W

She was there, the girl they called ugly, the girl they say she doesn’t matter, the girl who made the world like she doesn’t exist. Look at her. She was there, standing at her own rain, washing herself with tears. She did everything, pleased everyone. But what she got? Nothing. Rejection.

She was there, the girl they wish to die, standing and wishing that she would disappear. The world made her, into something not meant to be. She’s harmed, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. She wanted to be gone because she believed what other’s said. She doesn’t matter, loved, cared. She’s just a piece of trash.

I don’t know what’s on her mind right now. But I’m afraid of the things she can do. Mixed up emotions, messed up thoughts. A perfect combination for self destruction. Look at her, not looking at you, because she doesn’t want to be seen as weak, vulnerable. She tried to be strong, but she can’t.

She was there, the girl who was once alone, risked herself in the company of others. Made friends. Loved. But in the end, she was right. Anyone, even the ones you trust will hurt you. Badly. She was there, fading along with the rain, washing her away slowly. I was going to save her.

But it was too late.

I was wrong leaving you. I still love you. I want you to come back. I thought we could be friends but, my feelings aren’t meant for that. I still love the way you smile, the way you laugh. Though everything is different now, because in your eyes, I’m just a friend. We were once lovers who parted, trying not to cut what we have because it’s so precious to forget. I can’t. I can’t stand here and watch you with some other man. I can’t accept the fact that you are somewhere better now. It hurts, much more than we broke up. Why can’t we be, in each other’s arms again? Do you love me no more? I promise I would change, anything for you. Getting you out of my system is like committing suicide, taking out life from my body. We once shared each other, and now everything we once do, you’re doing it with someone else. Please. Say anything. I still love you.
—  friends can be lovers. lovers can’t be friends // Jin