recordskips  asked:

I feel, very deeply in my soul, that I need to know more about Tyler Seguin's Harem and all who have belong(ed) to it. Please educate me.

A comprehensive answer to this question would require multiple flowcharts and at least one annotated little black book. (I can only assume there’s an app for that and that Segs uses it.) But let me give you a few of the highlights. Please note that I have left more than one dude off of this list because I compiled it off of the top of my head and it is therefore slanted toward people I care most about and/or have thought about most recently.

Tyler Brown
The Tylers met when they both played junior hockey for the Plymouth Whalers. At one point, they were Facebook married for a year. Then they were in a relationship on Facebook, then TBrown was in a relationship with his girlfriend, and now the Tylers are in a relationship on Facebook again. (They both have that information publicly available on their Facebook pages, so you can go see for yourself.) They lived together for more than one summer, including the one in Toronto when a camera crew came to visit. TBrown refers to TSegs as “the wife” and calls him “wifey.” TSegs calls TBrown “baby” (or sometimes “bay bay”). (Side note: if you read fic where TSegs is calling TBrown wifey/the wife, that is fanon, not canon, and I may have accidentally started that, although the reversal was the point in the story where I did that.) Time and distance does not seem to have dimmed their affection for one another.

I mostly find TBrown delightful, but you should know before you get too attached that he’s friends with Nick Cousins, who was charged with rape before he moved up from Juniors to the AHL. I mostly ignore this fact when writing fictional TBrown and use it as one of the pieces of evidence when I rant in my head about the way professional hockey values hockey over women’s safety.

Jesse Blacker
Early on, before I knew how many of them there are, I referred to Jesse as Segs’ “other boyfriend.” The summer the Tylers lived together in Toronto, Jesse seems to have spent most of his time sleeping on their couch. There was also a picture of Segs sleeping on Jesse that Jesse tweeted and Segs retweeted, and then they both retweeted the fan art of it. Other Jesse fun facts: he tweeted my favorite Segs picture, he has a lot of tattoos, and he spent part of last summer in Sweden hanging out with tiny children.

Fred Gervasi
Fred grew up playing hockey in the Toronto area and then went to play Division III hockey in Boston, where he referred to himself as a “D3 warrior.” I’m unclear on exactly when he and Segs met, but by the time of the lockout, Segs was staying with Fred when he went to Boston (including the time Segs tweeted a shirtless picture of Fred from Fred’s bed). After the lockout, they moved in together, and Segs did things like refer to Fred and Marshall as “family.” During this same time period, Fred’s dad took to referring to them on Twitter as “Prince 1 and Prince 2.”

Jamie Benn
Jamie is the face of the Dallas Stars. Over the summer, he and Segs texted, including the infamous “prove them wrong” promise resulting from Segs being traded and Jamie being left off the Team Canada orientation camp roster. Once the season started, Segs moved into the same building as the Benns, where they lived four floors apart and ate dinner together all the time. Jamie then told the press, in reference to his relationship with Segs, “We’re closer than you think.” They make a habit of flirting during warmups. The only reason the official story about them isn’t that they soulbonded when meeting over the summer is that soulbonding isn’t a real thing.

Michael Del Zotto
I think MDZ sort of flew under the radar. I mean, sure, he and Segs have been friends for a while and they went on Spring Break together, but this whole roommates/MDZ taking care of Segs thing still seems to have come out of nowhere.