If you are reading this, I’m gonna assume you’re a teenage boy. You are probably within three years of the age fourteen and want to find someone to talk to and hug and snuggle with. I don’t blame you. Relationships are awesome, if you know how to make them awesome. But first you have to get into one. That’s the hard part. Hopefully these help.
1. Don’t be too desperate.
You can’t be looking for a girlfriend just for the sake of having a girlfriend. You have to genuinely like the the girl. Be friends with her first and don’t be perusing for others. If it’s meant to work out, you will pass the friend zone. Don’t worry about that.
2. Be chivalrous.
Chivalry is not dead! Girls like guys who do little things like open doors and use “ladies first.” But don’t mistake that for weakness on the girl’s side, Girls like to defy expectations. If they say “No thank you” to your help, it may just be because they can do it alone and don’t want to be that petty bitch who has guys do all the work. (I hate those girls…can you tell?)
3. Have kindness.
Some guys (not all…douchebags mostly) do this idiotic thing where they make fun of the girl they like. Just like guys, girls can be insecure. Give girls compliments (try to stick to personality and not appearance, too) instead of put downs, even if you are joking. Only poke fun at her if you can really read the situation and can 100% tell she is okay with it. (Even then, you are kind of at risk. Girls, like all people, don’t like to show insecurity. It’s a sign of weakness to some.) And, chances are, if she likes you (WHICH YOU WANT!), she will be insecure around you and overthink every little comment you make. That being said, don’t turn into a fuckboy. Don’t shower her in compliments when she clearly isn’t into you. That’s just sad.
4. Very few guys actually know how to read girls!
THIS IS IMPORTANT. THIS IS WHY I AM WRITING THIS LIST. No matter how much you may want to, do not use your friend’s advice without passing it by a girl first. The teenage male and female minds are very different. What guys may think is romantic and sweet, a girl may find creepy. Get someone of the opposite sex that you trust to tell you what you’re doing wrong and right.
5. However…not every girl is the same.
We all have different tastes. This list is very personal to me, so all these tricks may not work. This is what I suggest. I have no clue what that chick across the school whose name I don’t even know likes. Just saying. I can help generally, but not specifically.
6. Dress nicely.
Personally, I like a little effort. Do your fair, wear a collared shirt once in a while, etc. Look nice. Follow basic style rules. (No stripes and plaid, no white socks with black shoes–or maybe just in general, match your shoes and your belt if needed, etc.) But that doesn’t mean you have to totally redo your wardrobe.
7. Be yourself.
That leads me to my next idea. Don’t you dare change for a girl! If she doesn’t accept you for who you are, she isn’t worth it. She shouldn’t force you to do anything (and vice versa…). Now, once you’re in a relationship, she may be the one to “wear the pants.” Be fine with that. But that’s a totally different list. Basically, if she accepts you and you accept her wholeheartedly, it’ll all be good.
8. Don’t over-personify her.
She is human. She has flaws. She may be beautiful and talented and such, but she’s not perfect. If you imagine her to be more than she actually is, you’ll have a problem. Ground yourself. Healthily pick out things about her that annoys you–in moderation, of course–and learn to accept them. You’ll have a better understanding that she is a person, not a goddess.
Just as a disclaimer, reread Number 5. These are things that I find attractive. They won’t help with everybody. But this is what I think is healthy and useful. But try them out for me and see if they work, why don’t you?