I love how she freaks out and then comes out of caps to say gnight, by the way
Anyways. I did it. I feel dirty, especially because I kind of enjoyed writing it and even thought about a part ii but then I was like “nah i’m not doing this” & gave this imagine an almost decent closure. I’m ‘a let you read it, but, first, I wanted to try and make a point here.
Real life Thomas Jefferson was not a prick or a jerk, he was way worse. Repulsive, pretty much, and don’t even get me started on Sally Hemings. When I write anything that takes in Jefferson, I’m not writing about the actual founding father, but yes about the amazing character created by LMM and originally played by Daveed Diggs for the Broadway Musical Hamilton. Because, if I wrote about the founding father, I’d puke on myself in disgust.
That said, I kinda like this piece. Hope you enjoy it!
Word Count: 2.155
Laurens looked back at you apologetically as he
left the room, Hamilton delicately pulling him by the hand, and you tried to
give him a smile. It wasn’t your friend’s fault that, of all people, you were
trapped for an hour in detention with no less than Thomas Jefferson; but of
course John would make it all worse by taking your pain, as he always did.
Actually, it was Jefferson’s fault you were having that extra hour.
Most things were Jefferson’s fault, if you were
to be honest. The guy was just such a dick to everyone, picking up fights
wherever he could and yet being all teachers’ favorite student; if he was
involved in a bad situation chances would be it was his fault. He was the most
arrogant and cocky prick around campus, and, for God’s sake, there was
competition. There were even times he managed to fight your on-and-off
boyfriend, Aaron Burr, who was known for being passive enough to wait a life
for things; though you weren’t sure on what they fought over. Aaron was just
always so calm – which was one of your problems with him, but that was another
That time, however, there was no way the fault
could be placed on someone else. You were having a Biology class, one you
forced yourself to pay attention to so you wouldn’t fail the year, but it was hard
to pay attention to anything with Thomas Jefferson ranting about his last
vacations on France the last summer. Why did he have to be also smart?
Sometimes, you thought he didn’t even need to pay attention, like Alexander or
Anyways. He was talking loudly while James
Madison, his so called best friend, seemed to be pretending to listen. If you
were sitting next to your friends, on the other side of the room, you could
most probably ignore it; but the teacher had assigned you the place right in front
of Jefferson. You told him to shut up about a million times, deathly glaring
him, but of course he only increased the volume after that. It was like he was
By the end of the period, you were full of it.
You didn’t even remember what he was talking about anymore, you just knew you
needed Thomas Jefferson to shut up or your head would explode. And, suddenly,
your book was on his lap, seeming to have hit his head, and the whole class was
silent. The teacher was now paying attention – how convenient – and was quick
to assign you your hour of detention after classes. That was when John Laurens
erupted in a speech about how it was Jefferson’s fault, but, halfway through
it, he was forced to stop or he’d get himself a detention as well. It was so
unfair that Thomas Jefferson always got away with everything.
Your salvation came on the unlikely figure of
James Madison, who told the teacher Thomas really had started it. After that,
all there was left for the teacher to do was assigning himself detention as
well and sending him to the nurse’s office. You had seen him glaring at James
as if his eyes were daggers, but James didn’t seem to care. You weren’t sure if
you were happy for the issue being treated mildly fairly or sad for having to
spent an entire hour with Jefferson, but you thanked James anyways. What a
surprise it wasn’t when the guy just told you: “It’s about time Thomas learns
there are consequences to his acts. Don’t thank me. You’re trapped with him for
another hour and God knows it’ll be hell. Good luck”, and left.
Sure thing, anon! Since you didn’t specify characters, I’m going to go with Jeffmads. Is everyone cool with that? Just kidding it doesn’t matter I already wrote it anyways.
Send me a prompt if you want me to write something for you! If you use one of the lists just specify old list or new list.
“Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
James Madison was impossible for Thomas Jefferson to figure out. He never smiled, he was always sick, and he was absent from school more than he was present. He seemed like a generally miserable person. Thomas just couldn’t understand how someone could always be so unhappy. So, he figured that Mr. Washington pairing them up for their English project was the perfect opportunity to get to know Madison.
“So, do you want to meet at my house tonight to get started?” Thomas sat down across from Madison at lunch.
James looked up, slightly startled and very confused. No one ever sat with him. Since he was chronically ill, most kids tried to avoid him for fear of getting sick.
“Um, okay?” James gave a small cough. “What’s your address?”
Thomas handed him a slip of paper with his address written on it.
“Does 4:30 work?”
“Sure,” James said. “Do I need to bring anything?”
“Just yourself. I’ve got all the materials we should need.”
“Okay. See you then.”
Thomas stood up and went to his regular table, and James went back to sulking over his lunch, which he really couldn’t taste anyways.
“Thomas, your friend is here!”
Thomas rushed down the stairs and flung open the door to reveal James Madison wrapped in three hoodies.
“You know it’s seventy degrees out, right?” Thomas asked.
James nodded. “My body temperature is extremely low, and my doctor won’t let me go outside without a million layers of clothes.” He said all this with a heavy sadness. Thomas felt his heart break a little.
“Well, you can take some of those off,” Thomas said. “We can light a fire in the family room.”
Thomas led James through the labyrinth that was his house into the family room. He threw a couple of logs and some kindling into the fireplace and struck a match, then threw that in too.
Thomas had laid out any materials they might need on the hardwood floor, even though he knew they were probably just planning that day.
“So which book do you want to do this on?” Thomas sat down on the floor and James, now only in one hoodie, joined him.
“I was thinking Common Sense,” James said. “It’s one of my favorites.”
Thomas smiled. “Mine too! Do you want to do the essay or the poster? I don’t mind doing either piece so you choose.” In truth, Thomas would much rather do the essay, but he wanted to make James feel comfortable.
James shrugged. “I guess I’ll do the poster.”
“Okay, awesome. And what do you think we should do for the second visual part?”
“I dunno, maybe recreate the Constitution?”
“I love that idea,” Thomas said.
They talked for a little while longer about the project. Thomas did most of the talking while James nodded and occasionally offered his input.
Eventually, Thomas gave up on being polite and asked what had been on his mind all day.
“Why are you always so sad?”
James stopped what he was doing—which happened to be writing the heading on their Bill of Rights—and shrugged.
“It’s hard not to be when you’re always sick. It kind of sucks.”
“Yeah, I understand that, but I’ve never even seen you smile. Don’t you ever feel happy? Even just a little bit?”
“Very rarely. I mean, I don’t have any friends to make me happy, so it doesn’t happen a lot.”
“What do I have to do to make you smile?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like there are certain things that make me smile. It just sort of happens.”
Thomas stood up and stood in a heroic pose. “James Madison,” he declared, “I promise that one day I am going to make you smile.”
“Let’s just get back to work,” James said sadly.
“We got an A+.” Thomas slammed the graded rubric down in front of James at lunch. They had started sitting together every day and hanging out outside of class.
James snatched the paper up. “Woah,” he said, his lips twitching upward.
“And it’s all thanks to you,” Thomas said, sitting down. “Your Bill of Rights looked just like the real thing.”
James grinned up at Thomas. “It was just as much because of you.”
“Woah,” Thomas said, truly confused. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”
“I guess you’ve succeeded in your quest,” James said, the smile still dancing around his lips. “Congratulations.”
Thomas was bouncing with excitement. “Oh my god. I actually did it. I made James Madison smile!”
“You don’t have to advertise it to the whole world,” James rolled his eyes.
“Yes I do! I MADE JAMES MADISON SMILE!” Thomas yelled it out to the whole cafeteria, not caring who was staring. Then he remembered what he actually needed to ask James and lowered his voice again. “Oh, by the way, my mom wants to know if you’re still coming over for dinner tonight.”
You read the list over and over again. You couldn’t
believe what you were seeing, you were so sure you’d done everything perfectly.
Not seeing your name bothered you only slightly, but seeing his name made it so
“(y/n), if you’re done looking at the list, could
you kindly move to the side so other people can see?” Your theatre production
teacher, Mr. Greene, spoke. You were frozen in place, paralyzed with
despondency. You had spent months preparing for auditions for your school’s
spring musical Miranda: An American
Musical, since your teacher had announced it at last year’s banquet. You
had spent a bunch of after school time going over your monologue, and yet none
of it paid off, as your name wasn’t on the cast list. But Thomas Jefferson’s
was. He was cast as Daveed Diggs, double casted in the role with Gilbert de
Lafayette, the French exchange student. This wouldn’t have left you so
devastated if you and him hadn’t declared war on each other, stating that you
could outdo each other in everything you both did, no matter what it was. It was
totally playful, maybe a little less on your side, since you started to develop
feelings for the curly haired Virginian, and all you wanted to see in his
demeanor was happiness (even if it meant blatantly losing a couple of battles),
but you meant to exclude the auditions as part of the war, since being in this
musical meant everything to you, it wasn’t just a game. It made it worse because
every one of his victories fueled his ego a little bit more (to your
discontent, but you did like seeing him happy) and this one would surely take
“(y/n).” Mr. Greene said again, snapping you out
of your stupor. You nodded and moved to the side. Just then, the one person you
didn’t want to see strolled up to the cast list. A smug smirk made its way onto
his face as he turned his head to look at you.
And with that, he turned
to make his way to his next class.
It was lunch time, specifically there were 10 minutes left
of lunch. You were sitting at your usual table outside, crying into Peggy’s
soft yellow T shirt. She had also made it into the musical as Jasmine Cephas
Jones, but she had made a point not to talk about it around you, unless you
brought it up, as to not upset you further.
“Peggy, I didn’t even want to include this in the
battle, but I couldn’t back down or he won’t stop bragging about him winning ‘the
war’ for months!” You sobbed to your best friend. You sniffed and then rubbed
your eyes clean. “I don’t know why I’m crying. This is stupid.”
“(y/n), it’s not stupid. This musical means a lot
to you, and while you may not be in the cast, the crew list hasn’t been posted
yet, and I know you’re a great leader. Maybe you’ll get stage manager?”
You sighed. Way, way deep down inside you knew
that you could care less about being in the cast or crew, it only mattered if
you were in the show with Thomas. You
wanted to be around him, either dancing and singing with him on stage, making
his costumes (and getting to see him shirtless most the time), or even feeding
him cues or handing him the props he needed for the scenes. You enjoyed his
presence, and since you were friends you knew he enjoyed yours, but he didn’t
know of the feelings you harbored for him.
“Is this seat taken?” A too familiar voice said
from behind you, giving you goosebumps. Not here. Not now.
You turned around. “Hi, Thomas.” He smiled and
darted his eyes to the side. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Peggy get
up, give Thomas a thumbs up, and walk inside. Thomas sat down, looking straight
into your eyes. It was hard to look away from those deep chocolatey orbs, but
he looked away first.
“You’ve been crying. What’s wrong?”
You let out a scoff without really meaning to.
You lowered your head.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
He raised an eyebrow, unamused.
“(y/n), we’re friends. We may have this war going
on, but we’re still really good friends. You can talk to me.”
You looked up at him, tears threatening to spill
over. His brows furrowed, and then raised in realization.
“It’s the cast list isn’t it. You’re upset. You’re
actually upset that you lost.”
“Actually? I’m always upset when I lose, to you of all people.” You retorted. He
rolled his eyes, absentmindedly placing a hand on your knee, making your face
“(y/n), I’m not stupid. Far from it, actually.
You let me win some of our battles several times, and you thought I wouldn’t
notice. A big part of this war means nothing to you. Being in this musical actually meant something to you, or you wouldn’t’ve
been crying over it…. And I rubbed it in your face.” He said, mumbling the last
part. You gave a small nod, confirming what he said to be true.
“Wow… I apologize, (y/n), maybe I was taking this
war a little too seriously.”
You shook your head. “No, I shouldn’t’ve been
crying over this, we have plenty other shows to be in together…”
You froze. You hadn’t meant to word it like that,
but you did, and judging by the look on his face, he enjoyed it.
“I get it now. You like me, don’t you, (y/n)? Why
else would you let me win some of our battles and be this upset over not being in the musical when
I am. What, are you afraid I’m going to find a cute girl in the musical, be around her all the time, and
totally fall in love with her, and you would have no idea until it’s all said
and done, leaving you completely helpless?”
You blinked. That was oddly specific. Yes, that
was your fear, but that was oddly
specific of him to say.
“Thomas… that was oddly specific.” You voiced
your thoughts, giving him a weird look. This time it was him that froze.
“I—uh, well, I just—it was only hypothetical.” He
stammered, turning away from you and rubbing the back of his neck. You gasped.
“Thomas Jefferson, be honest with me right now,
do you like me??”
He sighed. “Yes. Yes, (y/n), I do. I’ve liked you
for a while, in a way this war was a plan to get closer to you and see if you
liked me too. When I heard that you’d be auditioning for the musical, I had to
do everything to make sure I got in too, because let’s face it, there are a lot
of attractive guys in theatre, and you could’ve met one, and gotten together
with him, and then where would I be?” He rambled. The whole time a smile grew
on your face. He was cut off by your friend Alexander Hamilton running up to
you. He was also in the show, although you couldn’t remember what part he was
“(y/n)!! Oh my God, (y/n), the crew list—the crew
list is up…” He panted. You waited patiently for him to catch his breath.
“Huff…. Huff…. Whoo, the auditorium is some ways
away…. From the cafeteria…. Oh. Jefferson. Don’t fancy seeing you here.
Anyways. (y/n). You made running crew and alternate ensemble!”
You shrieked in happiness and stood up to hug
Alex. He patted your shoulder and made his way back to the theatre wing. You sat
back down, turning to Thomas, and smiled. You don’t know what came over you,
but you quickly leaned in and kissed Thomas lovingly, who no doubt kissed back
as soon as your lips connected with him. You pulled away, your smile never
“Hey, Thomas?” You asked. He hummed in response,
a genuine smile plastered on his face.
“Remember those attractive theatre guys you were
Also, while there’s no concrete historical evidence as to whether Jefferson did or did not have a weird, toothy underbite, I’ve taken the liberty of assuming he probably did, but that he told portrait artists to hide it. We do know for sure that he was an avowed Epicurean, degenerate sex maniac and slave-owner, so the strip is really more about that anyway.
- James Madison “accidentally” buys prostitutes for foreign ambassadors
- Jefferson eating a tomato like an apple at a dinner and everyone rushing off to find a doctor because Americans thought tomatoes were poisonous
- Washington and Lafayette falling asleep under a tree after Monmouth
- Washington cursing out Charles Lee after his retreat
- James Armistead Lafayette, who was a badass spy during the revolution and gave Lafayette vital information which led to the victory at Yorktown. Lafayette freed him and James was so grateful he took Lafayette’s last name
- Lafayette being given an alligator as a gift and, not knowing what to do with it, regifting it to John Quincy Adams
- the Constitutional Convention going out and getting turnt two days before the signing of the Constitution, and some of the additional charges being a broken chair, cups, and chamber pots
- John Hancock being smol
- Alexander Hamilton’s argument against hanging John Andrè basically being “he’s too pretty”
- Aaron Burr sleeping through Valentine’s Day
- Lafayette naming his ONLY son after George Washington
- Ben Franklin and John Adams once having to share a room with one bed and falling asleep arguing whether or not they should sleep with the window open or closed
- Ben Franklin taking “air baths” which consisted of him sitting naked in a bathtub for hours a day
- Aaron Burr having a knife hidden in the handle of his umbrella, and then LOSING said umbrella
- John Adams’ kid Charles once ran naked across Harvard Yard
- Alexander Hamilton losing his check book and having to write the bank of New York for a new one, while also requesting his account balance which he didn’t know, which he wrote in the check book, which he lost
- Aaron Burr hitting his head on the same pipe twice jfc he’s such a mess
- Thomas Jefferson getting a terrible headache for two days after behaving awkwardly in front of a girl
- John Adams naming his dog Satan
- Alexander Hamilton’s letters to his totally hetero bro™ John Laurens being censored by his descendants
- George Washington running for the House of Burgesses and getting his constituents totally smashed so they would vote for him