okay so. as someone who runs one of the very, very few ocpd-centric blogs on tumblr (not this one, i mean @thatocpdfeel ), its actually so upsetting how little people know abt ocpd, even here on tumblr amongst other mental health bloggers. not to say anything bad abt those bloggers!!! its just not spoken abt much. maybe thats because its not as common as, like, bpd or avpd, but its also because SO many ocpd symptoms are ENCOURAGED by society. i get so many tags on my posts saying “thats an ocpd thing???” or “thats not normal???” or “im not supposed to do that???” like so much of what is killing us from the inside are things parents, teachers, and guardians all think are positive attributes to have, but we internalize those things in such a twisted and intense way that we suffer and yet are idealized for our suffering.
ive had so many people with other illnesses, like depression, tell me how ocpd has its upsides because i can be productive and get stuff done when they cant even get out of bed. thats not how it works.
ocpd is not being perfect.
ocpd is NEEDING to be perfect because even the tiniest mistake means you are the scum of the earth and deserve to die.
ocpd is not double checking your work to make sure you got everyting right because you want a good score.
ocpd is perfecting the wording of a single sentence because if it doesnt imply the exact thought you are trying to get across then it means you have failed and even if it is still technically right and no points are taken off, inside you know that it was wrong and it COULD have been better and your personal standards are ten times higher than the official standards because you know that the goals you need to reach to be successful are leaps and bounds above what the average person needs, not because you are better than them but because you must strive to become better than them at all cost because second best is still a loser.
ocpd is not orangizing your work station before starting a new project.
ocpd is crying and screaming while you trash 42 different versions of the same attempted project and shoving everything off your desk and wanting to pull out your hair or bang your head on a wall because you messed it up so many times already and if you dont get it right this time you will never get it and you will be marked as a failure for the rest of your life, unable to accomplish literally anything and youre so terrified of that thought you take six hours to scrub at your desk and mop the floor and take a razor to that bit of wax thats been stuck on the leg of your chair for a week and half and meticulously organize everything into boxes, counting every ration you put in to make sure they all even out, and listing everything thats there and labeling the boxes then straight up leaving the work area and not thinking about the project for another month.
ocpd is not having a folder of all your important documents because you know you will need them some time.
ocpd is having six folders, each containing vastly different documents, some of which are important, some of which are just old receipts to mcdonalds, some are keepsakes from friends, some of which are just a scap of paper with scribbles that you dont remember what they mean but maybe one day you will, and the rest are just any paper youve ever come across in your life. theyre all just as important as everything else though because the thought of prioritising them is nearly incomprehensible because they are all important and you need them all for equally important things so when you need, like, that paper for your auto insurance you first must sift through six hundred pages of notes your friends passed back and forth in middle school over five years ago and you dont even talk to them anymore but you absolutely cannot get rid of them. its all so important.
ocpd is not being productive.
ocpd is waking up and remembering that you are an inherently flawed and imperfect being, but also that your worth in this world is defined by what you put into it, so even if you cant be perfect, if you make enough perfect stuff or do enough stuff perfectly, it will all give the illusion to others as well as yourself that you are perfect. so you push yourself to do whatever it is you do. regardless of your other illnesses, you work and and try to be as productive as you possibly can because thats your only chance. you go into work sick. you push yourself past your limits, past what you know you are physically/mentally able to do, and you suffer for breaching those limits but all that pain is WORTH it because you are temporarily overcome with a sense of accomplishement and SOMEONE is finally proud of you. you did something right FOR ONCE. so even if you go completely nonverbal, or lay in bed for the next week in pain, or end up in the ER, or seventeen other things didnt get done, there was the most brief sense of absolute euphoria even if its almost immidiately replaced by a sense of overwhelming anxiety about what you messed up, forgot, did wrong, or ignored to achieve that feeling and the cycle of fixing, fixing, fixing repeats itself.
ocpd is not being bossy, egotistical, or controlling.
ocpd is a deeply psychological understanding that even the most insignificant mistake will reflect back on you in the most exaggerated and horrendous way possible. its knowing that if you ask your friend to go get you a red pen, but they bring you a blue one, and you dont know they got blue instead, so if you write even the smallest mark in that blue ink, even if its technically okay to write in red or blue, you specified red, so the fact that its blue makes it wrong and unnacceptable so in your mind its better to drop what your doing and get the correct red pen yourself even if its right beside your friend and you are already focusing on something else. the concept of asking others to do something, not even something in a manner of helping you but just to divide up jobs evenly, its absolutely impossible. because if they do something wrong, it will reflect on you, then you did something wrong and we both know that doing something wrong is completely out of the question. you would rather multitask four things at once, but the sight of someone else just twiddling their thumbs while you bust your ass is so infuriating! why cant they do what you are doing? why cant they just read your mind and know exactly what you need, when you need it, and be helpful? thats what you would do if they were in your situation! if they were working like you, you would hand them everything. you would also probably go ahead and just put that back for them. well, you could also handle that too. and before you know it, their job is your job and there they are twiddling their thumbs and looking at you for a job to do. its the phrase “if you want something done right, do it yourself” taken to a whole other level.
ocpd is so much more than what people think. were more than just a “type a personality” or “perfectionists” and its not just “mild ocd” either. ocpd is painful. please remember that.
(( OOC: Cruel and derogatory anonymous messages are not acceptable for any reason, in any situation. You are allowed to have a differing opinion. You are allowed to disagree with other people’s reasonings. But it is not okay to tell someone that their reaction to something is wrong, or stupid. We are humans and we are allowed to have emotional responses.
If you truly feel offended enough by someones own words, you do not get to hide behind a grey face. You do not get to type out nonsensical abuse, hit send and then face no consequences. There are always consequences to any action you take, and just because you don’t see the hurt you cause does not mean it doesn’t happen.
If you disagree with someone, and want to give your own opinion, make it a two-way conversation. Where you can discuss and validate your own opinions, and understand each other. Anonymous hate is not a discussion. It is cowardly, and incredibly selfish. Don’t do it. ))
I 100% agree in real life senarios it can be unhealthy but that’s not every case and I have numerous friends and family who are in relationships that have age differences that are exactly like this and I have many friends who are in their early 20′s. So I totally understand that it can be unhealthy but at the same time, if the two members people are on the same standing and are happy and things are working who has the right to say those sorts of things? Like I 100% understand what you are saying and I agree, but it’s not fair to say it’s problematic or unhealthy because that invalidates so many couples who are in healthy relationships!
And as for voltron like i get that people can not like ships because of this but honestly like this is not a real life senario and even if it was it’s not a horrible one like there are much worse things that have happened in fandoms and for what people are shipping and doing the amount of hate and demonizing is unreal and quite honestly really unnacceptable like there is bad people on both ends!!!
like I’m not saying antis need to suddenly support sha/adin ships but the hate really needs to stop, like it’s really unnacceptable from both sides like this is a TV show meant for enjoyment and there are alot of people who are making this fandom a really uninviting hellhole!
bum can get attached to someone so quickly if they show him the smallest amount of kindness towards him. smile at him once because you were being polite? wow, he wants to be your best friend and will believe that any other people around you shouldn’t because he’s the only one that matters. it totally goes against his self-loathing sometimes because he thinks he deserves to be the only one that person knows / interacts with and when he realizes that, yes, people are allowed to have other friends he gets upset. he’s so starved for affection that assumptions get him in trouble more times than not. he forms unhealthy attachments with people who probably don’t know he exists ( aka stalking them ;(( ) that it’s painful. don’t let bum get attached to someone who is bad for him because he will idolize them & blame himself for anything that goes wrong.