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                                                     Reasons (aka raves) under the cut.

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Part I: reason | Part II: alone

December 26th, morning

Remus opened his eyes slowly, desperate for water he made his way out of the bed but a little noise he heard made hims top on his tracks. An angel was standing at the door and Remus was fairly sure he was still sleeping, Sirius with all his beauty and a fucking towel hanging from his hips was smiling at him. Nope, he was asleep there was no way any human being could be so perfect. It was as if God took time to carve out each one of his perfect features, you could easily eat chocolate ice cream from his collar bones and that towel.. Good God that towel was hanging so dangerously loose, Remus found himself praying for it to just fall off.

“Well, morning Remus,” said Sirius and Remus suddenly realised not only was he not dreaming but he had been staring at him for too long and also there was a not so small problem going under the blankets he was hoping Sirius wouldn’t realise.

“Morning,” he mumbled shyly trying his best to cover himself up with the big duvet.“What time is it?”

“9.30″ he replied with a smile. “Are you going to give me the pleasure of preparing breakfast for you?”

He cooks, too?

“Well, yeah sure, why not?” blabbered Remus as he tried to look somewhere else than Sirius’ abdomen which proved to get harder and harder every passing second. “I need to be out at 11, though. My mother would kill me.”

“You should get out of bed then,” he suggested with a raised eyebrow and Remus felt his heart trying to climb out of his mouth.

Not when you are standing like the fucking Greek God you are and I’m here above average at best.

“I will once you shut my door please,” shot back Remus trying to look as confident as he can. “We are still strangers after all.”

“But you slept at my house?”

“Difficult times require difficult choices Sirius,” he replied sarcastically with a smile and shooed him out and as he was staring at him as he turned around he realised that towel was both a blessing and a curse. He got out of the warm bed his problem long gone and got dressed in a haste as he pulled his sweater over him he heard Sirius call from downstairs.

“I’m not even bothering asking you if you prefer tea or coffee,” he yelled making Remus smile and he got out of the guest room after making the bed, that was how his mother raised him after all, and went downstairs still smiling.

“You shouldn’t. I’m guessing you are a coffee person,” speculated Remus as he sat on the chair waiting for Sirius to bring their plates, it was smelling like heaven inside the house.

They ate their food as they talked about their jobs a little more and Sirius told Remus a bit more about his family, Remus had a small urge inside him to ask Sirius something he knew was a bit too soon but he just wanted to know.

“What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?”

“Um, I’ll probably be here the same as yesterday,” answered Sirius and that was the first time he looked weak since they met. “It’s just one day turning to another, it’s not a big deal.”

“You don’t mean that,” objected Remus because Christmas was very special for him and he liked to think it was for most of the people. He was personally offended by how little Sirius thought of New Year’s Eve. “No one should be alone on New Year’s Eve.”

“Well I really don’t have much of a choice really,” he teased but Remus could hear the disappointment in his voice he tried so hard to mask with all the teasing and sarcasm. “It’s not like I can take back what happened last year and I don’t want to spend my New Year’s Eve with people who only pretend to love me out of obligation.”

“Come spend it with us,” blurted out Remus before he could stop himself.


“You can come spend it with us, it’s our turn this year to hold the festivities and there will be loads of people. I have kept in touch with my best friends from high school and our families are very close friends and we have a tradition–”

“I can’t,” said Sirius curtly. “It is very rude to your parents and everyone else invited. I’m alright with spending it alone, Remus.”

“Think about it as a thank you for accommodating me last night,” he countered. “I won’t let you spend it alone.”

“Please let it go–”

“You said,” began Remus and took a deep breath. “You said there was a reason that we met–”

“I was drunk–”

“Shut it for a second, please,” interrupted Remus, shocked at his own audacity, he ran a hand through his locks. “You said there was a reason for us to meet, what if it is for you to meet new people and find a new place you can call home?”

“We are just strangers who met because of a coincidence,” said Sirius as he picked the empty plates up.

“Drunk you is better than this hopeless you,” hissed Remus as he stood up and went to the kitchen walking a little too fast. He clearly wasn’t looking where he was going as he bumped into Sirius when he entered the kitchen. They ran into each other Remus hovering over Sirius and his scent still as mesmerising as it was last night and it took a little time for both of them to take a step back and mumble an apology.

“I have just realised I’m tall enough to put you on my shoulder and carry you to my car if you refuse to come again,” challenged Remus, he didn’t know where this blind courage was coming from but he was liking it, it was like a good side effect of Sirius. “Please?”

“You should call and ask your mother first really,” said Sirius as he gave up and Remus bolted to his phone and called his mother as fast as he could.

“Hi mum… yes I’ll be leaving in five minutes. I was wondering if I can bring someone with me… Yes, yes that’s the one… No he’ll be spending it alone..”


“I will mum, God… okay love you, too. See you in an hour.” 

Remus turned around to see Sirius’ reaction to his mother’s yelling and he was staring at a grinning Greek God.

“I think I love her,” said Sirius as he put the plates and the mugs in the dishwasher. “Let me take a few things. I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“We both did weird things the past 24 hours, what’s life without a little risk?”

Remus didn’t believe what he was hearing himself say, when did he start living so reckless? Sirius came back with a small duffel bag and he was smiling like he wasn’t believing what he was about to do either.

“I just realised I don’t even know your last name,” said Remus.

“It’s Black,” replied Sirius as he pulled the door behind him. “It suits my soul pretty well.”

“If you say so,” he snickered before he turned left to walk towards his car. The roads were cleared and it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas even though it was over.

I’m in a stranger’s car, going God knows where, mother wouldn’t approve. All the more reason to do this.

They were driving slowly to their destination with the AC on so they wouldn’t freeze. Remus was playing Queen songs on shuffle and Sirius’ Christmas miracle was getting better and better. 

“We are lucky they cleared the snow from the streets because I didn’t bother getting snow tires,” stated Remus as he stared at the road, his eyes squinted a little. “Mum will probably drown you with food, please don’t try to be polite and say no when you want to.”

“I never say no to good food Remus,” he replied. “No one in their right mind does.”

He smiled his signature warm smile that would melt icebergs and kept on staring ahead. Out of his respect for Bohemian Rhapsody, Sirius kept his mouth shut but as soon as it was over he started asking all the things he had been trying to keep himself from asking.

“So who are these friends of yours that are invited?”

“Um, so James and Lily have been dating since senior year, if James gets his head out of his ass he will propose soon,” he began, there was a spark to his eye he knew Regulus had when he was talking about him. “Peter is an amazing cook and he is my oldest friend, I met him when we were 10 years old, I guess.”

“It must be nice to have friends like that,” said Sirius absent-mindedly. What was wrong with him? He found himself saying all the things he never said to anybody else. “I’m only close with my brother Regulus, who’s abroad at the moment. He’s studying art in Italy.”

“I’m going to force my friendship on you Sirius Black,” assured Remus as he turned and grinned at Sirius shortly. “It is easier for you to just let me in really.”

Sirius wanted to let him in so badly, he was aching for affection and love ever since his relationship with his parents and old friends went down the hill like an avalanche but he was almost sure Remus wasn’t talking about the same kind of relationship Sirius was hoping for. 

This was what the writers talked about all the time, this was the feeling Sirius made fun of all the time because love couldn’t be so sudden but here he was in the car with Remus Lupin with his old sweater, sandy locks and honey eyes, and he suddenly believed that love didn’t knock before it entered but Remus had literally knocked his way in.

“This thing called love I just can’t handle it..”

Me neither, Freddie, me neither. 

There’s a song so lonely that it grew hands / so it could reach out to touch your soul. / And it’s enough to stop you in your tracks. / To stand so still / to feel your heart beating. / Sometimes we forget how it feels. / To have our heart beating / I mean. We go through life like clockwork. Our eyes shifting. / Hands touching, taking / putting things back but crookedly, slightly out of place / which is why our house is less home, looking more like a burglary scene at this point. / Hands balled into fists / to keep the love from getting out alive. / Sometimes we go through life like clockwork. / We take cold showers. / Buy groceries. / But sometimes there’s a song so lonely that pushes a squeaky cart along aisle three / and you look over / limp leaves in one hand / and a sadness washes over you / and you don’t exactly know why.

волком молитва

“Spirit of the wolf

you who wanders the wild lands
you who stalks in silent shadows.
You who runs and leaps
between the moss-covered trees.

Lend me your primal strength
and the wisdom of your glowing eyes.
Teach me to relentlessly track my desires
and to stand in defense of those i love.
Show me the hidden paths and the moonlit fields.

Fierce spirit
walk with me in solitude.
Howl with me in my joy 
amd guide me as i move through this world”

take me home


take me home: yearbook edition

*whooping and hollering*

take me home: yearbook edition’s bonus tracks

*standing ovation, parades, crying, oh god the crying*

Okay Lee Taeyong, what’s your signature pose?


You don’t say…?

The Locker Room

Summary: Dan and Phil have an experience in the locker room.

Warning: Smut, Language, bottom!Phil, top!Dan, Feminization, Pet names, Light dirty talk

Word Count: 1,641


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The permanent stench of sweat hangs in the air. The sound of a locker door bouncing against another echoes through the nearly deserted locker room. There are now only two people inside: Dan and Phil. Dan is a jock who is the superstar on the football team. Phil is the only male cheerleader in the whole school.

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