Why don’t we have stuff like this anymore? Now it’s like “don’t do drugs, or you’ll burn in hell” or “OMG pizza will make you fat”. Like seriously the teenage mutant ninja turtles knew what was up.

  • Child:Mommy, why was I named Donatello?
  • Me:You see young child of mine, you were named after a famous Renaissance Italian sculptor from Florence. He is, in part, known for his work in bas-relief, a form of shallow relief sculpture that, in Donatello's case, incorporated significant 15th-century developments in perspectival illusionism.
  • Child:Cool! *runs off to tell friends*
  • Me:He must never know the truth