WHAT AM I DOING

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Jaylos has the "bird and bee talk" and it is awkward as hell

Sorry it’s late! I’ve started school

The Beasts and the Dogs
Adam never thought he would have to do this. He never had to do this as the King and he sure as hell never thought he would be stuck doing this as Headmaster of Auradon Prep. But here he was! Where was he you might ask?
Well it all started when world got out that Jay and Carlos De Vil were now an official couple. And Adam knew what kind of curriculum was taught at the Isle okay! He knew how shitty it could be sometimes and he knew that maybe, possibly, perhaps neither boy knew anything about sex. But he also knew they must know SOMETHING otherwise there wouldn’t be so many people on that blasted Isle.
He called the boys into the office and in two bowls in front of him sat lubes and condoms. The condoms ranged in sizes and flavours and the lubes only ranged in colour and flavour. None were water based. Both boys flushed at the sight of the bowls and Carlos buried his head in his hands while Jay tried to maintain a confident attitude. “What’s up headmaster?” Both boys knew what was coming but neither thought Adam would be stuck doing it! Maybe Prince Philip or Charming, who were known for their less then heterosexual tendencies.
“Boys, it has come to our attention that you two are in a new relationship and it’s important that you two understand the sexual nature of an intimate relationship” Adam tried to use his most kingly voice but he could feel himself sweat in his suit jacket. “Now tell me what you know”
“Well we know that Carlos can’t get pregnant if we do it. We know that neither of us have a vagina and our only option is well you know” Jay let out quickly.
“Okay. Do you know about preparation and lube? How about sexually transmitted diseases and the importance of condom usage?”
“Um no?” Carlos answered
“Well alright” Adam took out a banana and instructed Carlos to open up a condom and put it on.
“But Jay’s way bigger than this! And none of these condoms would fit” Jay choked and shifted in his seat. Adam didn’t know what to say! There were large condoms in that bowl! What do you mean none would fit?! Well at least Adam knows who the bottom is…“Why would we need condoms? We’ve only ever been with each other?” Jay choked once more and his eyes shifted guiltily to Carlos and the bowl of condoms.
“There’s your answer Carlos! Now, in light of this new information I suggest that you both get tested and if you both come out clean its up to you to use a condom or not” Adam tugged at his collar; he was afraid of the Carlos’s reaction to Jay’s revelation.
Carlos was sadden that he was not Jay’s first but he made up his mind to be Jay’s last.
“Now, moving on to lube and prep. It is important to never rely on water-based lube or water as lube. Water dries out and it may hurt Carlos. Also since Jay’s size is much larger, the prep needed for Carlos may take longer then expected. ” Adam did not need to know that Jay was hung. But he was tempted to find out if the boys size was larger then his own. “If you do need larger condoms however…” Adam stood and moved toward his desk, opening the drawers he took out a box of XXL condoms and handed them to an extremely embarrassed Carlos.
“…thank you?… I um, I have a questions”
Oh boy “Of course go ahead!”
“I um, sometimes I want to call Jay Daddy? Is that normal?” This time it was Adam who choked! He did not need to know that Carlos wanted to call Jay Daddy! And judging by Jay’s surprised but aroused look he was fine with the new revelation.
“It’s um perfectly normal! There are many types of sexual situation you two can explore but it is important that you discuss and determine what one another is comfortable with. I can get you some book on things like that if you’d like?” Adam offered. Hoping that they would say no. Jay looked prepared to turn down the offer but Carlos quickly agreed and thanked Adam. “Um of course, live to serve and all that. Uh you may go back to your dorms! If you have anymore questions ask um.. ask.. ask Belle! Yes, ask Belle, she’ll be happy to help!” Adam let out a sigh of relief as the boys stood and left. “If I ever have to do this again I will cry!”
“Uh headmaster?” Doug suddenly appeared at the door way. “Fairy godmother sent Chad and I here to speak with you? Something about the talk”
Adams head dropped into his hands.
Fuck.

movie nights with bestfriend!luke would include:
  • taking turns picking the movie
  • “what’re you doing it’s my turn to pick the movie”
  • but we watched that last time
  • him giving into your choice of movie “just because i love you”
  • “awwwwwww lukey you love meeeeeeee”
  • him getting all flustered when he realizes what he just said
  • you teasing him for well over an hour
  • him always being on popcorn duty
  • getting settled on the couch with him at the very end of the it and your head in his lap while you lie down
  • him feeding you popcorn and you feeding him :(((
  • giggling when the popcorn doesn’t get into each others’ mouths
  • “luke you’re getting popcorn in my hair”
  • “oh shit, sorry sweetie” while trying to pick out the bits and pieces
  • cuddling up to him later on in the movie
  • ^^your arms around his waist while you sit on his lap with your head tucked beneath his chin
  • you falling asleep near the end
  • “i know you can’t hear me, but fuck you look really cute right now”
  • him smiling fondly at you while debating whether or not to just fall asleep on the couch
  • him carrying you up to his room so you can both be more comfortable
  • “go back to sleep. i’ve got you” :’(
  • him finally setting you down and tucking you in and getting into bed after
  • you scooting over to his side to bury your head into his chest
  • him letting out a sigh of contentment as he falls asleep with you wrapped up securely in his arms :-(