Todd Gordon

somegh0st  asked:

How would the batfam be like as friends as close/best friends? ??

Bruce: he wouldn’t be all too expressive in his affections as a friend, but he would definitely convey his feelings through his actions. He would make sure to get super personal gifts for birthdays and whatnot, he’d go to events that his friend wanted to go to (so long as it didn’t interfere with Batman things), all of which makes it clear that he’s a good friend

Dick: totally the friend that makes awful puns and jokes just to try and make others laugh, especially when he notices that they’re feeling a bit down. He’s one of those friends that offers dubious advice that could possibly get you arrested but his intentions are in the right place

Jason: the friend that consistently insults the other but then if anyone were to say anything even remotely negative about the other, he would not hesitate to fight the person. The friend that only speaks in sarcasm but will sometimes (once in a blue moon) offer consoling advice and whatnot

Tim: the meme friend; he will send screenshots of memes at like three am just so his friend will laugh if he knows they had a bad day. Will often talk about how he’s procrastinating (if his friend also procrastinates, they use each other as an excuse to keep procrastinating by having a long conversation) or will message when deliriously tired and it just sounds like he’s drunk

Damian: very curt and serious, but would totally die for his close friends. Is often stoic when doing things with his friends but can occasionally be seen smiling (nobody has been able to capture this in physical evidence, but it has happened). He’s definitely a good listener and will attempt to help solve issues (if anyone hurts his friend though, he will go and harm that person)

Steph: the impulsive friend that would actively try to get her friends to step out of their comfort zone and live a little. She would be the one to get her friends to do new things, eat things that maybe shouldn’t be eaten, and become more adventurous. Also takes a lot of photos with her best friend(s)

Cass: she’s very quiet by nature, so she’s the one that would be great in times of emotional distress because she’s a shoulder to cry on and someone who is willing to listen. She can convey a lot in very few words so she’s the friend that would be able to make her friend feel very comforted and safe

Duke: he’s the nerdy friend that would go on rants with his friend(s) about the time within a fictional world compared to ours or some random thing that most people may not usually talk about. He would be great for deep conversations about what you experience after you die or things like that (it would be funny if his friend, who doesn’t know he’s Lark, asks what aliens might be like and he just has to pretend that he doesn’t know actual aliens like Supes and the Martian Manhunter)

Babs: she’s definitely the chill friend that would be great to hang out with and just chill, maybe watch a tv series with. She’s also great to vent with because she can be so salty it’s insane (plus she is entirely capable of ruining people’s lives so it’s all the more amusing to see her pull out receipts if she and her friend get in an argument with another person)

anonymous asked:

What would Everyones reaction be to finding out bruce has a long lost daughter who is just a tad younger then Grayson.

-they would all be a bit surprised because this gal is definitely a “long lost” daughter who just showed up out of the blue and announced that Bruce was her dad

- and then once the shock wore off, they would all give Bruce so much shit because “What the hell Bruce! You always tell us how to be safe and whatnot and yet you have two biological kids now that you didn’t even know about” and Bruce would be trying to figure out the details of who this kid might be

-at first the kids would be a bit wary and distrustful of her, seeing as she could’ve come along at any point and she chose this exact moment to be discovered/known. Each kid would come to get over this at different times, with Damian and Jason taking the longest to accept/trust her

-Babs would run numerous background checks and do in-depth research to make sure that this kid is who she said she is. Bruce definitely imprinted his distrustful nature on his kids/proteges 

-After everyone gets used to the “new kid” they would totally try to get her as accustomed to the insane nature of the family (maybe they would get her involved in vigilantism but it depends on how she feels and if Bruce is okay with it/her knowing because again, he’s not very trusting of people)

Batfamily as things my family has said

Barbara: “If you eat that piece of bacon I swear to god this friendship is over" 

Dick: *sneaks up on unsuspecting sibling* *randomly drops and crushes said sibling with all their weight* "HUMPBACK WHALE!!!" 

Jason: "Hey come here, I have to tell you a secret. Closer. Little closer.” *sticks tongue in their ear* 

Cass: “I’m sorry but I really don’t like you and I want you to stay outside of my house or maybe just be dead and burn in the darkest pits of hell please" 

Tim: *loses battery for the remote* "WHY WON’T GOD JUST FREAKING LET ME DIE I THINK I’VE EARNED IT BY NOW" 

Stephanie: *accidentally sets fire to counter* "You know, maybe you shouldn’t play with fire anymore” “Yeah, maybe-” *lights match* “-but not today" 

Damian: "You know once a kid dared me to stick up the middle finger in kindergarten and I did and the second I did it he called the teacher and she made me sit out recess that day and this is why I have trust issues" 

Alfred: *banging pots and pans* "GET THE FRICK DOWNSTAIRS YOU PEASANTS I MADE CUPCAKES AND NEED VALIDATION ON MY BAKING ABILITIES" 

Bruce: "hOw DaRe YoU dIsReSpEct mE!!! i aM tHe KiNg Of tHiS LiViNg RoOm!!!" 

7

that’s what people had in mind with the prompt “handcuffs” right? i’m sorry, it was funny in my head

(it’s right past midnight here but it’s still the 14th somewhere isn’t it? so i am not late)

Batfam Week: Wayne Gala!

When all the guests had left, Bruce brought out the old record player and danced with his kids to songs from the 50s. Some favorites include Beyond the Sea (Bobby Darin), Hound Dog (Elvis Presley), At the Hop (Danny & the Juniors), Sh-Boom (The Chords), and Rockin’ Robin (Bobby Day)!

Bat-Kids React to BatCat Engagement
  • Dick: Super-excited, just wants his dad to be happy. Throws himself into wedding preparation. Lives for this. Takes cake-tasting far more seriously than either the bride or groom.
  • Jason: Passive-aggressive questioning in the fake voice of a 10-year-old, just to annoy Bruce. Is not actually worried about whether he'll have to share his room with the cats. Selina finds it hilarious. Bruce is unamused.
  • Tim: "...You know, I knew something ridiculous was going to happen while I was not-dead. This wasn't even in the top twenty worst-case scenarios, so...congrats?"
  • Cass: Quietly super-happy. Subtly works cat motifs into her costume. Tags along with Selina on patrol.
  • Steph: "About time. This house needs some more feminine energy. They're always ganging up on me."
  • "Stephanie, you don't even live here."
  • "New mommy, dad's being mean to me again."
  • Damian: Is mainly worried about Alfred the cat and how he'll react to his new step-cats.
  • Duke: Polite, welcoming, genuinely congratulatory. Also practical. Makes sure all the valuable Wayne Manor paintings are secured to the wall. Especially any with a cat in them.
  • Harper: Takes over bachelorette party planning. Has binders of blackmail material on Bruce to show Selina. This is her moment.
  • Barbara: Is just glad the tabloids will stop shipping her and Batman.

Headcanon that the batkids hide under Bruce’s cape ALL the time. When they get cold on patrol, when they’re scared of a particularly creepy villain, when they get tired and need a warm, dark place to hide, they can always be found in Bruce’s cape, hanging onto his back like a koala. One time Hal and Barry were at the watchtower just hanging out when they saw something move under Batman’s cape. Assuming it was an alien parasite out to kill the dark knight by sucking his brains out, Barry pulled off the cape to reveal not one, not two, but three of Bruce’s kids huddled under there playing a game of Uno. It was a mystifying experience.  

5

Batkids on their playdates team missions!

A few fun facts:

  • Roy often skips Boy Scout meetings to hang out with Kori and Jason (Don’t tell Ollie)
  • Kyle Rayner is usually hanging with the Troublemakers but had a cold on this particular day and Hal wouldn’t let him leave the house.
  • Cass is wearing Bruce’s old costume (here) that she found in the attic while playing hide and seek with her brothers. Alfred has since made a few alterations to it, of course.
  • That stuffed cat looking thing behind Damian was made by Dick. Alfred has been teaching him how to sew and he practices by making tons of plush for his siblings! (They’re finally starting to look like actual animals)
  • Don’t worry, Alfred fixed Mr. Moo.
Some Batdad Headcanons

- When Dick first came to live with him, Bruce purchased a bunch of parent help books. He buys new ones with each kid he adopts, and no matter how much he studies he’s always unprepared for his psychotic children and their antics. 

- Everyone assumes Stephanie is his daughter and every time someone mentions it he and Steph are both thoroughly grossed out by the thought. 

- Damian shows Bruce his drawings sometimes, and every time, much to Damian’s embarrassment, Bruce insists on hanging them on the fridge. 

- The cabinets at Wayne Manor are filled to the brim with World’s Best Dad mugs. 

- Jason owns a Dad’s Little Stinker t-shirt. 

- When they were younger, Bruce used to let his Robins ride on his back if they got tired on patrol. 

- Tim falls asleep in random places when he’s particularly sleep-deprived, and each time Bruce will sigh tiredly before picking him up and carrying him up to his room, planning on drugging his coffee to get him to sleep more often.   

- Once he had to tie Damian to a post when he was misbehaving on patrol. 

- The first time Jason called him “Dad”, (on accident, mind you), he legit cried and hugged him for ten minutes straight. 

- He rarely has a bed to himself because his kids always invade his room at night and insist on sleeping with him. 

- He brags about Tim all the time to his coworkers, and it only got worse after Tim actually started working at Wayne Enterprises. At least once a day Bruce will go to Tim’s office and ask how his “little slugger” is doing. 

- He lets Cass paint his nails and isn’t afraid to leave the nail polish on because he’s so proud of how good of a job she did. Everyone is too intimidated to make fun of him for it.

- Even though he’s in his twenties and has an apartment of his own, Dick will still drive all the way to Gotham and sleep in Bruce’s bed when he has nightmares. 

- Bruce attends every single one of his kids’ graduations and award ceremonies, even the pointless ones that nobody really cares about. He will be there cheering in the front row every time.  

- Bruce was surprised that Barbara gave a Father’s Day gift to him in addition to her own father. 

- He carries around a bunch of pictures of his children in his batbelt and likes showing them to the criminals he arrests. Poison Ivy makes sure he keeps her up to date on how Nightwing is doing, and Two Face loves hearing about Red Robin’s whereabouts.     

Alfred “sass to deal with this” Pennyworth

Bruce “yes these are all my children” Wayne

Dick “I am like the mom of the friends” Grayson

Jason “I died once and will remind you often” Todd

Tim “I am too tired for this” Drake

Barbara “badass and smart” Gordon

Stephanie “don’t tell me what to do” Brown

Cassandra “you don’t stand a chance” Cain

Harper “I dare you to” Row

Kate “don’t doubt me cause I will kick your butt” Kane

Duke “I can do this” Thomas

Damian “I prefer animals over people” Wayne