To-love-at-all-is-to-be-vulnerable

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

- C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

To love at all is to be vulnerable - ch. 4

I know, it’s been a while. Sorry *bows head in shame*. But I hope you like the new chapter anyway.

As always, thank you for reading the story!

Love, Jules xx


Half an hour and two bowls of stew later – if it had been up to Bill, Laura would have eaten a third one, she hadn’t missed the looks he had given her when he had arrived earlier that day, noticing how thin she looked even though she was wearing several layers of wool clothes – they both settled on the thick rug in front of the fireplace that Laura had gotten from one of her students’ parents. Glancing at Bill who was staring into the partly hidden flames with a relaxed smile on his face, Laura scooted over to where he was sitting after a few minutes. He didn’t turn his face to look at her, but simply tucked her into his side and pulled her even closer to his body. When Laura hummed contentedly and leaned her head against his chest, her arm draped across his belly, she could feel Bill’s smile grow wider against her head.

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To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
—  C.S. Lewis
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
—  C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
—  C.S. Lewis
“To love at all is to be vulnerable”, ch. 5

Sorry about the delay, real life struck again. Hope you’ll have fun with a tiny new chapter of my NC fic ;-)

Jules xx


Her inhibitions towards their physical and emotional closeness were melting away as unstoppably as her own desire was flaring up inside. She gave in to his assault on her lips, to his hands roaming freely over her breasts, and to the hard length that was pressing into her abdomen.

Thoughts? What were thoughts? Why bother with anything when she, for all she knew, might only have one more night on the frakking planet, one night that for once would make her forget everything and that would make her feel something other than the cold creeping up her spine and her anxiety for their future strangling her? No, this was her life and as Laura, she had every damn right to be selfish, now that people had decided they didn’t want her to be the one guiding them through whatever lay ahead.

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The Amazing Power Of Vulnerability

What does it mean to be truly vulnerable?

This question has been on my mind a lot lately. Being vulnerable means letting your guard down, and it means risk. By completely exposing yourself and expressing your thoughts and feelings, you risk being hurt, you risk being rejected, and you risk being seen. Understandably, many people find being vulnerable challenging and frightening, particularly men, at least in my experience. They often have a more difficult time showing or expressing emotion, having been told by society, their parents, or their friends that it’s not ‘manly’ to do so. It’s not uncommon for men to feel weak or effeminate when expressing emotion, so often they lock it all away and bear the burden of holding on to so much. But there is such power in being able to be absolutely vulnerable with someone, and deep connections are made in this way.

As C.S. Lewis once said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

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To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
—  C.S. Lewis

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

~C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves.
Photo: Magdalen College, Oxford.

C.S. Lewis was a Fellow at Magdalen from 1925-54. A memorial stone to writer and scholar was placed in Poets’ Corner in Westminster Abbey on 22 November 2013, the 50th anniversary of his death.

anonymous asked:

ok sorry, still me, I just have one more thing... I'm always reading about INTJs sort of avoiding love, seeing it as pointless and stupid. I think dating someone just to have a partner is certainly pointless, but every now and then I do start to crave interaction a little. I know if I'm not careful, I could get hurt, but I don't want to be alone forever. I just... don't know how to flirt, or how to show someone that I do actually care about things at all.

Love asks are the most complex, but here’s the thing

1) “I don’t want to get hurt” INTJ anxiety

Fore some reason, I ended up having more experiences in romantic relationships than the average INTJ. What I’ve learned is that, as they say in my country “you can’t have both a full barrel and a drunk wife”. 

I mean, you can have something with little value, not get attached and leave with no feelings but at least not hurt either, OR you can connect with someone, get involved and likely hurt. So if you want to be “careful not to get hurt”, you’ll likely never experience anything of the second type, and - at least in my opinion - that would be a waste. C.S.S. Lewis, fellow INTJ, said: “To love at all, is to be vulnerable”. 

I’ve had one shot at what could have been a good relationship and I screwed up because I was afraid of getting hurt. I hope my advice will help someone not to end up in the same situation.

Truth is, relationships are a lot of effort and probably even more effort for INTJs. But sometimes they’re worth it. So when you get the courage to get into one, live it to its fullest, and try to push down the fear. Let your partner help you maybe. Just don’t give up. You might discover yourself vulnerable, but some people say it’s a strength, not a burden. I, too, shall see.

2) Flirting and all that stuff

Flirting, like swimming, is a skill. Some you throw into water and spontaneously know what to do, others drown like rocks at first. What’s important is that everyone can learn it, even the most hopeless type.

You might not get to an ESFP’s level, but INTJs can learn everything so I’m confident you will too. I was in the hopeless category so I looked some things up on the internet and started practicing when on a date. At first, I felt stiff and fake, but apparently that wasn’t perceived from the outside. In the long rung, I started feeling more confident. It’s still something I don’t always like, but its utility is undeniable.

Summing up, internet is there for you. Don’t be shy and learn.

3) Showing affection INTJ style

INTJs (as other TJs) have the weirdest way of showing affection. They will rather do things for you than telling you. They will try to solve all your life’s problems, re-organize your schedule, and give you tons of attentions. 

So how do you show it to others you ask.

I’ve struggled with it personally and I came to the conclusion that if the person you’re with is smart enough, they will understand that’s your way of loving. So don’t mind it too much. If they need some reinforcement, use your Te to express your feelings. It might be blunt and a bit too direct, but for some reason some people find it cute.

In conclusion, be yourself. Show your affection in the way it comes more natural to you, just sprinkle some compliment or nice word here and there. 

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
—  C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
— 

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Just beautiful.

Getting Started on the journey from me to WE...

Welcome!

At some point next week, we will post a thread on “Essential Practice 1 - Gratitude” (page 5), but before we can begin on the Essential Practices (read: exercises), it’s important that we prepare ourselves ahead of time.

Spend this weekend doing things that make you happy and bring you joy. Indulge yourself. Rest. Eat. Exercise. And then rest again. Be kind to yourself. This book will take you on an emotional roller coaster, and it can’t hurt to mentally prepare for the journey ahead.

If you have the book, feel free to skim through it. It’s okay to start reading ahead. Many have already finished. We will work the program together, and move at a pace that feels comfortable. Some Practices/Principles might only take a week. Others might take 2-3 weeks to allow people the time they need to work the exercises with the appropriate amount of emotional support and rest. This is a journey. Not a race. WE Women are in this together.

If you want to, go ahead and read pages xiii-4. It’s only 14 pages total. These pages go into the background behind the book, as well as give you an idea of what to expect in the Practices and Principles. 

Familiarize yourself with the breathing technique on page 4. Start practicing it throughout your day. Take note of how it makes you feel. This technique is used throughout the book, and is also a great preset to the practice of meditation.

You will need a journal/spiral notebook/pad of paper in order to complete the exercises. If writing in the dirt is more your style, then hey, you do you. But sometimes, it DOES call for paper for a purpose (like folding, and yes, even burning), so have some at the ready, just in case.

Be prepared to take notes and mark up your book. Get some tabs, some colorful pens and highlighters. Mark that puppy up with notes and tabs and segments that called to you. You’re gonna feel called out. You’re gonna feel inspired. You’re going to want to throw the book across the room, and you’re not going to want to put it down.


This book club is only as good as the people who contribute. So have questions and comments handy. Make a note of what segments made you feel uncomfortable, or inspired you. What scared you? What humbled you? It’s OKAY to feel these things.


You can contribute to the blog in a number of ways:

1. Use your own blog to reblog/reply/submit content/comments/feedback for the group. Give us pictures, give us moments. Again, the more people contribute, the more successful this will be (not to mention foster a feeling of support and love amongst all of us in sharing our vulnerabilities)

2. Send feedback via anon (but you are limited to a 500 character limit).

3. Send us an email with your content: wewomenbookclub@gmail.com - This is an option for those of you who want to remain anonymous in your content. The moderators will be responsible for posting the content you email us, and we will do so as an anonymous submission.

What kind of submissions do we want? Anything that you feel is relevant to what we are discussing. Find something that inspires you? Gimme. Want to share a story with the class? Bring it. Want to tell us how this chapter is bullshit and you can’t wait until it’s over? That’s okay too. Want to tell us how much it’s changed you? Even better. WE want it all.

If you have any questions or comments, please let us know!! WE can’t wait ladies!!

To love at all is to be vulnerable, love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make of keeping it intact…you must give your heart to no one not even an animal…lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -safe, dark, motionless, airless-It will change, it will not be broken it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
—  C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
—  C. S. Lewis
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.
—  C. S. Lewis

anonymous asked:

I just cant trust anyone. I have a best guy friend, I told him almost everything. Almost. I dont know why but I have a feeling that one day, everything I told someone will be exposed and then now I cannot trust anyone. I dont want anybody to know the real me, to understand me too much. But sometimes, because they dont then I feel like I'm being left out

Hey. I feel like that too sometimes. You know how I make these comics, and they’re very clearly about some of my most intimate experiences? I put them out there for everyone to see, and often that includes people I know in real life. Tbh I haven’t sat down and thought about that fact too much because it kind of terrifies me. I’m not usually very comfortable with people knowing details about my life. We all curate to some degree. But I like to think that the messages I’ve received from friends/family/acquaintances over the years, the ones that have started like “Hey Skye… I just stumbled over your comics, and I’ve never told anyone this but I’ve been struggling with depression too….” are worth the risk of sharing the truth. It’s definitely hard to trust people, and I understand that trusting specific people is a little different from opening up to the general public. I just hope that, if one day you do decide to be vulnerable, that you are rewarded instead of disappointed. 

I’ve hung on tightly to a lot of quotes in my life but this is one that has taken a long time to learn from and agree with. I just thought it was applicable here:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

– C.S. Lewis

Best of luck.