You Hate Me, You Love Me // part 2
Part 1 / Part Two
Raphael (2014/16) x Reader
Notes: Part two my babies! Ngl I completely forgot that I had to update this lmao. Finn Cole is the face-claim for Deran bc he’s hot as hell. @the-chick-with-the-best-fandom @girl-next-door-writes @kay-girl @edits-for-multifandoms @rainbowflames @sdavid09 @authorresker @pinkmousey @miraculous-ninja @leetah2999 @prm231 @mad-joker
Word count: 1169
Warnings: Swearing & lots and lots of angst
Disclaimer: I don’t own TMNT, and you belong to you <3
Bare feet danced around the tiled floor of your apartment, the hairdryer spraying your hair in every which way. The soothing sound of Taylor Swift’s voice echoed in the hallways of the barren home, as she sang about heartbreak and ‘never again’. Your parents had taken a long exotic island retreat to save some wild birds you hadn’t cared to remember the name of, leaving you to look after the home and yourself. The latter was a lot more difficult. You’d picked up nasty habits that included leaving your dirty laundry scattered around the place, and actively avoiding any route towards or near the lair. Considering you once went out of your way to travel to the familiar manhole cover, it was a drastic difference on your part. You hadn’t seen him since that night, nor did you really want to. It still burned in your chest, thinking about it.
His entire confession rocked the little iceberg you had made in your world, and your heels couldn’t stay put long enough to stop yourself from sinking. Sinking into a sea of loneliness and regret. Did you regret speaking to him the way you did? The regular ring of the microwave brought you out of your thoughts. Switching off the hairdryer, you slumped your way to the kitchen, humming the soft tune playing in the distance.
Tinder had become a big part of your socializing. You had the app before, but now it was almost as if you had become addicted to it. Flirting with strangers gave you a recognizable rush. You already knew where you felt it before, but you wouldn’t admit anything to yourself. Arguing with the red bandit was enjoyable to you, it was what you were good at. Even if the previous love-hate relationship did get on your nerves. Smiling to yourself at the memory, you hadn’t realized whom you had swiped right.
Two weeks later you were wearing a silver slip dress and black boots. Clubbing with none other than your ex-boyfriend, Deran. He was a massive asshole, but the charm that came with it always had you tripping over yourself. And more importantly, he didn’t tip your iceberg. In fact, he didn’t come anywhere near it. Deran stayed in his own lane, keeping his secrets to himself. He was a safe option. There was nothing to hide when you would hang out with him; the whole world was yours for the taking.
Watching him, watching you sip at your martini, and tap your foot to the beat of the song, gliding your fingers over your bare arms. He recognized these habits. Deran may be rude, selfish and conceited, but he wasn’t all bad and knowing you weren’t fully enjoying yourself pissed him off.
“The fuck is wrong with you?” he yelled over the thumping bass and the buzz of their surroundings. It seems you hadn’t heard him, so he yelled again: louder.
Again you were in your own little world, so taking your martini, setting it on the bar and dragging you outside, he yelled again.
“You’ve been mopey ever since we got here, what is your problem?” Rolling your eyes, you huffed and snatched his packet of cigarettes out of his hand. Another nasty habit you had picked up during your pity party: smoking. It wasn’t great, in fact you hated it, but the nicotine in your brain calmed you down whenever you thought about him.
“I’m not mopey.” You grumbled, lighting the stick between your lips, only to have it taken away by Deran. Glaring at you, he pushed you back against the wall. The bricks were cold and hard against your soft skin.
“One, you never smoke. Two, you hardly drink, or go clubbing for that matter! It’s why I liked you so much and now you- you’ve turned into this mess who only thinks about herself!” his tongue was sharp as it cut into you deep. He was right, but it’s not like you would admit that. Suddenly, a rush of adrenaline you haven’t felt in a while kicked into your system as you stared at the terrible, horrible man in front of you, who has hurt you in so many ways you lost count.
That’s when you found yourself taking a step towards him, your noses almost touching as you stared into his piercing eyes. He smelt like cigarettes, cheap booze and sweat. “I thought you always wanted me to ‘loosen up’, and ‘have some fun’?” Your voice was almost a whisper in the dark street, illuminated by one street lamp.
You watched as his lips perked up into a small grin. Needn’t either of you say anymore, as he took you by the hand back to his car.
Patrol. As usual, but what wasn’t usual was watching you walk down the street. Walk with such confidence, and the smile on the face screamed happiness and freedom. The man on your arm, recognizable to only one of the turtles: Mikey. The other three watched with confusion, whilst the youngest stared with passionate hatred.
“What is she doing with him?” He snarled, alerting the other turtles.
“I thought Raph was the one with a crush on Y/N?” Donnie laughed half-heartedly. Mikey shook his head quickly, eyes still fixed on you as you walked into the busy nightclub in front of the not so mystery man.
“That’s her ex – Deran. He’s an absolute dick! Cheated on her countless times, verbally abused her and made her feel like shit for at least 2 years!” Mikey crossed his arms angrily, his glare hardening as the couple below passed a window together, arm in arm.
Raph felt his heart drop to his stomach, his chest-tighten and suddenly it was hard to breath. This is what he was always afraid of, why he didn’t want to get close, to protect himself from hurting. Y/N made sure to make his feelings stronger than anything he’d ever felt. And as they continued to watch over their friend from the rooftop for what felt like hours, the pain still lingered.
They watched the whole scene, and felt the emotion between the two. It made each of them feel worthless, in their own way. But no one was hurting more than Raphael in that moment. Their friend, Raphael’s love, was moving on with her life without them, and they would be stuck in the sewers without her. Without her laugh, her smile and her positivity. It was gone in a matter of seconds.
And before Raphael could turn his back on the two in the car below, his heart shattered watching the kiss. The kiss of a thousand sins, that you would surely regret.