<Karlie’s Birthday Celebration Week>

Day 5: Favorite video – “This Is How I Made It”

I just keep imagining phasellus ‘s OC Gabriel sitting there and getting random phonecalls from people asking if they are pregnant and he can’t understand how all these mortals are getting his phone number or when he got associated with pregnancies.

Some people get telemarketers. Gabriel gets calls about pregnancy advice.


holy crap i can’t believe that i actually got the vinyl :O shoutout to mina for getting the am album for my bday you’re the best!! <3

  • me:ok i'm tired time to go to bed
  • brain:alright i see what you're saying but hear me out...i got a really good idea for that story we've been working on and i want you to stay up all night writing it
  • me:now? you got inspiration now? we literally haven't worked on that story in months. can it wait til tomorrow?
  • brain:i'll forget it in the morning you have to do it now
  • me:are you sure?
  • brain:yes
  • me:...goddammit

And then it’s horrible cycle of not wanting to deal with unwanted attention, and unwanted “are you okay"s

So you just sit here. Listening to conversations you do not want to be a part of. Or figuring out how far you can retreat without drawing attention.

It’s a balance. Can I handle telling everyone "I just need a mental break” without having them think I’m rude? but I also don’t want to sit here and slowly lose my mind, sensory overload, and fatigue. A fog.

Every mental illness is shitty and more complicated than you can imagine. Major depressive disorder and panic disorder are absolutely no exception. If I was just “sad” and “scared” all the time it’d be easier to explain.

I hate being “abnormal.” No one ever wants to really deal with it. All whispered and hushed voices. It shouldn’t be so shameful.