The United Nations of America

One day, a young man woke up and looked at himself in the mirror and just said to himself, “bro.” Last night, he had a wild and incredible dream. It was a dream about the United States of America. It revolved around this crazy idea that America was a collection of states that were united in such a way that the bros of those states could go anywhere they wanted and do whatever they wanted. If a bro wanted to go to the University of Iowa and start a new life, he damn well could. No matter where this bro wanted to go, he could. It’s America, the land of the free, and they home of the brave, remember? However, upon waking up, this bro realized just how wrong he was. Rather than going wherever he wanted and following his dreams, a bro did exactly what every other bro across America did—come to their senses and realize that America wasn’t free. 

In fact, this bro realized that not only was America not free, it wasn’t even the United States—it was just this collection of nations that had no unity between them, and punished their bros for thinking that they could go anywhere or do anything. The cold reality set in to this bro that he should stay where he was, and just go to college where he lives, because it was cheaper and more affordable, rather than going wherever he wanted to hand living out his dreams. The bro reasoned that America was no longer the land of freedom and opportunity, but instead the land of broken dreams and greed. Going to college in Iowa would mean paying out-of-state tuition, which averaged four times as much as in state tuition where he lived. The bro realize that he had a few choices. The first choice was to be imprisoned where he was, and sacrifice his lifelong dream to go to college in Iowa and live the dream. The second choice was to just go to Iowa, and take out student loans, and rack up almost $160,000 in student loans just from the out of state tuition. The bro tried to think about a way to justify the extreme cost of following his dream. With a job that paid $80,000 a year, the bro realized it would take him almost 2 and a half years just to pay back the out of state tuition, assuming he wasn’t paying for living costs, he didn’t have any bills, he never went out and ate with friends or had a drink every now and then. If the bro had saved every last cent of that $80,000, he would be able to pay his debt back in almost three years. However, he realized that it wasn’t a perfect world, and that there would be no way he would land a job paying $80,000 a year right after getting out of college, nor would it be realistic to believe he would have no bills and free housing. It became apparent to the bro that it would take 10-30 years just to pay back those loans it became apparent to the bro that it would take 10-30 years just to pay back those loans. Think about that for one moment. This bro just wanted to go to college in another state, in the United States of America, and it would cost him 30 years of paying back student loans. On the other hand, the bro could go to college in state, and pay only $36,000 for his entire college education. The bro was in complete disbelief, his mind blown at the disparity between the in-state and out-of-state cost of getting an education.

So the bro got to thinking… If America was really the home of the free, why would they make it so expensive to get an education, or to go somewhere else within their own nation? The bro began to wonder, and wondered if the United Kingdom punished its bros for wanting to go to college somewhere far away from home, or punished its bros for wanting to move somewhere else. Not The United Kingdom, nor Germany, nor anywhere in Europe punished its bros for having a dream, and wanting to achieve that dream. Only America continually made it harder and harder on its bros. The bro also realize that the colleges were suffering. He knew that college professors were paid extremely generously, and the so-called “not for profit” universities we’re actually taking in an extreme amount of money from out of state tuition. Some college presidents get paid upwards of $200,000 a year, and for what? What is the reason for these excessive cost of education in America? Not only is it because the ones that run the colleges are greedy, but because America isn’t free.

The reality was clear… America was no longer the United States. It was instead, the United Nations. It was 50 individual nations, all imposing very strict sanctions against each other to discourage education, to discourage freedom of choice in terms of colleges, and to discourage freedom in general. Getting paid upwards of $200,000 a year, these university president has to know what they’re doing, right? They know exactly what they’re doing. They are eliminating the freedom of choice in America, so everyone is either completely broke from getting an education, or they are stripped of their freedom of choice, because no one in their right mind would want to pay back student loans for the next 30 years of their life when they could pay it back in only three years if they stay where they are.