Title:Because the Night Fandom:Harry Potter Ship: Parvati/Lavender Word Count: 486 Rating: PG Summary: Set at Hogwarts during Deathly Hallows. Parvati and Lavender have a close call. A/N: I didn’t especially want to repeat fandoms so soon but, ah, well. This was an idea that was shippier in my head than on paper, honestly, but I hope you’ll accept in the spirit in which it was intended. Might edit a bit later, this was another ending that fought me.
They ran as quickly and as quietly as they could, their trembling fingers twined tight together. Their pursuer– Crabbe, Parvati thought, it was definitely Crabbe, oh, Merlin– wasn’t far behind; they couldn’t see him, but they could hear him, one footfall pounding after another, coming closer. Lavender choked on a sob and stumbled, scrambling to stay upright.
You didn’t deserve any of what happened the other day. You shouldnt have been told you were just a good fuck. Especially so soon after what Marley did to you.
I also should have listened to you when you told me not to go after revenge on Marley. I Need to control my temper.
Your more than a good fuck and you’re someone who should be listened to. Youre a good friend and youre very smart. So forgiving and loving. Youre motherly and caring. Im so sorry for what happened. I did defend Marley when you were choking him but if i had arrived and he were hurting you i would have stopped him as well.
All the nasty things i said about you both being dead to me, i had hoped that would take me out of the equation so you two would stop fighting. I want my son to have a happy and healthy mother.
You ask why i can’t love him as much as i love you, i chase him and obsess over him just as much. You two just can’t see it because he chose to stay. I can’t leave him the same as i still struggle being away from you.
I really hate that we probably arent friends anymore and probably cant be again. I didnt mean to ruin what we had.
I had every intent of hurting Marley for you but then i gave in to him. I love him. I gave him his memories back and all would have been okay. Then he said he was obsessed with me. I love Marley but im obsessed with you. Absolutely obsessed. I hate it. I wish i could just be a normal friend.
This was all my fault and not a bit yours. You never should have been subjected to any of that.
Im not going to ask forgiveness or for you to accept my apology. I wanted to know you are more than a good fuck. Caden will be punished for what he said about Sydney. He is a kid so i wont fuck him up but there will be punishment. I swear. Im sorry i cant say the same for Marley. I tried so hard with him. Im sorry for all of this.
Ill still help with Sydney and i dont think i would want anyone else to be raising my son.
Im sorry for everything.
*love is written but crossed out*
Against tangled limbs and torn up skin
Good gods how naughty
And my stomach is sick because the thought of your lips on mine
I have to stay alive somehow don’t I
Well if living is hoping then is hoping surviving
Because I have enough hope that some day things will be good enough that I’m good enough for you and your kiss
But it’s driving me insane because I choked on communion thinking of your skin and heart and chest and the way you laid on the floor as the sharpie inked your back
I’m a walking panic attack I can’t take back my rhymes or poems and can’t cover them up when my very existence is a web of lies upon lies
And I have a tendency to only show things through my cheesecloth eyes sewn with the thread of love that never happened and the pain of a thousand bittersweet kisses
The ones that sting and soothe at the same time and leave nothing to hide
I was ready to give you a world if you believed I had the world to give
Because we’re repeating the same mess as if the outcome will somehow be different
If I drew the things that interesed you would they have made you stay?
Because I’m intrigued by the movements of your wrists and the things you have to say
But without you to turn on the lights night is melting into day
I have nothing left but words I couldn’t bring myself to write because I was hearing them wrong and I imagined you behind the pen
So I threw away my papers and ink and prayed for somethig to end my existence instead
Without you I had nothing left to live for so I might as well have been dead because I kept dreaming of you as I lied in the filth that was my bed
Why wont you get out of my head?
You’re not one to look at the beauty of a sunset but you appreciate the beauty of my body stretched out on a mattress
But in the end im feeling like i matter less and less
And even though i only get gentle touch when my body is pressed against yours in the heat of your hands
And I love you
And I’m sorry
Because you were always better at this
Leaving it all behind and running away like you did
But I still love you
I’ll always love you
And I’m sorry
I resent you.
I hate the ground which festers beneath each step you take.
I hope you cry out in anguish.
Everything hurts. I hope your body aches too.
I hope you hate yourself, hope you lose sleep over the things we did wrong.
You force the person you want me to be down my throat.
I’m choking on a handful of what you want and you smile. You laugh while I’m drowning.
Laugh and shrug it off.
I never thought someone could care too much and I fucking hate yousofuckingmuchyoufuckingasshole but
I hope you make it home safely.
I hope you don’t get any nosebleeds.
I hope you keep your voice.
I hope the nightmares stay away, sleep well, eat well
Don’t punish yourself; don’t blame yourself for anything.
Please be okay.
Please please just please be okay
Well, so I met up with Ben, my best friend and brother of twenty years. Wow, I was not emotionally ready for that meetup. A lot was said. Some things pertaining to my situation, and some regarding how my friend is these days. That was a heavy conversation where we both got choked up. But my friend, as usual, imparted a new prediction and some valuable advice.
So first, I found out why he is so invested in what goes on with me. It’s what I already suspected, but it makes it no less sad. “Hey Mario, at least one of us deserves a happy life”. I mean, holy shit, how do you even RESPOND to that? I spent almost an hour trying to cheer him and convince him that it’s not hopeless and not too late for him. But he was more interested in what was going on with me. I feel awful. My closest best friends are just shells of who they once were, and I don’t know what to do. But, it seems that helping me out keeps him occupied with something, so I caught him up to speed on everything. He just sort of chuckled and smirked. He knew how things were going to play out, because of course he did. Then he gave a new prediction. And it made so much sense. Either I (and I quote) “was going to be soothed by the waters of success or drowned by the tidal waves of heartbreak”. And that I would ultimately determine where it would go. Basically.
At this point I was in shock, but I picked up on what he said. I dreaded the possible answer, but I asked if he meant to use water themed metaphors. He just responded by saying “she’s a water sign isn’t she?”. Even more in shock since I never mentioned that, I asked him how he knew and what does that have to do with anything. Again staring directly at me, he laughed and said, “think about this, when was the last time you had such strong feelings for someone? Who was it? You tell me that and you will get why you are driven to not screw this one up”. We both said the same answer, a name, at the same time. And he was right, it all hit me. I was in stunned silence. I took a shot. Obviously, I have dated and been in relationships before. I mean, it’s not like I purposely tried to half ass any of them or make them fail. But here is someone that I find to be worth putting my best and full effort here. I really do not want to screw this up nor botch the existing friendship I already have. Her character, her looks, her hobbies, her outlook on life. It’s just…wow. And Ben, he was right. The last time I felt this way, was several years ago with someone else. The difference is that I was a selfish insufferable little shit, and it was the heartbreak with that person that was catalyst that pushed me to get my shit together. To change. I also recognize that I was not ready for the kind of relationship I’m seeking now. But yes, it all hits me like a sack of bricks. Of course it had to be Ben who drew out the last pieces of the puzzle as to what my reasons for giving this a shot are. There’s more to it of course, but this is a big part that I didn’t even notice until it was spelled out to me.
So, after that, he asked me if she knows how I feel and my plans, intentions etc. I told him that she is incredibly perceptive and that I think she knows. He stared at me again and said “ you THINK she knows or do you KNOW she does?” At first, I’m not sure what he means. She knows what I’m feeling before I fully know, like how Ben knows what I’m thinking before I think about them. Kind of frustrating when your crush and best friend seem to be a few steps ahead of you. Kind of a kick to the ego when you thought you were slick and ahead of the curve all these years lol. Anyway, he told me straight up that instead of giving her the cliff’s notes/analytical version, to stop being a coward and just go with your heart. Some straight talk there lol. So that I would have an actual thing to say, he asked what I was feeling about her and how I wanted to proceed. We spoke for a while about that, until I did have a plan. I now know what to say and have a plan on how to go forward. I just hope I can get it across the next time we talk, and nothing comes up for either one of us. Afterwards, we knocked glasses and drank. We spoke about some random topics. Before we broke off, he wished me the best, and genuinely wanted me to be happy. I responded that it’s not too late for him, and that I’m glad to have him as a friend. Even after two decades, he knows me so well and still has my back. That means a lot to me these days. It’s a good thing, you know, to have friends like him. He seriously helped me spell this situation out for me and in turn gave me the clarity I’ve been seeking for a while. So, let’s see how things goes. Hope, I’m so glad I still have after all this time.