And then it’s horrible cycle of not wanting to deal with unwanted attention, and unwanted “are you okay"s
So you just sit here. Listening to conversations you do not want to be a part of. Or figuring out how far you can retreat without drawing attention.
It’s a balance. Can I handle telling everyone "I just need a mental break” without having them think I’m rude? but I also don’t want to sit here and slowly lose my mind, sensory overload, and fatigue. A fog.
Every mental illness is shitty and more complicated than you can imagine. Major depressive disorder and panic disorder are absolutely no exception. If I was just “sad” and “scared” all the time it’d be easier to explain.
I hate being “abnormal.” No one ever wants to really deal with it. All whispered and hushed voices. It shouldn’t be so shameful.