Vending machine

Refund

“Hey, the vending machine ate my dollar.”
“Ah, sorry. We don’t do refunds.
“Dang!”
“But you can buy a snack through me.”
“Hmm, okay. I’ll take some chips.”
“$1 please.”
“Here you are.”
“Yummy. Thank you.”
“Hey! You just ate my dollar!”
“Sorry. No refunds.”
“I want to talk to your manager!”
“Okay. Nick! Some gay guy wants to talk to you.”
“Hey! I’m not gay!”
“Okay. Nick! Some homophobe wants to talk to you.”
“Hey! I’m not a homophobe!”
“Okay. Nick! Some bitch wants to talk to you.”
“Thank you,” said the bitch.
Nick never came. He was busy giving his spider a haircut. But, really, when wasn’t he?

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I would spend my entire life savings on one of these if they exsisted in the UK

There’s a vending machine in France that gives out free short stories instead of junk food. French publishing company Short Édition’s machines print out 1, 3, and 5-minute stories at the touch of a button so people will be encouraged to enrich their minds while waiting around instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media on their phones. Source Source 2