Somehow I find myself sitting here again, waiting for Something I don’t yet know, feeling drawn to a place I’m not sure exists. The urge to go is so strong, but where? If I knew, this porch would never see me again. But I don’t, so I sit here still, waiting, hoping the light evening breeze blows destiny my way.
—  Mt // on Leaving (part i)
Journal #23: Further Revelations

I still found myself troubled over my parents’ inability to understand me, so I came before Leader and poured myself out.

And…something wonderful happened. He helped me to see my lack of desire as an asset, rather than as an anomaly. He says it will free me from distraction. Bring me in closer alignment with my purpose. Protect me from the hindrances of emotional attachment. In other words, this quality of myself that I have been so confused and insecure about is actually one of the things that will enable me to fulfill my destiny.

I’ve just been so sick of people disregarding the way I feel…or the way I don’t feel. To have Leader validate me like this…I hardly know what to say. For so long, I couldn’t shake the idea that there was something wrong with me, but now I see there is nothing wrong. I was crafted this way especially for Leader’s usage. I just wish I had been able to see it that way sooner.

So, there is no need for anyone to ask who I will give myself to. I have already given myself to him.