Trolltina

what has happened since Lotus was released
  • britney has tried and failed to get a #1 with 4 singles from 2 different albums and got a vegas residency
  • azealia banks finally released broke with expensive taste
  • beyonce came out with BEYONCE and went on 2 world tours
  • taylor swift released another album since 2012, went on 2 world tours, and threw white shade at katy perry
  • katy perry released an album and went on a world tour
  • living legend hilary duff released her 1st album in 8 years AND she released a tinder and “fan demanded” version of her music video
  • ariana grande released 2 albums
  • mariah released an album, went on a tour, and now has a vegas residency
  • lady gaga released the disastrous artpop and the “knows artpop was a flop so she switched genres” and released that jazz album
  • lana del rey is about to release her 2nd album
  • miley released bangerz (!!!!!!!) and is currently on tour
  • selena gomez released an album and got back and broke up with justin 4 more times
  • justin bieber has not released any music since 2012 HOWEVER he did pee in a bucket, threw eggs at his neighbor, slept with a dozen brazilian prostitutes, and got a DUI
  • justin timberlake released 2 albums, went on 2 world tours, and starred in 2 movies nobody has heard of

and her fellow voice coaches?

  • pharrell released his first album in 8 years and annoyed everybody with the happy song
  • gwen released two songs and ummmmm ?????
  • shakira released an album and 2 babies
  • usher idk even know but he had a bunch of songs on the radio i hear his ass every 2 minutes for the last 2 years
  • blake shelton came out with 2 albums and a redneck christmas special
  • maroon 5 has released 2 albums and been on 3 tours and adam works full time on the voice bitch you aint been on there in 2 seasons and you bout to take another break!!!

anonymous asked:

Could you review Xtina's NBA performance?

***Flawless

Her entire performance was spectacular, she looked like Back to Basics Legendtina Goduilera circa 2007 (aka her last public tour), the best her voice has been in years, her breasteses stayed where they were suppose to stay, her hair was very cute very Madonna at the 1991 Oscars which was also channeling Marilyn Monroe at her entire career, and her dancing was rivaling Britney circa Britney: Piece of Me (Britney wishes she could move left to right on beat like Legendtina). Also a bonus, she was on key the entire time. There was no cracks like some recently flopping divas who can’t even lip sync sing their own Christmas cover.

She brought attention to a little town called New York with her 6 minute medley of classic gospel and hip hop songs. I predict New York will be the new hip tourist attraction in the North American region by this summer thanks to Christina. And trust me, I’ve been to New York, lots of hot boys but very, very dirty and smelly.

Not only did she put New York on the map she brought out a very unknown underground hip hop/rapper (?) called Nazty Naz (sp?) which I thought was very charitable considering it was Her performance, but not at all surprising since she has always introduced us to new and talented black musicians like Lil Kim, whom she graciously won a Grammy for, Alicia Keys, who Xtina put on her album Stripped before her close friend Beyonce’s husband put her on a song called “New York: concrete jungle wet dream tomato” which she also covered in this legendary medley. And don’t forget she introduced the world to a in-transition, pre-Harajuku, post-whatever she was portraying, Nicki Minaj, with her girl power anthem about eating vagina. 

In conclusion, her performance was legendary, iconic, and has changed the lives of millions of Americans in mere days. I predict big things for Legend in 2015, not quite a Vegas residency because she still has a career but y’know like an album and possibly a tour (lets not jinx it tho).

Watch on joshricci.tumblr.com

OKAY BUT AT 0:51 I THINK I ACTUALLY DIED.

Kay @trolltina .. Get on that GIF right there!!