they do, i’m not good at drawing, but i like to try)

3. i met Nando Parrado at a conference i attended for work a few years ago, he was the keynote speaker and it was completely by chance that i was introduced to him…he was a very warm and pleasant man, but all i could think while he shook my hand was…”you ate people.”

4. i once had a boss who looked like Howdy Doody. i used to say Howdy to him whenever i saw him, and he thought i was just being friendly, but really it was because i thought he was doody, and it made me smile on the inside. (he really was crap. and NO, i’m not that old that i remember Howdy Doody! he was creepy and that kinda sticks with you…talking dolls? NO!)

5. i quote books, songs, movies a lot in everyday life…i’ve recently added Crowley quotes from Supernatural to the usual repertoire and my sister is so pleased (she’s a huge SPN-head)…but she’s a little concerned that i’m only quoting Crowley. ha.

6. i rate movies and television by their soundtracks…if the music sucks, i don’t care how great it is, it’s just not as great as it could have been. i appreciate the efforts of really good music supervisors and score composers. for me, the music is about as important as the story.

7. Johnny Rotten blew me a kiss in the Forum Shops at Caesar’s Palace once and i seriously love him for it. (sigh, the only Ginger i could ever truly love)

8. i want to live in a Wes Anderson world.

9. i like my steak bloody rare. walk it slowly through a warm room and it’s done. ok, sear it hard for a minute, then it’s done.

10. every time i’ve gone to NYC (only a handful) i’ve run into someone from my hometown, unintentionally. do you know how weird that is? a city of 8 million people and i am greeted by someone from a town of 20,000 almost 500 miles away. the universe is screwing with me, this is proof.

11. an ex-boyfriend’s dad collected and fixed old Jaguars as a hobby (nice hobby, right?) and he never let anyone drive them, especially his son. one day, his dad was going to see his parents (about an hour and a half away) and asked if we wanted to come and i said sure and then he asked if i wanted to drive one of the Jags and i said HELL YES! and my ex got soooo mad at me he didn’t talk to me the whole trip. i mean, come on, dude, be mad at your dad, there was no way i was going to say NO…it drove like an absolute dream. like steering a cloud across an endless sky….sigh.

leaving this tag open, if you want to drop some facts about yourself (not alternative ones, though, please) just say i tagged ya.

Maguuma Jungle - Brisban Wildlands - Watchful Source
Brenalynn: You’re an enigma. Tell me what you do. I’ll tell you who you are.
Thermaine: I am a warrior. Nature reveals the arts of war to me.
Brenalynn: You learn to deal death by watching life?
Thermaine: I am no placid gardener, no gentle guardian. Thorns bite, vines choke, and I kill.
Brenalynn: Your path is very different from mine.

I spend all day at work just wanting to go home and now that I am home Idk what to even do. Like do I read? Write? Watch something? Play a game? Sleep? Try and find some semblance of meaning in my life? Build a time machine and go forward in time to when I finally have a girlfriend? (Jokes on me… I’ll reach the apocalypse before I reach that point in time.)

Better Angels - Ch. 13

(Non-stealthy update)

Lena looked down at her phone and sighed. “Em says she’s tied up again. Told us not to worry about doing a delivery this time around.”

Amélie shrugged. “I suppose that is what life is like when you have a ‘real’ job.”

“Hah.” Looking up the way, she considered the options for lunch. “So, anything sound good to you? There’s the deli, tea shop’s got sandwiches, pub down the street has a patio…”

The sniper considered that. “I’d like to discuss something with you. Perhaps pick up from the deli and I can take us up from there?”

Lena grinned. “You know I am capable of getting up on a rooftop on my own. Seems to me I’ve chased you around that way once or twice.”

“Mm,” Amélie’s lips quirked up in a little smile, “but you will have your hands full with the food, and I find my way much more entertaining.”

“Oh, and I’m supposed to be the insatiable one,” Lena mock-grumbled as she turned down the street, “right, come on then.”

Amélie followed with a chuckle. “In fairness we have yet to test the limits of our endurance, chérie. ”

Lena was reasonably sure her ears were burning red enough to be used as navigation beacons.

Once they reached a rooftop that gave them a good view of Emily’s building, Lena divvied up the drinks, sandwiches, and salads from the bag before following back around to the earlier topic. “So, what would you like to talk about?”

anonymous asked:

your recolours literally give me life <3, seriously, i think i have every single one of them in my game. thank you so much and i can't wait to see what you do next!!!

Originally posted by ottokaji-vixx

you are precious tysm ❤

also whAt am i doing next ????? can s0meone give me s0me guidAnce please

Why do I feel so different? When others look at me, they see a person. But when I look at myself, I see a monster. I try to warn others of mt beastly nature, they do not believe. They think I am no threat, that I could never hurt someone, that I am no monster. They say this till they see the beast for themselves. Once they see what the monster, they fer me or hate me.

Some times my rage gets the best of me, and lash out at people because of my rage. I don’t mean to, I do what I can to mind my temper. I can’t help being violent, I don’t always control my temper, and I always have the desire to destroy.

But I still have a heart, I still have a soul. I think and feel like anyone else. I strive to live and enjoy life. I want love and companionship,  I want to feel like I belong to feel like I mean something. I  can be loving and a friend if given the chance. All I want is a chance to prove that I can.

But why even try anymore, all anyone see is a monster. All I ever see is a monster, all I feel like is a monster. I have done awful things, I’ve hurt many people. I am monster, there is no changing that.

If you choose to near me, may you be warned. I am a beast, I have and can hurt you. I don’t always mean to. I am wild and dangerous,I will tell you to go seek some one else. If you choose to be near me, you might just regret it in the end.