One day men are gonna be putting flowers in their hair and theyre gonna speak softly and be comfortable with open displays of affection for one another and they’re still gonna be violently oppressing and dominating women :+)
“Isn’t it time to acknowledge the ugly side? I’ve grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains. Not ill-tempered women who scheme about landing good men and better shoes (as if we had nothing more interesting to war over), not chilly WASP mothers (emotionally distant isn’t necessarily evil), not soapy vixens (merely bitchy doesn’t qualify either). I’m talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Don’t tell me you don’t know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.”
as much as i love hot, killer women… i dont like the femme fatale trope. like, it’s almost always geared toward men, and the strange fetishization of ultra-feminine, ultra-sexualized, ultra-violent women is just uncomfortable. women aren’t allowed to be angry unless it’s sexy.
ive kind of already said this but I’m gonna be more clear and direct (and yes, this is ok to reblog):
trans men and mlm need to be proactive in calling out misogyny in our online communities because right now it is a) running completely rampant and b) escalating. we need to make it clear (especially to teenagers who are still figuring out what’s “normal”/acceptable behavior) that things like:
talking down to women (yes, even if they disagree with you or are wrong about a mlm issue)
being verbally violent and aggressive towards women (yes! even if they disagree with you or are wrong!! even about a mlm issue!!!!)
using misogynist slurs (^^^^^^)
displaying blatant hatred and contempt for women as a group (^^^^^^!!!!)
are completely 100% unacceptable and aren’t going to fly in our supposedly anti-bigotry online spaces. because right now I’m seeing those behaviors on a weekly basis and I’m not seeing them checked or reprimanded in any way
if we actually give a shit about women and want to be better than the cishet men we constantly position ourselves as more enlightened than, we need to shut this stuff down when we see it. it isn’t harmless, it isn’t excusable because we’re trans/not straight, and it isn’t OK.
What frightens me about the men I know is that I know men are so good at compartmentalizing and creating public and private selves. I don’t think there’s a single man I know, including gay men, including men I love, including men in my own family, who I don’t fear might secretly be doing some horrific shit on the internet. I’ve just read too many stories about women who were happily married for years before they found out their husbands’ abusive online habits.
I’ve often joked with my friends about how me using the internet in front of other people (like in a class) is “taking a walk on the wild side” because the might see my search history, but I just want to clarify: when I say that my search history is private and might be embarassing, I meant, “I look up geeky, uncool things like fanfiction and I spend too much time reading celebrity gossip blogs and looking at Pinterest shit,” not embarassing as in the male sense of “My search history would reveal that I send violent, abusive threats to women online and watch rape porn.” My private self is maybe less cool than my public self, but it isn’t so dramatically different that my ethics would be called into question if my search history were to be made public.
Ted Bundy: Dropped out of law school several times, never held a job for very long, was rejected by most of the law schools to which he applied due to mediocre LSAT scores and unimpressive (B average) grades, signed his own death warrant by rejecting a guilty plea.
Jeffrey Dahmer: No friends, no boyfriends, barely made it through high school and flunked out of college after a semester, was discharged from the army before completing his tour of duty due to alcoholism, held menial jobs his entire life, was eventually fired from his menial jobs, lived in a shithole apartment in a bad area of Milwaukee, was evicted from said shithole apartment, was a severe alcoholic, was at one point homeless and sleeping on the beach in Florida shortly after his army discharge, lived with his grandmother for years.
Richard Ramirez: No jobs his entire adult life? Addicted to cocaine, held no steady place of residence, no close friends, no girlfriends, had awful teeth, only experienced sex with women he violently coerced into the act, smelled terrible
Ed Kemper: No close friends or girlfriends, only experienced sexual intercourse with corpses, lived with his mother, held only menial jobs.
*writes songs comparing his ex to the devil and telling her to go to hell and how he would've violently died for her*
*Writes songs saying he'll never get over his ex at least 2-3 years after they broke up and another one accusing a woman of cheating on him when she says she thought he was a one night stand and never actually committed to him*
*writes a song about being possessive of his girlfriend to the point of rage and wanting to control her sexuality*
*opens one of his songs with saying that if your girlfriend goes to the opening game of a basketball season then she must be fucking one of the players and writes a song saying that his ex shouldn't be having fun or have her own sexuality and should be still upset over him leaving her and how this doesn't make her a "good" girl*
*writes songs about how women are his objects, how he's god, description of being violent to women, accusing all women of being gold diggers and evil, and how women owe him sex because he was rude to them and how he thinks they'd wouldn't have been successful if he hadn't been rude to them*
*writes songs expressing regret for having dated someone and blames herself for not following her own advice*
Thiiisss...BITCH!!! This WHORE!!! SHe is the WOrST thing to HAVE EVER HAPPENED!!! WHAT A FAKE ASS BITCH!! She needs to move on and stop being such a slut!!
stop acting like girls are flawless and perfect and can do no harm just because they happen to be girls. stop it. this helps no one and creates a false image of purity that makes people less likely to take violence committed by women seriously.
women can be dangerous and violent too. women can be mean. women can be offensive and say things that hurt people. women can also be kind and funny, and women can be good lovers and good friends.
women are people. not ethereal beings. stop acting otherwise
on another note stop acting like boys are gross and ugly and are all the same khaki-shorts-and-polo-shirts vanilla shortbread frat boys, some boys are mentally ill and some are gay and some are black and latino and asian, boys are just as diverse and just as much people worth loving as girls are.
i dont wanna stir shit up but i rly think that like trans masc and dfab nb people need to stop making these graphically violent posts about terfs on behalf of trans women bc i know that its like well-intentioned but trans women face all the backlash for those messages 100% of the time and they constantly get passed around as “evidence” that trans women are violent… idk it’s something to keep in mind i guess
Every time I’ve written about women fearing male violence, especially in reaction to women rejecting men, someone decides to dig up every case they can find of women being violent toward men, ignoring the fact most men do not change their daily routine or actions based on the threat of violence against men. No feminist is arguing women are incapable of violence toward men, but you shouldn’t be disingenuous and make false equivalences. You’d be hard pressed to find a man who makes decisions about the route he takes home from work, how he interacts with female strangers, what he wears, the speed and nature of his stride, his body language etc in public based on fear of violence from women, but the majority of women you talk to have done or regularly do all these things, especially at night.
The reason you see this difference has to do with the prevalence of male violence against women and how it is used as a tool of control, which isn’t the case of female violence against men.
It’s because girls are taught we deserve to be mistreated and abuse is love.
It’s because I had rocks thrown at me when I was a little girl with skinny legs, with blood streaming down my face, leaving a scar that stays with me to this day, and I was told “he does that because he likes you!”
It’s because so-called “love” stories, all over, everywhere, tell women that the man who obsesses over them, controls them, and abuses them is the one who loves them.
It’s because genuinely good men (not Nice Guys™ who think women owe them sex for basic human decency) are desexualized and sidelined because they don’t conform to the ideals of domineering, entitled, violent masculinity.
It’s because women are told they are responsible for fixing men with the power of their love, that women are selfish if they don’t offer their emotional labor and bodies to men who demand it.
It’s because women are told we should revolve around men, their success, their self-realization, their redemption, because we are not our own persons but accessories in others’ lives.
It’s because women and girls don’t get the space to see themselves cherished and treated as equals in relationships, and instead are bombarded with messages that we are milestones in men’s stories, their rewards, their conquests.
It’s because we’re not taught to say “no,” we’re taught to smile and accommodate and let them down gently and give and give and give and ask for nothing back.
It’s because we are blamed for the wrongs committed by men, because men can do no wrong and we must be tempting them to evil.
It’s because if we speak out we are called names and barraged with threats, because we must be silent, silent and smiling and sweet and we are not allowed to scream when we are hurt.
Because he likes you.
It’s because women are not treated as human beings. It’s because we’re taught to swallow the message that we are less, and we are taught to like it.
I’ve grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains. Not ill-tempered women who scheme about landing good men and better shoes (as if we had nothing more interesting to war over), not chilly WASP mothers (emotionally distant isn’t necessarily evil), not soapy vixens (merely bitchy doesn’t qualify either). I’m talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Don’t tell me you don’t know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves - to the point of almost parodic encouragement - we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. - Gillian Flynn
Things brown/south asian tumblr will probably never address:
Antiblackness that actually involves the input of black south
asians & black people in general
Ignoring the fact that South Asia is comprised of 8
countries: Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Bhutan, India, Maldives,
and Sri Lanka.
Lack or complete ignorance of north east indian culture and
Cultural hegemony India tends to have over representing South Asia
Discussion of caste which doesn’t reduce it down to an old practice that doesn’t actively shape an individual’s life in a variety of ways that are not exclusive to socioeconomic struggles.
How the discussion of the South Asian diaspora focuses
mainly on those living in the West.
Steve McCurry making a name for himself off of the
exploitation and exotification of South Asian faces and bodies (see: Sharbat Gula: known globally merely as “The Afghan Girl”
Ignorance of the issues Adivasi peoples face across South
Exploitation of the bodies of South Asian women for
surrogacy by Westerners.
Savarna appropriation of Avarna arts redeeming it anew with
culture now that it’s been mutilated by forward castes. (ie: Appropriation of Sadir into modern day Bharatnatyam)
The creation of good and bad brown/south asian dichotomy in the West Post 9/11 (ie: Indian peoples are characterized/seen as intelligent spiritual peaceful people while Pakistani and Afghani peoples are characterized/seen as violent terrorists or oppressed women who are labeled under islamophobic terms such as “radical muslim”
The lack of discussion about the South Asian diaspora in the
Caribbean and South America.
Discrimination against Black African students living in
Portrayal of Hinduism & Buddhism as peaceful religions while Islam is portrayed as violent and backwards.
Complete ignorance or writing off of Southern & Northeast Indian cultures by North Indians and Northern South Asians alike as not being authentically Indian or only discussing it when talking about the different regions of India.
How Bollywood has stolen, appropriated, and made racist
caricatures of Indians and Non-Indians who are not Savarna North Indians. (See: Chennai Express, blackface meant to represent native Hawaiian peoples seen in the Hawa Hawai song in Mr. India, Shekhar Kapur’s Bandit Queen, etc)
Misogyny and sexual violence against Dalit women.
Erasure of brown skin in South Asian media, replacing brown skinned South Asian women with extremely light skinned South Asian or white women calling them the ideal faces of South Asian womanhood and beauty.
Summary: A modern-day University AU, from the A Court of Thorns and Roses universe. All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas. The idea for this fanfic hailed from prompts sent in by Anonymous, and @queen-archeron. You can read previous chapters here.
Author’s Note: I know it’s not Tuesday, but here is a surprise chapter. :)
Feyre didn’t go back to the frat house. She went to her
dorm. And when she walked in, and Mor gasped, and Amren froze, she instantly
They didn’t ask questions, though. They didn’t say anything
as Feyre walked to her bed, and lied down, facing the wall. They didn’t say
anything as Mor approached, and hoisted herself up on Amren’s bunk so that she
could reach Feyre, and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. They didn’t say
anything as Amren took a blanket off her bunk, and tossed it up to Feyre on the
They didn’t say anything as Feyre’s body shook with silent
They let the time pass, as her roommates stood there with
her in quiet support.
It wasn’t until Feyre stopped crying, and wiped her eyes,
that Mor said, “Let us help you.”
Feyre was prepared to defend herself, but she didn’t. She
was tired. She was so, so tired. So, instead, she asked, “Why?”
Mor knew what she meant, she didn’t need to ask for an explanation.
“Because I know how it feels. And no one deserves to feel the way you feel
When Feyre didn’t say anything, Amren did. “It’s okay to be
Feyre was. She was terrified. She wanted to get away, but
she didn’t know how. She didn’t know how to just walk away. She didn’t know how
things had gotten so bad, so confusing between her and Tamlin. She didn’t know
how he would react if she stood up for herself, didn’t remember how to stand up for herself.
And that scared her.
“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Mor asked, quietly.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I only want to help, and I know
sometimes it feels better to get it out.”
Feyre took a deep breath before closing her eyes. “I told
him. That Rhys and I were working on a project together. I told him that I
would be going to his apartment, although I neglected to mention that I’ve
already gone…..I told him that the project meant a lot to me, and it meant that
I was actually getting motivated to paint again. Then, he told me to tell my
professor that I need a new partner. And I told him no. I told Tamlin no. We
started fighting. It didn’t take him long to lose control. Rage consumed him,
and I got in the way.”
“You didn’t get in the way,” Amren replied, quickly. Her
voice was hard, but Feyre knew it wasn’t directed at her. “Don’t blame
yourself. Men who place their hands violently on women are the ones we blame,
not the victims.”
The victims. She
was a victim.
She couldn’t remember how she got there. How she fell so
deeply into the pit.
“What do I do now?” Feyre asked, after a while.
As if on que, her phone began to vibrate. Tamlin. He was
going to apologize, going to ask her to come over, gong to ask her to forgive
Mor smiled, and brushed a strand of hair behind Feyre’s ear.
“Stay with us. We can watch a movie, or we can just talk. Or, if you want, we
can just turn off the lights and go to sleep. It’s up to you.”