Tori-goes-to-college

like the fact that we even keep the library open until 2am on campus just. we shouldn’t have to live in an environment where that is even necessary but the campus community needs it and I know there are some people who are in the library every night until closing

Finals week is honestly the dumbest idea ever

“Oh, hey, you know how you have that one test that counts for 40% of your grade in this one class?Well, we’re going to put four of those in the same week, and throw in a paper or two.

But hey! We’re canceling classes so you can study for 16-19 hours a day. 

You can do that right?”

No, fuck off dude, we can’t

Ugh

Finals

Japanese class is so fucking stupid!! If I lose focus for like more 30 seconds, it’s impossible for me to find my way back because the material is way too hard and we basically spend the whole class period nitpicking people’s translations, and I can’t read most of the kanji so if I lose my place I can’t find the sentence we are on, and it happens a lot so trying to write the corrections is pretty much impossible unless I have perfect focus the entire time!!! also I can barely understand my teacher and everyone sitting around me is usually just as confused!!

ok honestly fuck this computer science shit I don’t understand  it at all and I’m so behind I’m not even going to do my assignment tonight I’m just gonna suffer. It’s whatever. What I am going to do, however, is pretty much read the entire book between now and next week so I know what’s going on with my next assignment.

one thing I hate about my major and academia in general is how much exhaustion is normalized. comp sci students spend almost every night in the lab until 2-3am to complete their coursework and this is considered normal and expected behavior. profs should be way more concerned about this!! we shouldn’t all be exhausted and sleep deprived and stressed 24/7 that isn’t realistic or healthy!!

How does one go about signifying to a person or persons that one is delighted by said person’s/persons’ company, and would like to initiate the movement from the stage “acquaintance” to that of “friend” or, if said person/persons would allow it, “close friend”?

More importantly, how does one go about this business without seeming like a babbling fool?

3

So last night my friend http://vandenbrg.tumblr.com/ wanted some more pieces to her Luna Lovegood Halloween costume. Even though it was like 8 at night, we walked along the highway to Walmart anyway cause we’re rebels like that. And I ended up buying the most last minute Halloween costume you could imagine. But hey, I think it’s great! ^_^ Now for some trick or treating!

So I found a shul last night

I mean, I didn’t find it. I was at an arts festival and there was a tent with these nice ladies from this synagogue, and I took a flyer and have been meaning to go ever since, but last night I finally was able to go.

It was amazing.

I almost cried because for the first time in over 3 years I was back in a Jewish community where people really cared about one another. There was ruach with people singing harmonies to the prayers, an interactive discussion of the week’s parsha during the service, and when we said the hamozi, everyone formed this kind of chain so that everyone was connected to someone who was touching the challah. The service was amazing. Even though most of the melodies were different, the words were the same, and it was so comforting.

Everyone was so kind to me and even though it was my first time there, I felt like I was coming home. It’s made me think about what it means to be Jewish without a community, something I was trying to do for most of my time here at school, and while it’s certainly not meaningless, it’s incredibly lonely and kind of dismisses a large part of what we tend to value.

Through all the shit that happened throughout our history, we have only come to value our community more and more, and it makes me think that what my dad used to tell me was certainly true:

“I can be anywhere in the world, lost, without knowing a single soul, but when I step into a synagogue on Shabbat, I will always find family.”