Tommy-boy

  • *Cops are coming after JD and Veronica.*
  • Veronica: What are you doing?!
  • JD: I got an idea.
  • *JD veers off road*
  • Cop 1: What the hell?
  • JD: When I stop the car, run out screaming.
  • Veronica: No problem.
  • JD: Little trick my dad taught me....
  • *JD stops car in field and they run out screaming*
  • JD: BEES! BEES IN THE CAR! BEES EVERYWHERE! GOD, THEY'RE HUGE! THEY'RE RIPPING MY FLESH OFF!
  • Cop 1: Son......roll around! Do you hear me? Roll around on the ground!
  • JD: FORGET THAT, I'M STARTING TO SWELL UP!
  • Veronica: Save yourself, JD! Don't be the hero!
  • Cop 2: Frank, I'm allergic to bees.
  • Cop 1: Me too.....
  • JD: They're huge and they sting crazy!!!!
  • Cop 1: Uh....We'll come back later to check on you!
  • JD: Save yourselves! Your firearms are useless against them!
  • *cops get in car and drive off*
  • JD: Holy shnikees, it worked!
tom riddle headcanon

A/N: I’m writing this bc I just had a nightmare where tom was trying to kill me but I killed him sooo no sleep for me tonight!! :))))

just imagine tom riddle had a kid, and he actually fell in love and never became voldemort

and one day his daughter was going thru their scrapbook and old pictures of her parents

then she comes across this moving picture

and she gives an impressed look and blurts out, “damn dad, you were hot”

then her mom giving her the sternest look ever thought possible while tom just chuckles