To-love-at-all-is-to-be-vulnerable

it’s a weird experience being a writer or anyone who writes about their life on a website like this. we’re essentially putting our vulnerability front and center, and saying “these are all the sharp edges of me i can’t talk about and all the wounds i don’t know how to heal yet”. and strangely, there’s a certain kind of safety in that. there’s an openness, a relief, a feeling of being in control. and maybe it’s just me, but sometimes it’s easier to scream something into the void than it is to look into the eyes of someone you love and tell them what scares you most in a steady voice.

Inside Out

It’s a remarkable thing –
thrilling and, simultaneously, incredibly frightening.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand –
plant in me the tree of knowledge;
grant me a boon of comprehension;
make me as enlightened as the gods
but the mystery behind your eyes
will for eternity evade my sleuthing;

how, unlike anyone on earth
or any element known to mankind,
you’re in a constant flux of change.

These eyes of yours in this mirror
speak fluent a language vulnerable,
unchecked, unguarded, unabashed.

Should I hope to see this phenomenon up close
I find that which was there is no where;
In its place is a chiseled sculpture
masked marble, grated granite
revealing nothing, not even
the touch of its maker;

And how I still want to touch
exactly that which is out of reach
as if the forbidden peach
taunting from its palace in the highest canopy;

Then I too shall have my soul
transform into a homing pigeon
to commute the great distance
to communicate the simplest message
to bring you back down to me.

Then you too will accept:
It’s a remarkable thing –
thrilling and, simultaneously, incredibly frightening

How love can turn a person inside out

anonymous asked:

How do you think Hisoka, Chrollo, Illumi, Morel, Kurapika, Leorio, and Phinks would react or what do you think they would do if they were playing strip poker with their s/o? Sorry if this is too many characters. Thank you V and I love your blog in all its entirety! :D

Behold!

———-

Strip Poker with S/O reactions:

Keep reading

What a trick- love.
The act of giving one human all of your vulnerable tendencies.
Promises that were kept for months, and then one quiet day out of no where we start telling people.
We start splurging on words, sentences, paragraphs, chapters, books of someone else’s past. Someone else’s secret.
Selling to the market of gossip columnists.
Spreading rumors across fields of poppies.
Like we once laid in
Where we told each other those secrets.
The poppies promised to play along. Keeping secrets and time with the wind.
They have betrayed us now
They’re spreading our secrets across the world like pollen.
Or maybe that’s you.
With your slippery finger tips painting weak across my forehead.
Because I was never strong enough to let go of our love.
Even when it was toxic and I was pouring gasoline into flasks.
Taking shots of something stronger than my aching heart.
I could never let go because I refused to let go of love because I didn’t want to end up like my parents.
I refused to let go of love because I never thought I would find it again (like my parents)

Toxic as it was it was there.
You can’t deny that.
You can’t tell me it was all a lie.
It was real
It was dangerous.
But it was real

—  Stop Sharing our Secrets on Social Media (2/8/2016)
Step On Down

wander delicate, but fierce
place one foot before the other,
and watch where you step.

it could be someone’s home
or all that someone’s known.

do not shatter walls, but seek doors,
for this place is a temple. take no torches
but adjust the eyes, for this place is enormous.

do not seek echoes in these caverns
for what returns
is a different
kind of darkness.

be thoughtful, wanderer.
step with love
step with caution
but go forth all the same.

XXXIX

Lexa doesn’t kneel before Clarke in private because she’s scared that her word will be held against her; she does it because she’s being open, honest, and vulnerable in a way she’s never been before. By kneeling before Clarke, Lexa is completely giving all her power, all her trust, all her might, all her faith, all of herself, to Clarke. Lexa is letting Clarke know that she thinks of them as equals, both leaders, both strong. Lexa is reassuring Clarke that she’ll never betray her again because their union has made them one. Lexa is offering a vow that goes beyond just words. By kneeling before Clarke, Lexa is bringing down the walls she has carefully built around her heart and she’s telling her: ‘I’m here and I love you and I will wait for you for as long as I have to.’
—  Dened Rey’s ‘Boom! Bows! and Wow, What a Masterpiece!A Review of The 100’s 3x03: “Ye Who Enter Here"’ (TalkNerdywithUs)
6

How can he ignore me like this?

This moment

Lexa loves Clarke. Thats indisputable. Lexa overlooked her advisers advice multiple times just to never have to chose between Clarke and her people because now they are one and the same. She had other reasons to make skikru the 13th clan, thats true. Whatever she does is layered, but when she instantly promised never to hurt Clarke again and fucking got on her knees there wasn’t layers. That was her, telling Clarke, the girl she loves that she will never hurt her. There was no “Im doing this to save all of our people.” There was no “We need to work together to survive.” All it was was Lexa professing her love for Clarke. Which BY THE WAY was the most vulnerable possible position she could put herself in. She gave all of herself to Clarke. She will NEVER abandon her again.

What People Don’t Normally Notice About the Signs

Aries: You are very caring and loving. You know what to say to make people smile when they’re in a bad mood. You can be very self-destructive, though not many people know that about you. When you get depressed, you tend to shut off all emotions (good or bad). I would say you’re the most loving sign.

 Taurus: You absolutely hate being weak and vulnerable. But you have to let your guard down some time. You’re also very hypocritical and purposely cause problems for yourself. But on the bright side, if anyone is in need for an awakening or advice you should be the first person they go to. I would say you’re the most opinionated.

Gemini: You can surprisingly be very caring. Though you don’t like to let people know you care. You go to other people to see how a person is doing, you never go to that person to see. Lot’s of people think you’re an asshole, but honestly I think you do that to guard yourself. I would say you’re the most emotional.

Cancer: You don’t really fit in with others. Everyone always say how mature and motherly Cancers are. But I don’t know how wrong they could be. You’re a kid at heart despite how old you are. There’s just something so youthful about your aura. I would say you’re the most fun loving and kid-like sign.

Leo: Despite a huge ego, you are probably the most caring out of any of the zodiac. No matter what, you always are there for someone regardless if you’re struggling with someone. Some people may not know that even though you are very extroverted, you have many characteristics of an introvert. 

Virgo: You help so many people. Extremely generous with almost everyone. But you tend to run away and avoid your problems instead of facing them. You never give anytime for yourself. Make time for yourself. Pamper yourself just for the hell of it. I don’t know just do something for yourself. You’re probably the most selfless out of the zodiac.

Libra: You’re attention span is very short. Metaphorically, you’d be playing with one object then drop to out of no where because you see a newer object. Also, you tend to do very dangerous things just for the adrenaline rush/the good feeling. I would have to say you’re the most reckless sign.

Scorpio: You can easily cut people off if you find one thing you don’t like about that person. You don’t allow other to read your emotions, you see that as a sign of weakness. You are a power hungry person and will do absolutely anything to achieve what you want. You are the most cold hearted out of the signs.

Sagittarius: When you aren’t mad over petty stuff, you’re pretty chill. You’re very ambitious and motivated to get you where you want to be. Not to mention, when a family member or friend is feeling down you know how to comfort them. Sagittarius would be the most comforting/welcoming of the zodiac.

Capricorn: You like to act so emotionless all the time. You plan out everything for your future. I believe it’s because you’re scared of the unknown. If something out of the blue happened you would be a wreck on the inside. Yet you’re wise beyond your years. You’re so philosophical and intelligent. I would have to say you’re the wisest of the zodiac.

Aquarius: You like to plan out every detail to every plan to make sure you won’t get blamed for anything. You’re extremely sneaky and cunning. You’ll figure stuff out about people and use it against them. You’re the most manipulative of the zodiac.

Pisces: You’re an adorable little fucker and you use that to your advantage sometimes. You like to hurt someone then tell that person they’re not hurting. Even though you can be very sweet, you can be very cruel for no reason. You stab someone in the back then act like you’re the one who was bleeding. You’re the most victimizing sign.

******NOTE: I AM DOING THIS BASED OFF MY OBSERVATION SKILLS. I DID THE SCORPIO ONE BASED OFF ME SINCE I’M A SCORPIO. I’M SORRY IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT. I JUST WANTED TO POINT OUT STUFF NO ONE ELSE POINTS OUT.

who you should fight: Gotham villains edition
  • joker:i cannot stress enough how necessary it is that you fight the joker. please, for the love of god fight the joker. hit him with a crowbar. have you seen how skinny this man is? how pale? he clearly doesn't go out in the sun enough, making him vulnerable to attacks. please kick his ass. wipe the clown face paint right off of his smug face. do it for jason todd. do it for barbara gordon. do it for all of us.
  • harley quinn:i know that harley has done a lot of bad things, but please don't fight her. she's still trying to recover from the joker, and she deserves a break. please let harley rest with her gf. also lbr harley has the stamina of a bull, have you seen how many cartwheels she can do? have you seen the size of that hammer? good luck buddy. also she will psychoanalyze you in the middle of the fight and you will start crying. don't fight harley.
  • poison ivy:why would you try to fight the literal embodiment of mother nature? we are surrounded by plants? don't fight ivy, she will kick your ass. also, unless she's provoked, ivy is pretty cool. remember that time she protected all those kids? leaf her alone. remember: leaves of three, let it be.
  • scarecrow:crane is ridiculously skinny, a strong breeze could knock him over. it would be an easy win, as long as he doesn't get his needles in you. but would it be worth it? it's an empty win. i have no strong feelings about scarecrow. fight scarecrow if you want to.
  • catwoman:lmao good luck buddy this woman runs around a city in HEELS, she will knock you out and then step over your body to go rob a jewelry store. don't fight selina. i'm also like 99% sure that if you fight her every single cat in gotham will have it in for you. do you know how many cats are probably in gotham? enough to kill you dead. don't fight selina.
  • killer croc:DONT FIGHT KILLER CROC HE EATS PEOPLE WHAT THE FUCK!!! also he was bullied as a child :( BUT HE ALSO EATS PEOPLE! DO NOT FIGHT KILLER CROC.
  • the riddler:i mean sure, why not. eddie does have a chance to reform, but he can also be pretty annoying, so i say go for it. fight the riddler. ask him a riddle and while he's distracted, go right for the jaw. one punch is probably all it will take to take him out. but fair warning, he'll probably get petty revenge by like signing you up for a bunch of spam email. either way, it's worth it. fight the riddler.
  • two face:please fight two face i hate his ugly suit. steal his quarter during mid coin-flip. quote the law at him. batman doesn't like fighting dent because they used to be friends, but we have no such qualms. tbh i bet harvey is a gemini, which is just extra incentive to fight two face. but watch out for his gun. and his second gun. please fight him.
  • mr. freeze:honestly, i feel really bad for mr. freeze and his wife. but also, cool_motive_still_murder.gif. fighting mr. freeze will be pretty hard because of the literal freezer he's wearing, and honestly, would it be even worth it? he's just a very sad man underneath it all. fight mr. freeze, but your heart won't be in it.
  • bane:lmao good luck my dude. bane could be holding a teddy bear while he breaks your back, and that will somehow make the whole thing even more terrifying. don't fight bane.
You know what’s the most terrifying thing about admitting that you’re in love? You’re just naked. You put yourself in harm’s way and you lay down all your defenses. No clothes, no weapons. Nowhere to hide, completely vulnerable. The only thing that makes it tolerable is to believe the other person loves you back and you can trust them not to hurt you.
8

#honestly i cry periodically dont even#jacob peralta loves so hard and fast and deep#he has such a huge heart#and is so goddamn compassionate and emotionally vulnerable#but his experiences have all left him giving more than he gets#and honestly he doesnt know how NOT to give too much#so in order to pretend like he does you see him put zero effort into like#all of his ‘romantic’ relationships in s1#but thats the thing#if he tried even a little bit hed be in too deep#he tells charles that he goes full boyle and it always ends in heartbreak#but jake? jake goes full boyle just as much as charles does#maybe its a little more subtle#maybe its a little less crazy#but damn does he love people hook line and sinker with his whole being#and you know what? how many times just WITHIN the show has that ended up in heartbreak#(forget pre canon possibilities)#so hes surprised when people care about him as much as he cares about them#i really really REALLY need amy santiago to say ‘i love you’ first and mean it with her whole being (via @phil-the-stone) [x]

vulnerable scorpios can destroy what they love the most - a person, their body, their mind, or their integrity. a scorpio who has tumbled into a well of self destructiveness can teeter on the edge of obliteration waiting for a hand to drag them back to the surface. the bottom is where scorpio takes their deepest breaths, waiting for the sorcery in their spirit to conjure something wild. when they lose their body and all sense of self they find their soul. and it’s something a scorpio can really feel if they go deep enough, they can feel the electricity of infinity charging through them, they have a real intimacy with the cosmos that reside within. intimacy is more than sex with scorpio. it involves unwrapping secrets, scars, and skin until nothing is left but subjection and exposure

During hardships and calamities, it is natural to get swept away by the affliction of the moment. During such trials of faith, unless we are careful, Satan can inject fear and plant doubts in our hearts and minds.

Our beliefs in such vulnerable states may become overpowered by feelings of the moment resulting in the dwindling of our faith. Some of us start questioning the fairness and wisdom underlying such divine decisions while others get mired in a blame game.

All in all, we may find ourselves lost, helpless, and stalled finding it difficult to gather ourselves and move forward.

More Inspiration | www.lionofAllah.com

3

11x11 “Into the Mystic”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Oh Dean, Dean, Dean… Sam may let it slide, but you certainly cannot lie to yourself. The banshee came after you, because yes, you are vulnerable. And you have always been vulnerable, because despite that sarcasm and the walls to keep you safe, you carry your heart on your sleeve, always have. Probably always will. Cause your heart is your secret weapon. Still it all seems so familiar. Trying to make others and most of all yourself believe you are okay. The same way you tried after you killed Cain. Similarly to when you, Sam, Charlie and Cas sat at this table after you all thought the “Book of the Damned” burnt to dust. It was always just the moment before things went from bad to worse… ;____;

You were probably the rarest find i’ve ever made. Up until now I had been so distant and on gaurd but you? You got so close and broke through my barriers with ease and when you did you saw what I had been working so hard to protect…myself. You saw me at my most vulnerable, all the pain and suffering I kept behind locked doors. Im still clueless as to how you did it. Was it that smile? No..no..nothing as simple as that. Perhaps it was how comfortable you made me feel. You didn’t push answers out of me and somehow they all just came to you. You were that shoulder I could cry on and that ear I could borrow…No one has ever known me aswell as you do

2

11x11 “Into the Mystic”

“You know, I still can’t figure that out. I mean, banshees go after the vulnerable, right? So why did it go after you?”

“Heart vs. Mind and Love vs. Attraction” or “Why Dean (imo) Is Not Pining for Amara At All“

I am going to preface the following by saying this is just my interpretation, not THE interpretation. I have not checked my dash yet, but I can imagine the wank being massive after this episode and how people may have read Mildred’s pining line. While I do not want to raise false hopes, I will however still tell you why this line had nothing to do with Amara and I am saying this not as a Deancas fan, but merely as someone who enjoyed this episode.

The thing that stood out most to me in this episode was how well Robbie Thompson continued with where Andrew Dabb had left of one episode prior thematically. We left 11x10 “The Devil in the Details” with a heartfelt scene in which Rowena revealed under tears to a just as shaken up Crowley that she indeed has always loved him (just like deep down Crowley always loved her too), but had denied herself to listen to those feelings as to her love had become to mean “weakness”.

Arguably with this ending scene set up the quest for the latter half of the season: proving that love indeed is one of the biggest powers there is too. And Supernatural in one way or another has always been about love.

And not just one kind of love, but with a variety of facettes and nuances and showcased how even though you may swear yourself to never fall in love again, you heart may decide differently and you end up caught in the middle between heart and mind.

This very pair - heart vs. mind - is often played in opposition to one another. And in this episode highlighted by Mildred’s talk with Dean the narrative certainly made a stand in the debate, which of the two to rather trust or rely on as Mildred gave Dean the advice to “follow his heart”. Yet, both we have seen exploration of both aspects - the heart vs. the mind - in the episode and by Dean especially. The outro of the episode is lead into with the shot above and it does capture Dean being torn, caught in the middle between heart and mind, perfectly but is certainly given more gravitas when Dean finds he is unable to fall asleep and we see him sitting there deeply conflicted in the dark while the words “shine the light on me” wash over the scene - yet another pair of opposites, darkness and light.

As I talked about in relation to last week’s episode, to me Rowena’s got it wrong  since love does not make you weak, what it does is make you vulnerable. And that was the keyword of this episode given the banshee only attacked people who were/are vulnerable. And in this framework Thompson imo achieved masterfully to explore that this vulnerability did not have a whole lot to do with a physical sickness, but the emotional kind.

We have seen the banshee only attacked people she pegged to be “vulnerable” and in a fragile mindset and the two other victims aside from Dean (btw Dean being attacked by a banshee as a death omen does not bode well, just saying) were stand ins and examples for the fight that Dean is fighting within between heart and mind.

There was Harold, who was attacked. As far as I can remember (and please keep in midn I am typing this while having watched the episode once early this morning and something may slip by) he was not sick. He was however disliked among the other residents as he stole from them. And what he stole was not just anything, but viagara.

The second victim was the resident manager, who previously confessed to Dean that he had just split with his wife using emoticons and deeply regretting it (”I should have sent the heart”) and with that also spells ut a case of “heart vs. mind”.

So both victims prior to Dean were vulnerable in departments one would label “love stuff”. One focusing on the physical expression of it and pleasure and being more love adjacent while the other one focused on a meaningful relationship and emotional connection.

Withtin the structure of the episode these Dean parallels imo imply and are aligned as follows:

When Dean opens up to Lucifer!Cas about being unable to kill Amara and lacking the words to properly describe what is happening in these instances (and I have A whole LOT to say about that scene, but I’ll talk about this separately) Lucifer asks Dean if it is “attraction” he feels. And Dean replies helplessly that he doesn’t know and that it scares him. Not once it is framed in a positive light, but the thing that drives the point home to me is that we have the parallel to Harold here.

Harold was not looking for love when using viagra, he was looking for pleasure. It is aligned in this instance with “attraction”. He was not looking for an emotional connection the way the resident manager wanted and it for sure is not what Mildred talked about when knowing that Dean “is pining for someone else”. Of course this was meant to be ambiguous, but to me from the very first scene between Dean and Amara the show seemed very clear that there is a connection, a sort of tension between them, but it has NEVER been implied it was love. There is a difference between tension between two people and sexual tension and then also if one involves love or just curiousity.

Yes, there is tension between Dean and Amara (and even if it was of sexual nature which I NEVER felt the show implied) but it has nothing to do with a deep emotional connection. And in the end that is what Dean looks for. He does not look for attraction, he looks for where his heart leads him and if you ask me, this episode emphasized it stronger than ever before that it is not Amara Dean will be lead to if he follows it. I‘m not saying it is a safe bet it’s going to be Cas, cause no one can say that unless he is sitting in the writer’s room and knows what will come. But I know the show highlighted multiple times, over seasons, that Dean craves emotional connection, not a one night stand. And btw, just mentioning this as a side note, imo having sex has absolutely nothing to do with intimacy or love. There’s a differende between physical attraction and emotional connection. And Dean has showed multiple times what he would rather have and what he craves.

Okay, that’s it. Hate me for typing it, but I needed to get this out. Sorry!

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable…
— 

C.S Lewis.

4

Lexa being vulnerable around Clarke

“She angered the one person that she’s found some sort of sanctuary or solace with.” 

-Alycia Debnam-Carey

She apologises, she says she needs her, and Clarke (literally) spits in her face.

The look on her face is of nothing but care and love towards Clarke, and the way she reacts shows exactly how much she wants to make amends for her mistakes.

The great commander Lexa of the 12 clans is so whipped trying to find her sanctuary in Clarke again