UNTIL IT GETS THROUGH ALL OF YOU

Horrible customer service is almost expected. It’s one of those things we have such diminished expectations for that we grade it on a curve. Like drinking Hamm’s canned beer or losing your virginity: you don’t expect it to be good; you just want to get it over with and get what you need. Outsourcing doesn’t help as most foreigners don’t magically obtain a perfect grasp of the English language by pretending their name is Steve instead of Sanjay. Also problematic are the built-in layers of bureaucracy all designed to force consumers to rise higher and higher through the ranks of incompetence until you reach a supervisor with the actual authority to help you. And lastly, global corporations still seem to think customers will be happy if their employees can do nothing more than say,“Sir,” “Madame,” “please,” and “thank you.” But most customers aren’t concerned with these niceties. Frankly, I don’t care if you call me Senor Fuckwad just as long as you promptly take care of my stuff. (Actually, I care a little. I mean, Senor Fuckwad? That’s just hurtful. Why would you say that? Are you some kind of jerk?)

That’s why on those rare occasions where competent people in a functioning system actually do their job and take care of me, I seriously consider sexually satisfying them. (Regardless of gender or sexual orientation.) I’m just that happy. Such was the case at the Apple store recently. (Yes, Mac fanboys, take a moment to ejaculate in the corner.) My son’s Nano stopped working. Simple matter. The on/off switch was stuck in the depressed position. Some sort of internal spring malfunction. I made an appointment online, drove over to the Apple store, and then proceeded to wait 40 minutes past the time of my appointment while overhearing the obnoxious inhabitants of the Genius Bar shower i-Intelligence down upon the masses. It was quite irritating actually.

BUT, when my turn did come, a nice young lad with hipster glasses took my name, punched his iPad, saw the Nano defect, and replaced the unit with a new one in literally two minutes. My wife was so happy that even though she’d been bitching about using our Mac laptop while her ASUS desktop was in the shop, she instantly converted to a Mac user for life, and I felt a little guilty for making that Steve Jobs joke.

5 Things That Make You Happier Than They Probably Should

surveymonkey.com
Please take my survey for my human sexuality course regarding how often sexual fantasies occur my group bailed on me & its for a final grade (this is due thursday omfg)
Before you take it there is an ‘informed consent statement’ regarding what you will be taking & its all strictly for research so all info will be confidential.

OKAY YALL IM RIVETED LMFAO my group in my human sexuality class just emailed me & said they never handed out our surveys bc they all refuse to get off their butts and help me. I cant do my final research project without results!!! Im waiting on a response from my professor, but it is mostly not going to come through until Tuesday at the latest. I know its absolutely unconventional to ask this but could you maybe take it?? i payed hard earned money for this class and was unable to get results myself due to a family medical emergency (i cannot go out and get results this week because of 3 other finals i must study for) & i tried to make this survey as user friendly as possible.

PLEASE help me pass this class, im hard on money as it is and dont want to waste what i payed. thank you so so much

(also idk why survey monkey added that last question with only female and male as a thing to check just like click w/e for that one i cant remove it)

Something to think about

We only know Victor as the best in the world. We’ve seen video of him dominating competition after competition, winning gold at every one of them, and now thanks to episode 10 we know that he’s dedicated nearly his whole life to it. 

Here’s the thing that broke me today. Elite athletics is stressful. And I don’t mean the “omg this semester is taking so long” type of stressful. I mean that your body hurts so badly that sometimes you physically can’t get out of bed and all you can think about is the training that you’re missing. You’ll spend hours at work so that you can pay to continue your sport but you can’t help but feel like you’d be better off going over that move one more time and visualizing that jump again and again until you can literally feel your body flying through the air. As much as the sport is what gives you life, it is what kills you too. And now for the best part. Victor said that he hasn’t allowed himself to have life or love for twenty years. 

He was alone with this stress. 

Do you have any idea how hard that is? Victor may be a world champion and the god of male figure skating but he’s had bad days. There were days when didn’t want to get out of bed and go to the rink because he just couldn’t take it anymore. Because his mind was telling him that this was a waste and it wasn’t going to last forever anyway so what was the point. And I can almost guarantee you he didn’t tell anyone when he was having these days. It’s just not something you do. And of course, they’re almost never permanent thoughts and the bad days will pass but it’s so hard to work through alone. 

And now that he’s not skating anymore, he’s got the world begging him to come back, questioning his every move as a coach and pushing against his actions as though he’d made a terrible decision. the only person who seems to truly believe that this isn’t the case is Yuri, and even he questions it in secret.

But the difference between Victor as a skater and Victor as a coach is this: as a skater, he kept to himself and never let the world see past his glamorous facade. As a coach, he’s not letting that happen to Yuri. Looking past the fact that they’re in love, because even in the first few episodes when yuri was basically pushing Victor away, he was supportive, asking “What do you want me to be to you? A father figure? A friend?” He’s fighting alongside Yuri to make sure that he earns the Grand Prix Gold Medal but he’s not letting Yuri fall into the same chaos that he did. He’s giving him an out from the crazy life, taking him from interviews to go to a hotpot, skipping rest before competition to go sight seeing, and a ton of other little things like that to give Yuri a life outside of skating. 

Victor may not be an experienced coach, but he is a good one. He allows his athlete to be a person as well, and I truly think it’s because he wants Yuri to live in the best of both worlds. He wants Yuri to succeed because he knows that he can, but he also wants Yuri to live because that’s something that everyone deserves to experience. 

Okay, so I think this is very interesting…

Gunner here - who we believe was born in a shelter, not adopted until about 6ish months, returned after being too rambunctious, and then adopted by us at 10 months - took maybe two tries of a combination of shaping & luring to get into that box.

Asher, on the other hand, is hesitant to interact with the box whatsoever, to the point that he is almost fearful. He’s like this with objects kind of in general, which has prevented me from doing any shaping at all, but is probably also why he only ever chewed up a sock as a puppy and nothing else. Asher never saw the inside of a shelter. He was left on a doorstep and then immediately taken into a foster home.

We wager Gunner is part boxer (which may help with overall exuberance and confidence), part houndy something, and then maybe some more of some other bully breed or some other altogether mutty mutt business. Asher is certainly part ACD, the rest is a mystery at the moment.

@herebelife, was Thistle fearful or hesitant with interacting with various objects or boxes when you went about the how! small! can! we! go! exercises? I’m curious about your take on this.

Here’s how I went about getting them to interact with the box. (This is kind of long. Oops. But if you have the time, I’d appreciate it if you - whoever you may be! - gave it a read and gave me some feedback.)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I think I have a crush on my best friend but she's straight as hell and I don't know what to do. Any advice?

Hello anon!

Oh that is one of the hardest things to go through. Honestly, I have no idea how to handle this since I’m one to keep my feelings to myself always and never reveal my crushes until the feeling (or the person) goes away.

Perhaps talk to her about, just to get it off your chest? Or talk another close friend of y'all’s about it? Try taking your mind off of her and see if you’re interested in other people or activities!

I wouldn’t suggest doing platonic stuff such as holding hands or cuddling unless that’s what BOTH of you want. If y'all are okay with being affectionately platonic, then I say go for it. Otherwise, if you’re wanting a real romantic relationship, I’m afraid it’ll only feed the fire of your pining.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be much of help, but I hope you found something in my advice. I send you the best of wishes!!!
(Anyone with better advice please reblog and comment)

I don’t know how to say this

But I need help. And just getting to the point that I can admit that out loud has been a long, painful journey.

Here’s the situation: my husband has never been a flexible person, hating to have his routines tampered with and throwing fits when they are. He reduced our oldest daughter to a sobbing wreck on Monday with his fury over her accidentally washing a shirt of his in with the load of our stuff. Up until then, most of his rage was directed at me and I could handle it. But I realized, suddenly, what I was allowing to happen, and that my children were suffering.

I told him I wanted him to move out. He refused and locked himself in his bedroom for two days.  He has not spoken to me since Monday. I have no idea what he’s planning or doing, because every attempt I’ve made at contact has been rebuffed with icy silence.

I am disabled, with degenerative disk disease, narrowing of the spinal canal, and scoliosis, as well as severe arthritis and a severed ligament in my left knee. I physically cannot keep a job, since I can’t stay on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time.

My books are beginning to sell, which is wonderful, but they’re nowhere near enough to support myself and four children yet.  I have filed for disability, which I should have done years ago, I know, but I didn’t need it, right?  My husband supported us all, no reason to mess with the system he had in place.

I was raised to never ask for handouts. And I’m crying as I type this because I hate that I have to now. But I’m desperate. Emotionally, our marriage has been over for years, but things are just getting worse. I can’t live with this man and since he won’t leave, then clearly I have to.

I’m asking for help. I hope I never have to again, I wish it wasn’t necessary at all, but I have to break this cycle of abuse, and I can’t do it alone. The shelter in the county is full and we’re low priority anyway because the abuse isn’t physical, which means that the housing authority is our only real hope at the moment, since their rent is based on income and should be something affordable.  Assuming they have an opening.

If you’re still reading, my Paypal is halcymouse@gmail.com.  Any amount will be a help, but if you can donate even just $5, I’ll send you a digital copy of Coffee Cake or Beignets in tears and gratitude. If you can’t donate a penny but will reblog this so others can see it, you also have my gratitude and I will mentally hug you.

Thank you for listening and I’m going to go cry some more now.

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EXPLAINING COMMON SENSE TO ANTIS AND OT8 STANS (1/??)

fact: when working on a film or a drama, the person hired does not work under the group’s name but as an actor, as an individual person. this is not only the case with yixing, but also with chanyeol and kyungsoo. where was the outrage then? or is it only bad when it’s a Chinese member?

Never Take Your Eyes Off Me (a victuuri fansong)
  • Never Take Your Eyes Off Me (a victuuri fansong)
  • Julia Jones
Play

After 3 failed attempts at writing a victuuri  fan song, I bring you ‘Never Take Your Eyes Off Me’. 

It’s from Yuuri’s perspective, about Victor. I wrote it after episode 9, because I couldn’t contain myself hahaha. Hope you guys like it! Sorry for the belty parts ;P (they’re not always on key whoops) I kinda went nuts about half way through, so keep listening!

lyrics under the read more.

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sometimes i genuinely worry about the people who didnt find bandom until a couple of years ago?? like are you finding all the content you need to see?? have you seen gerard way pop out of a birthday cake on mtv?? did you see fall out boys wind power commercial??? did you see andy throw water over an interviewer??? did you see that episode of mtv cribs where halfway through patrick just rocks up with petes mum carrying all her groceries?? are you getting everything you need?? let me guide you

No one will ever truly prepare you for the pain of unrequited love. Sure, you can read and hear a thousand different stories about it, and think that you can handle it perfectly. I believe you are very strong, but all of those tales are never enough to ready your heart. Because once it happens to you, once you get to experience the reality, no matter how many times you familiarize yourself with the ache through the wisest of words, you will still find yourself asking the most basic of questions. The pain will present itself like a stranger, and you will be needing answers, and all you can do is think about it day and night until things start to change and your world becomes unfamiliar. It will get to the point where it becomes unbearable. And anybody can offer their answers and thoughts to you, but you will still feel empty, like nobody can understand your feelings. Even if unrequited love has been defined in a million definitions, explained in a million explanations, and expressed in a million expressions, soon, you too will have your own thoughts about it. And other people may hear about it, but it would never truly prepare them for the pain. Because unrequited love is a terrible, terrible thing.
—  samesounds
I’m not freestyling, I’m too old. I wrote you a sonnet instead. My wife’s the reason anything gets done. She nudges me towards promise by degrees. She is a perfect symphony of one, our son is her most beautiful reprise. We chase the melodies that seem to find us until they’re finished songs and start to play. When senseless acts of tragedy remind us that nothing here is promised, not one day, this show is proof that history remembers. We live through times when hate and fear seem stronger. We rise and fall and light from dying embers, remembrances that hope and love last longer. And love is love is love is love is love is love is love and love cannot be killed or swept aside. I sing Vanessa’s symphony, Eliza tells her story, now fill the world with music, love, and pride. Thank you so much for this.
—  Lin Manuel Miranda accepting the Tony Award for Best Original Score

Aries: I’m proud of you, God fucking damnit, I’m so proud of you. You’ve come miles and miles and I know not enough people say it so I’m saying it now. I am so proud of you.

Taurus: You are so special. They’re abuse didn’t tarnish that. They’re horrible actions didn’t do any damage to that fucking soul. You’re not broken. You are not shattered remnants. You are whole.

Gemini: I know your piecing together parts of your broken self. Can I just stop and say you did a good job? That among the scars and rubble of your past is something fucking amazing. I know you still have bad days, you’ll be okay

Cancer: Some wounds aren’t meant to heal and some sickness weren’t meant to get better. But learn to live in this shell and make it your home because it’s all we’ve got.

Leo: Smile. Smile until it hurts. Because maybe then the pain that you’re going through will sting just a little bit less. Don’t let them destroy the light in yours eyes.

Virgo: Your world falling to pieces. Sometimes you have to light the powder keg. See what’s standing in the ruble. I know it’s scary, but take your shaking hand and blow it up. Blow it the fuck up.

Libra: Grab the bandages, grab the bleach. Clean up your clothes and wash your hair. Wrap your wounds. You’re a fucking warrior. So fight.

Scorpio: Take the jump. What are you so afraid of? Because the only scary thing I see here is you. You are the scariest thing about this situation. Take pride in that and jump. You’ll land on your feet.

Sagittarius: They aren’t angry. They just miss you. And if you ever decide to come home you will be welcomed with open arms even after all of this time. We hope you are well, and we hope you come home.

Capricorn : Celebrate yourself and the small victories you have. Take in the air and know that nothing thrives all year long in nature and neither do you. So let yourself rest and let yourself recover. And bloom again when you’re ready.

Aquarius : heal. And not because someone else is telling you to but because parts of you are broken and need to be fixed. Let yourself recover. Because in the end, isn’t recovery worth it?

Pisces: Exist. Exist in this moment and take control because it’s all you’ve got. Hold on tight, I know it’s scary. But some rides are worth the wait.

—  This week’s horoscope
But the truth is, it’s not the idea, it’s never the idea, it’s always what you do with it.
—  Neil Gaiman
Mystic Messenger e-mail answering guide FULL VERSION

Hey, just to start, apologies for any grammar mistakes I will commit during this post. I am having internet connectivity issues right now so I am writing this on phone.

There are 4 types of e-mails after you are done with the invitation to the party, the FAILED, which means you did not manage to invite that person, the COMPLETED in red or green, that means the person may or may not come, and the COMPLETED in blue in which the person is coming to the party.

So here goes the list I have until now:


Blue completed:

Indie games developer: Scheam, Nameless, Game convention
Youngest College Students: Jaehee, playing games of drinking soda, because you are too smart.
Oil Company:We have very big parking spots, we have american TV, the bald one.
Barista Group: Arabica coffee, Drip brewing, italy
Models: yes will there be a lot of companies, zen, look of yourself reflected into woman’s eyes
Tetris guy: battle 707 ate the party, stick, we have a new tetris series ready.
Wine Producer:red wine, ice wine, Jumin
Indie movie enthusiasts: environment ( he one that is not r- rated stuff), realism, Cannes, Venice & Berlin.
LOLOL guild: headset, make the stats balanced, blood dragon.
Narcissist association:Lock up in a room full of mirrors, takes a lot of selfies, Lake na.
Secretary association: a rational boss, well payed, normal outfit
Monogamy group: cross-stitch framed, handcuff her, give her flowers.
Musical Supporters: Zen, the jalapeno topping was pretty spice musical, the one that doesn’t say to ask someone for tickets.
Bankers: 100% interest deals, swiss bank, 1.2 million.
Private investigator: Yes I wanna invite you to the party, the heroine that uses violence, It really matches you.
Long cat: meow meow, (with the comma),  miumiu , nyannyan
Tradition: Whoopee~~ Beat the drums~~, Whoopp~~, Oh my dear sun~~ lay your passion upon us~~. 
Hospital: Hippocrates, exam results, compare hospitals.
Culture: Borborry, verragamo, there will be many handsome man.
Artwomen: monet, louvre, cantabile.
Floppy:  rainbow floppy, windows 8.1 3711, obtain a limited cassette tape.
Cat Project: Please come, feed them and wait, social media.
Allergy: Cat allergy, beef and seaweed soup, guests not attending to parties.
Frank: All to the bank, bank passbook, put on various bank accounts.
Solo: Hi I’m Youngsoo. I got your number through Chulsoo, watch, consider the other person’s feelings.
Uranai: I have plenty of time, Jumin Han, old man under the moon
Smartphone: leave the phone on the living room, leave the battery half charged, popcorn brain.
Badcomment: 1.0.0.1., I will be watching the next one, report them.
Nolam: Baleman, Otherstellar, Leonardo Dicappucino.
Tom: call the zoo, stock price of peaches will go down, you are getting two F’s.
Chef: 3 cups, you mix as if you are cutting, 20 minutes.
Rui: Elegant , Olympusx20, ganon
Cherryfarm: green, take out the stem and use a staw to push out the seed, diamond.
LOLOL: Dia, hunt the new zombies, invite her to play lolol
Romance: He will, Your one and only top star, kiss
Naming: Luciel, Your character’s name, Jaehee
Medicine: Tiarnol, tiarnol, tiarnol
Hyoja: fillial piety, confucius, health
Smoking quitter association: scold him, your girlfriend will love it, scold him again
Golf Association: Driver, shoes that dry quickly, gloves that don’t wear out easyly
Roastery: Antigua, whole beans, 15 days
Bracelet: various kinds of organizations, Lock U Up silver bracelet, mall
Pancake: silvervine, salmon fish sauce, fish-shape
Security: Korea, because it’s cool, gold
Writer: art-related organization, X0X0foreverurlovely#1star★ , flies off to space
DocLee: the seal is unlocked!!!, black , the rise of the fire dragon slumbering within the eyes!!
Meteor study club :  first kiss, hungry, make a wish
Tuition Committee: Noon, Yellow and Black, Candlelight
Cat hotel: Cat buffet, Putting on a show, Cat limousine
Driver Kim: Compete with your son, Drifting, young Pong
Hacker: Lucky Kim, 80 years old, Grandmother
Students living alone: In the freezer, Bubblewrap, Fried Rice
Shoes association (Toeic): Small feet, chinese,  Nimtendo
Homeless rescue team: there will be potential donators at the party, warm rice, soup, green salad, baked salmon, and fried eggs.  + sell small issue magazine (third reply; i got blue completed)
Press: netizens, a law must be implemented that protects reporters, i cannot tell you that
God: the one where you said you’re excited talking to him, the one that didn’t ask for money, i think you’ll walk into the party room like a normal person
Detective: i know the vanished seven treasure islands, yoosung’s lolol exploration, chief assistant jaehee kang.
Keyboard: ergonomics, control+C,  movi 83.
Monnami: best pen of the nation: BIC, sear the end with a lighter, classic is best
Emotion: i’d like to help you, the movie one, i really hope you come to our party.
Chicken: Youtube,  face of a generous looking grandfa…I mean you, the owner!,
Wrongmajor: What are you interested in, not too late, convince the parents.
Basketcase woman: green, long enough to do well with my eyes closed,  get a camel through the eye.
Catlovers: head, odd eye, crystal litter.
Stock: Invest the stock, not lose your money, chief assistant Jaehee Kang.
Lame (Haejung): Call the police, Say Hello!, I think you’ll give them a kick in the butt.
Marc: Bae screen wedding,  triple tipt invitations, use the screenshot.
Cream Roll: Imagine Mythical Creatures, limited edition name change ,Banner for the winner
Star: first kiss, shiny moon makes me hungry, wish on a star
Mira: pink bandages, coffin with lace all around, Life size marble statue of the Pharaoh

If you got full completion on other e-mails or have any more info to update the list just reply here, leave a note or send me a private message, I will add your name to the contributors.

@jessrine made a spreadsheet table with all this notes if you prefer to read that way here is the LINK

I Would not be able to do half this list without the help from LittleredLilly/ @paranoialover , thank you SO much!


Thanks SO MUCH for all the help: Himeka1238, Calligor, MarchFairy, LittleredLilly, Midnightkitsunepei, @nohrslittleprincess , @sicheynne, @xxblackrabbit18xx @zelchex @syun0acute @kalelofkrypton @akechu @ledragonprince @creafujo94 @otomesiren @pescado-diabolico @yuuki-kawaii-makoto @vedrane @flibbertigibbetjie @amethystcria @magicalthingy

Throw $10 into a fountain, all in nickels. The hand of Thomas Jefferson will rise out of the center of the fountain holding a ticket. DO NOT STEP INTO THE FOUNTAIN WHEN YOU GO TO RETRIEVE YOUR TICKET OR I CANNOT ANSWER FOR YOUR SAFETY.


Visit the Hamilton memorial on the Mall. Jinx! THERE IS NO HAMILTON MEMORIAL. Arrange for it to be built. On the day of the ribbon-cutting look more closely at the ribbon. It is not a ribbon after all, is it? It is a ticket. Glance up to see Eliza Hamilton’s shadowy figure wink at you as she mouths the word “narrative.”


Buy the cheapest ticket readily available five years from now. Get one of those enchanted remotes from the “Beyond” section of Bed, Bath and Beyond like Adam Sandler had in the movie “Click.” Use it to fast-forward through your life until the point when you have your “Hamilton” ticket, missing your daughter’s childhood in the process. It is all right. She will understand when she sees “Hamilton.”


Win the ticket lottery.


Win the regular lottery.

Two Sides to Every Yugioh fan
  • Side One: Can you truly watch all of Yugioh and not come out changed? It has so many powerful messages and inspirational characters that transform the viewer into a better person of their past selves. Such an impacting, heart breaking, beautiful show.
  • Side two: I fucking swear if I hear them explain Pot of Greed one more fucking time I'm going to throw myself off a building. And why the fuck is there a duel every single fucking episode? This show doesn't even fucking make sense until season two like how does anyone actually get through it? Such trash, honestly.

LETTER FROM A MOTHER TO A DAUGHTER:

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.

I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”

Must share .

Things Uttered At The Haus

(Based on my own grad school experiences/having very thin walls in my apartment building)

-*offended whisper* “Why don’t you look at me during?*
“What the fuck dude? Have you been watching Game Grumps again?”
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT AND YOU KNOW IT!”

-”It’s three am and I’m making pot brownies because what is life anymore even? Let’s just eat the chocolate and chill out until we die.”

-”KNOCK KNOCK CHUCKLEFUCKS! LET’S TALK ABOUT DISNEY PRINCESS FILMS AND THE EVOLUTION OF THE BULLSHIT DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!”

-*slams a thermos of gin and tonic on the table* “So before we go through our writing group critique, I feel like we all need some of this.”
“Getting drunk at eleven in the morning? Now we’re real writers!” 

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