Pre-orders for the @releasefanzine are closing on Friday, so here’s the full reveal of my piece in it!
Cardcaptor Sakura was the first manga I ever read and it’s always been a huge inspiration for me. I’ve often repeated her invincible spell of “I’m sure I’ll be all right” to get me through tough times. I wanted to capture the spirit of Sakura’s persevering hope and optimism in one of my favorite scenes (and costumes) where she captures Light and Dark. It’s an important scene to me, and one that foreshadows the final conflict against Eriol that always captivated me.
Both are powerful scenes that show that even when the world is falling around you, you will find a way to keep moving forward with a determined smile and the self-confidence you didn’t know you had.
If you’re interested in pre-ordering the Release Fanzine that contains this piece as well as many others by other incredibly talented artists, you can do so here.
So at the beginning, Merlin was facing off with the current Dark One of the time. He says, “You destroyed her, the only woman I ever loved.” And he looked sufficiently heartbroken about it as expected.
But wait. He gets determined, saying, “I will destroy you” and raises the dagger to kill the Dark One. He looks angry almost, maybe even disgusted with what the Dark One has taken from him.
THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HE FREEZES AND MAKES THIS FACE.
It is a complete shift from his determination. It’s almost like realization.
And the only thing happening is the Dark One staring back silently at him, and we don’t see the Dark One’s face at this moment of whatever he is realizing.
So immediately after making this face and pausing in his quest to destroy the Dark One right in front of him, Merlin says something that I’m fairly certain was “My god!” or something along those lines that further shows he is realizing something like maybe he is realizing his actions aren’t right. Then he collapses and drops the dagger!
If he is holding the dagger, we know he has complete control, so the Dark One did nothing to make him drop it. However, when he does, the Dark One immediately grabs it and holds it up to his neck as though to kill him.
Merlin’s life is literally in TOTAL DANGER against the darkest magic ever. He isn’t fighting despite being an even more powerful sorcerer. He doesn’t even look scared. He instead looks COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY DEVASTATED and says, “I miss her.” He is in what could very well be his final moments and he is choosing to lament his lost love instead of trying to survive.
Then, of course, the Dark One uses that heartbreak to collect this tear.
Why does this matter, you ask? Because what if the original Dark One IS THE LOVE THAT MERLIN LOST? What if his love was taken by the darkness, and SHE BECAME THE FIRST DARK ONE? She became this darkness as a result of something he did– maybe even her trying to save him– and in that moment he realized that he had completely lost her to the darkness. He had his realization in that moment that he couldn’t destroy her because he made her that way and still loves her, so he can’t see her as this totally even entity, even though she’s gone. He is crying a tear of his greatest heartbreak and giving up on fighting because he lost her to the darkness, he is telling her he misses her, and he knows there’s nothing that will bring her back.
Now Emma is the Dark One (also turning people into trees, just saying). Now Emma needed a tear of heartbreak and her first thought was Regina. Regina, who she became the Dark One to save. Regina, who has powerful magic like Merlin, who was trusted with her dagger like Merlin, and who would probably end up on her dying breath still unable to destroy Emma because she still sees Emma and not just the darkness.
When I first met Mr. Gates and he asked me my name
I feared the man I was about to create. I feared that someone born of such dark things would consume me were I not careful. And I was determined only to wear him for a while and then dispose of him when his purpose was complete. And I thought of that story. Am I ready to let him go?
If I had to pick one moment to show why I love Neal Cassidy, this would be a very strong contender. The last time we saw Rumplestilskin with his son, we had little Baelfire so determined that he could find a way to fix things. He had so much faith that his papa could come back to him– that he'd want to get rid of his dark magic for him, that he’d be enough to pull him out of it. So we see Neal, and he’s older with hundreds of years of anger and resentment and hurt on him, but we get a little glimpse of that 14 year old. He’s pretty sure there’s no way his father could fix this, but there’s a tiny part of him that’s saying okay, fine, try me. Because what if there's something? What if he was right all of those years ago, and it was possible for his papa to change for him? Maybe, just maybe it could be okay.
And then Rumple’s solution is, of course, magic. Just like it was before. And his face just DROPS. He knew it was going there, he shouldn’t have been surprised, and he’s not, really– but this teeny little part of him is disappointed. He lets himself drop his head and be disappointed for just barely a moment– because he knew better than to get his hopes up for real this time.
That’s so much of why I love this character: he’s so very much rooted in that 14 year old boy who believed in his father, that so very much colors what he does and all of his choices, but he’s grown up. He’s lived through a lot of disappointment and heartache, and he’s understandable fucked up by it– this is Baelfire jaded. But he’s got that shred of hope, that optimism– but it’s tempered with 200 years of character development and it’s just infinitely sad and interesting to me.
Everyone is spending a lot of time making theories etc, about the Skywalker family, saying that maybe, Kylo Ren & Rey are siblings, the Solo´s twins? But..if they are a new vesion of Dark Vader and Padme Amidala.
I ship Reylo, their scenes were impressives together.
He likes her strenght, her determination, her beauty that´s for sure. i just hope we could have another epic impossible love coming, would be amazing see the tormented Kylo trying to stay in the dark side, while the love pull him until the light again….would be almost the opposite side of Anakin falling in the dark side, though Padme…i wait by Reylo.
Killian may truly love Emma no matter what but he also will not stand idly by and watch the woman he loves fall deep into the darkness she helped him to overcome not long ago. The passion between them is palpable and it would have been easy to simply succumb to her temptations. But true love is never easy. It must be fought for. And as he tells a Belle who sweetly commiserates over their failed attempts at true love’s kiss, he spent over a century trying to destroy the Dark One, he can spent at least that long trying to save the woman he loves. One of things I loved most about all of these scenes was the authenticity and rawness of the feelings expressed, especially on Killian’s part. In any love story it is natural to enjoy the happy, romantic moments. But what gives the story its depth and brevity are the moments of sorrow and intensity. Killian’s emotions range from hope and love, to heartbreak and shock, and anger and determination. That is what real love entails. It is not an everlasting state of perfect bliss. True love is passion and joy, kisses and fights, smiles and tears. You may struggle along the way but no matter what it is always worth it. This recognition of what love truly is and can overcome is what I believe Emma’s battle will be with. The Darkness she has embraced always fights against that pull towards the light and love in all its forms that this light embodies. When we see the true Emma shine through as she watches her loved ones from afar, feeling the same isolation and loneliness she felt at the beginning of the series, the price of power becomes crystal clear.
What books do you recommend to an aspiring artist?
it totally depends on what you’re looking for or what field you take interest in but i tend to think anyone in creative pursuit can benefit from the diaries of paul klee. it’s sharply written- his prose makes even his daily minutia and transcriptions of technique an endearing read. but what’s notable and powerful is how incredibly doubtful, self critical, and loathing he was of his work and ability. and paul klee is a total legend, like an undisputed master of his craft and hugely influential within his respective scene / time. but his diaries are littered with quips like “i am still incapable of painting, in spite of my sharp observation of tonal values and in spite of my clever way of determining the proper gradations of light and dark.”
the diaries provide great insight into a creative process that’s universal in a manor i wasn’t fully cognizant of prior to reading- it got me to accept hindering self doubt as an intrinsic part of that process. which, in turn, made my huge preponderance of doubt and instinctual self criticism hold a lot less credence
yeah that’s definately an important book to me, i think it’s worthwhile
Amber Rose would lie drowsing in the sun, an arm thrown across her face. He studied her body almost covertly, the symmetry of her nipples, the dark, enigmatic juncture of her thighs. Parting the kinked black hair with his fingers he leaned and kissed her there, she stirred drowsily against his face. Faint taste of salt, of distant seas. Some other taste, something elemental, primal, shorn of custom. His tongue delineated the complexities of her sex, he raised his face to study the enigma he found there.
The latest chapter of Fairy Tail Zero came out today, so of course now it is time for me to discuss it a little. The main thing I’m focusing on is this reoccurring effect put on Mavis’ eyes
Notice that it isn’t present here, when she’s still “happy” as a child
But then after witnessing the destruction of the last stable environment she’d ever known, her eyes change to this
And then later in chapter two after meeting Yuri, they have the weird dark look to them
Now we see this in a scene where she is determined to win in order to protect her home, so I’d usually just pass it off as that alone, but then we see this image later after her game with Yuri is over.
In this scene she should be determined yes, but her entire demeanor doesn’t fit with how her eyes have been depicted like this in the previous scenes, and to be honest they’re a bit startling when paired with that facial expression. This makes me think that, while Yuri has seen Zeira and therefore she isn’t a figment of Mavis’ imagination, maybe Mavis isn’t completely sane anymore. I mean, the way she acted in her childhood circumstances is just crazy by itself, but that could be intensified several times over after her home being destroyed. So in conclusion, maybe the cute little Mavis isn’t completely there mentally, despite her supposed genius intelligence.
Other theories I have are Zeira actually being dead and Zeref taking on her form, then corrupting Mavis secretly and gradually, but I’m gonna hold off on that.