This is the kind of hero you are: every time things have become so difficult you can barely breathe, you have clenched your jaw and pulled your way through. This is the kind of hero you are: you have saved yourself from drowning and waded your own body to the shore just in the nick of time. This is the kind of hero you are: every time someone has been cruel and beaten your heart to a bloody pulp, you have taken this broken thing and painstakingly brought it back to life. This is the kind of hero you are, you are your own knight in shining armour, you are a supernova.
—  Nikita Gill, This Is The Kind Of Hero
i felt
numb
and i
couldn’t
breathe.
i was trapped
in an endless
sea.
i forgot
how to swim
and drowning
was certainly
not something i wanted

but it happened

and now

i’m engraved into the deep blue wake.

my last breath
stolen
from me.
you’re a painful memory
stained with my desire
and an everlasting beauty
but a trail of hurtful things
and blood soaked tears
—  the one who lost love

she told me to stop
but i kept going
because if i didn’t drink
my liver would be fine
and what’s a dying body
without all your organs shot

she said calm down
but i didn’t
i only filled with rage
a fire fueled by love
and hate
with a dash of hopeless
romance
and pain

she said slow breaths
and i did
but smoke exhaled
from my lips
and tar set in stone
penetrating my lungs
because breathings
overrated

she said goodbye
and my heart broke in two
my mind shut down
and i didn’t know what to do
so i tried old habits
to stop
the pain

drinking

smoking

but it wasn’t the same