This is what happens on my night off from work

Nils 13

Today was tragic.
So nils had been pretty shady these past 2 days. Idk wtf happened. Haven’t been able to talk to him. But here’s the story.
So i left my bag over there from when i slept over 2 nights ago it had some clothes i needed for my photoshoot today. I left them there with the intentions of being them yesterday, but that never happened so we planned for me to get them today after he finally responded to me after over 10 hours.
I told him i really needed to get them he asked me what time. I did around 6 and if he would be home. He never answered. I get off work and literally walked from water steet all the way to 29th i texted him the entire way telling him i was coming whether he was there or not, that maybe his roommate’s would be home to buzz me in and open the door. He texted me saying he doesn’t think anyone is home. I get to his building and 2 dudes have the door open talking, so i don’t even need to be buzzed in. I walk up the steps to his apartment and knock on the door.
I hear a girls voice answer, i thought it was his roommate’s gf so im like hey its jasmine. The door opens and it’s done black chick.
I looked at her and my heart dropped. Nils was no where in sight. She says hello pretty awkwardly and cracks the door open a little more.
I open it the rest of the way and im like im here to get my bag. She steps aside and i walk in. She’s talking but my ears are ringing. Im walkingto his room and before i get there i see the door us open, the light is on and i hear the fan. My heart is pounding and im just like if this mother fucker is in his room im going to black. Before i make it to the room i see a flash of white skin in the bathroom another girl walks out. I walk right into his room, he’s not there. I start packing my shit and i here someone on there way to the room. I finish getting my things and the white girl is there, and she’s like you look so familiar.
And i have my stuff like uhhh idk maybe you saw me on ig or his ig.and she’s like idk.and im like is Nils here and they are like he’s on the roof and the black girl is looking at me like uncomfortable. Im checking her face to see if her nose is pierced cause i was 10 seconds from setting it off. Her nose was not pierced. So im like oh ok, and then they invite me up and im like i just came to get my shit. And the black girl is handing me the keys and she’s like idk if i should lock it or not. And im like yeah when you go out close the door and lock it. And i walk out. I was so heated and not thinking, i should have gone on the fucking roof and suprised the fuck out of him. Like wtf.
I know he told me he’d be working on his music but to have me chasing you telling you i needed my clothes and your home pretending your not? And you have people over chillin and im wondering wtf is going on and you’re not responding to me? Like wtf! He’s been acting mad suss these part 3 days. Telling me not to come to the bar having me wait 3 hours in the cold and rain. Not answering my texts or calls. Finding someone else’s jewelery in the bed. Lying about where you are. Like i dont deserve this shit! Why do i always subject myself to these fuckboys wtf! I wrote him a text that i knew he would not respond to saying
“Dude ur on the roof? Lol ok.
Its fine i got my stuff. Thanks.
Idk whats going on with you but this doesnt feel good. I know your working or whatever but you were home this entire time knowing i just wanted my clothes. The main door was open, go upstairs knock on the door and this girl opens the door. I didnt ask her who she was im not even sure i want to know…but wtf up?”

He’ll probably wait until tomorrow to respond. But idk man, i dont need this shit. I deserve more. I deserve a king who will treat me like his queen and not fuck around. Idgaf what we are to each other. If he had any respect me he would not be holding sit back and hurting my feelings. Like this is so fucked up. I’m so tight i can’t even cry.

Cool experience that happened to me today. So this afternoon I was sitting on the deck outside the cabin about to call in some snow fall when a pair of kookaburras came to join me.

Used to dealing with crows at uni and my place of work, I greeted them and asked if they wanted anything. One of the kookaburras shook its feathers and then flew off to a tree further away while the other hopped closer. Figuring they like similar foods to crows, I went inside and fetched some lamb from last night’s dinner.

What followed was very interesting. I fed the kookaburra directly from my hand (he was very polite and didn’t snatch it from my hand) and then he sat with me as I completed my spell to bring snow.

When I had finished the spell he flew off to join the other kookaburra in the tree. They chatted for a moment and then he flew back and dropped a feather on the deck next to me.

I’ve never had an interaction with a kookaburra like this. It’s usually only crows…. Anyway, it was an interesting afternoon.


Rose Quartz: “Feta, I would like to talk to you about-.”

Feta: “I’ve been waiting for you to come and talk to me, Rose Quartz. I have my suspicions about what happened last night.”

Rose Quartz: “Yes?”

Feta: “I think I know who did it!”

Rose Quartz: “You do! Please, tell me!”

Feta: “Well, I have no evidence despite what I saw-.”

Rose Quartz: “It doesn’t matter! Just give me something- anything- to work off of.”

Feta: “Don’t you think it’s a little odd that Celtic was standing over the body when we all came rushing out?”

Rose Quartz: “Celtic? But why would he stay at the scene of the murder? Besides, numerous people have said that they heard somebody running away from the room before anyone went outside.”

Feta: “Exactly! Celtic could have killed Scarlet and rushed back to his room just in time for him to come out and play the hero!”

Rose Quartz: “I suppose it’s possible. But it seems illogical.”

Feta: “Think about it, would you? Why would he want to play the hero so badly?”

Um today @ work was literally so stressful and there’s so many things that happened. This was one of the LONGEST shifts I’ve worked and it was running on no sleep due to everything from last night and stress. So I’m counting the minutes for when I got off and an hour before I do, my hunty comes in and she literally would NOT leave me alone because she wanted to switch shifts and have me close instead of getting off in an hour. Like? What is this??? I’ve worked like a dog all day for hours harder than ever and you’re coming to me asking if I can switch shifts with you so that you can work only ONE single hour doing nothing while I put in another 5 hours????? Oh no sis not me, not today. Not on TONIGHT! And then this team of little league baseball players came in and I thought it was so cute that they picked our store to eat at but y'all……..when I tell y'all…………. I went to check the dining area an hour after they left and………….. LITERALLY it was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. DISGUSTING. We have trashes for you to throw your trash away, but these beast? These vultures? They left every single piece of trash and mess out on their table and the floor? It was covered COVERED in trash and crumbs. The biggest mess I’d ever seen. So there I am cleaning that up as a way to do something easy and what do I find? What crucial artifact of revenge did I come across? The wallet of their coach!!!!! 💀 The *fat wallet of the coach, I may add. And did I feel bad that he left it? Yes, more or less. Overall, did I care? With the way he let those premature 7 year old disgusting straight white male gremlins leave their mess out? No.

charmingreverie asked:

I'm the anon from last night who was the last one you answered. I decided to take off my slightly cowardly mask lol. Something kinda crazy just happened. By some amazing chance, I think my boyfriend might be working his way toward Christ. I didn't bring up the subject but suddenly he texted me about his faith and how he wished he knew what to think and believe. I explained some things the best I could, and he just told me he's going to pray, study the bible, and talk to other Christians. Wow.

Oh, I’m also the anon whose boyfriend has depression. Same boyfriend, obviously. Felt like I should be totally honest about the whole situation. I imagine his depression could be causing greater struggles in his faith, and I want to thank you for praying.

THIS IS SO GOOD!! I literally have goosebumps right now hahaha, praise God!! Thank you for sending me this message, I’m so happy for you guys and I’ll continue to pray! <3333

Charleston Strong (and Charleston Proud) in the Aftermath of the Charleston Shooting

There’s no way I can go without writing about the recent tragedy in Charleston.

I’ve been calling Charleston “home” for the past year and a half.  The fact that something so terrible happened literally so close to home is unnerving.  Emanuel AME Church is located in the heart of downtown Charleston, and about 2 miles from where I work.  Several of my coworkers personally knew some of the victims.  It all seems so surreal that this actually happened.  

When I started seeing posts on Facebook and Twitter on Wednesday night, they included very little detail, so at first I thought it had been a one-off shooting.  Like someone had pulled a gun out on one person on the street.  Not to say that situation wouldn’t have been sad and tragic in itself, but just that I didn’t quite understand the magnitude of what actually happened.  Then I heard that the shooting took place in a church.  I then thought it was even more tragic that it happened in a place of sanctuary and worship, but still thought it was an attack on just one person.

Then the details came pouring in.  Nine people.  Nine lives.  A massacre of peaceful churchgoers at a Bible study.

I can’t even begin to understand what was going on in this shooter’s mind.  Reports say he had been sitting with the group for a whole hour before he started shooting.  He claimed he had been debating whether or not to actually carry out his plan of attack, because “everyone was so nice to me.”

Sure, there may have been a few raised eyebrows when a young white man walked into the African church, but they didn’t make him feel unwanted or like he didn’t belong.  They welcomed him with open arms to join them that night.  While they showed him love, he responded with hate.

That is not how Charleston is.

I’ve shared about the scarcity of diversity (specifically Asians) in this city, and have made light of the experiences I’ve had here with people who aren’t as accustomed to interacting with other ethnicities.  But in spite of my jokes, I’ve never had anyone treat me with outright racism or hatred.  On the contrary, this city has welcomed me with the same open arms as those churchgoers.  I struggled when I first moved here.  It was so different from home, and I didn’t have any friends here.  But the people here were kind, open, and made great efforts to make sure I felt comfortable and at home here.  As much as I love and yearn for California, I’ve grown to love this beautiful city and its beautiful people.

Even the way this city responded to such a hateful event was beautiful.  There were no riots, no angry mobs screaming curses, no wars between the white and black populations.  While several people on the outside have tried to twist this event to further their political agendas, not one post or message that I’ve seen from a Charlestonian has been about anything like gun control laws, race relations, or even mental illness.  It has solely been about mourning the lost, uniting through support and love, and just a little anger toward the gunman who tried to divide this city.  Many people could very easily have responded to this act of hatred with more hate.  It seems to have become the norm in this country to react to violence with even more violence.  Instead, the Holy City reacted with love upon love, grace upon grace, and came together as one in solidarity, no matter your skin color.

When the families of the slain victims were given a chance to address the killer via video connection, do you know what they said to him?

“I just wanted everybody to know, to you, I forgive you.  You took something very precious away from me. I will never talk to her ever again. I will never be able to hold her again. But I forgive you.  You hurt me. You hurt a lot of people. May God forgive you. And I forgive you.”   
–  daughter of Ethel Lance

“We welcomed you Wednesday night in our Bible study with open arms.  Every fiber in my body hurts, and I will never be the same… . Tywanza was my hero. But as we said in Bible study, we enjoyed you, but may God have mercy on you.”     
– mother of Tywanza Sanders

Then afterwards, several people gathered outside the courthouse to sing gospel hymns together.

This man tried to stir up hate.  According to some news outlets, he did this because he wanted to start a race war.  But he failed miserably.  His actions were spewing with so much hatred, yet this city responded with so much love.  It only made us stronger, brought us closer.  We as a community united to mourn the victims and show that hate will not win.  At various memorials, prayer vigils, and other events to show support, people of all colors stood together as one, to show that we are #charlestonstrong.  That such an act of hatred will not divide us.  That we are more than just the color of our skin, and that Charleston’s love is stronger than this man’s hate.  

Just take a look at these images from this Bridge to Peace event.  Masses of people walked from either side of the Ravenel Bridge to meet in the middle to form a “Unity Chain” by linking hands.  There they observed 9 minutes of silence, to honor the nine who were killed.  The turnout was so great, that not everyone could fit on the nearly 3-mile-long bridge.  There were all sorts of cheering, singing, and even honking in support from cars driving by.

USA #oneheart #onelove #CharlestonUnityChain

— Carly Good (@Carly_Good)

June 22, 2015

“Love never fails.” “Be devoted to one another on brotherly love.” #bridgetopeace #CharlestonUnityChain

— Deanna Pan (@DDpan)

June 22, 2015

The amount of people that showed up to link hands across the Ravenel is insane. #charleston #standwithcharleston

— Chad Engle (@chadengle)

June 22, 2015

#Charleston’s hands and hearts are linked tonight in #UnityChainCharleston. #CharlestonStrong #IamAME #BridgetoPeace

— The Post and Courier (@postandcourier)

June 22, 2015

See more pictures of this beautiful event here and here.

I have not called Charleston home for very long, but I am so, so very proud to be a part of this city.  We are #charlestonstrong.

Leisurely morning. Family and love thoughts.

Tomorrow, I’m headed to the homeland for a family reunion. My oldest uncle is turning 60, my dad is turning 50, one of my cousins is turning 30, and another one of my cousins is turning 21, all within something like a 2-week period. Both 60 and 21 happen on the same day - Saturday. So we’re gathering to celebrate and reign in the clan from all corners of the world as best we can.

I’m off work today for it. I slept in late, which I desperately needed after several nights of broken sleep. I rolled over to my phone and scrolled through what the Internet had to say, a ritual that I sort of hate, but sort of think helps me transition into waking up. Usually it’s inconsequential, but on this particular morning I found out we’ll be celebrating another cousin - on his engagement. 

Eli is a year older than me, and his younger brother Cal is my age. We’ve always been close despite the fact that they live in nowhere-Illinois. I’m really happy for Eli. Typically, I’m skeptical of early engagements, but I think this is a case that makes sense. His girlfriend is a total sweetheart. I think I’ve only met her once, maybe twice, but she’s someone you can tell is just a good person through and through. It’s been at least 4 years that they’ve been together, maybe more. All of college for sure, and some of high school. From the completely objective outside, it’s amazing and wonderful, but from the inside, imagining Eli married makes me laugh. He’s silly and ridiculous in the best way, so I guess my brain doesn’t know how to think of him as old enough to be married. Probably also because I don’t consider myself old enough either. We’re just kids. We’ve always just been kids. Some of the youngest cousins in the family. And now that whole youngest thing is not so young.

Even my little brother isn’t little anymore. He just posted a photo set this morning wishing his girlfriend of nearly 2 years a happy birthday. I think today she’s 18. 

I feel like everyone with a younger sibling understands the feeling of weirdness of the younger grows up. It becomes easier to remember what you were thinking, feeling, and doing at ages like 18, so it seems weird that someone you’ve always though of as so little can be reaching that point. I have always tried to empathize with him though; he once called me out when I was 14 for chastising his language, reminding me that when I was 10 and he was 6 that I had made the claim that 10 was in fact old enough for such words. That was the first time I realized how easy it was to diminish the cognition of younger people in general as we moved past that point in our lives. But I digress. I see Aidan with this girlfriend and I feel a little worried. Not anything serious; she’s a super nice girl. But I see the photos and I think of the person I loved at that age and what that was like. For me personally, it was a small disaster, but it’s more that I can’t figure out how Aidan actually feels. Maybe it’s a product of a world where he’s been subconsciously conditioned not to share his true feelings, but maybe it’s more than that. I’m afraid that he’s generally happy in this relationship, but only still in it because it seems “right.” He’s not interested in anyone else and he likes to spend time with her. They love each other, but part of me feels like he’s just sort of defaulting. Again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong or bad about their relationship. But at the same time, she’s off to college and wants to keep the relationship and he’s never expressed to me that he does also want that, just that he will do it for her. I’ve seen way too many college freshmen that come in with a significant other that then get to the point of “I don’t know where/who I’d be without them.” They become paralyzed by the length of a relationship that isn’t about love and growing anymore, but about fear of anything else. There’s no immediate prospect of a new relationship, there’s nothing wrong with the old one, and so it becomes “with you or on my own.” No one wants to be on their own. I don’t blame anyone for that. But it’s definitely worse to stay with someone by default. Because they’re good enough. Because maybe they’re not the love of your life, but you do love them.

But who knows. This is all impossible to tell from this perspective. And there’s nothing I can do. Maybe it is okay. Maybe Aidan and his girlfriend will be happy and grow and make it work. Otherwise, he’ll wake up. But no one can shake him awake. 

The youngest cousins in my family aren’t so young anymore. But I think we can handle it.

anonymous asked:

Okay, so what happened the night you got really fucked up?

Well I got off work and picked up my ex from work cause he needed a ride. He asked me if I wanted some blow so I got super skeeeted and smoked like a ¼

Shit happens when you party naked.

Shortly after daniel and i broke up, i went through a whore phase where i was sleeping with all my co workers.. when one night i came across a guy named angel. My first night with him was beautiful. we sat in a tree house/tent and drank, got high together. We were caught in a moment of staring at eachother.. we kissed. and then you know what happened. ;) Unfortunately he had dated another friend of mine from work, so yes, i was THAT whore. AND he had a child already with a girl name Demi. She was clearly not over their relationship.. because she basically cut him off from her and their son because of me through a series of horrible events. But, stupid little 17 year old me at the time, still believing in that hope of falling in love, kept fighting for him. Though both girls clearly warned me that he was no good i didn’t listen… a year later, I’m pregnant with his second child. Yeah we got into our fights left and right… but we always got over it. the good outweighed the bad. I slept over his house a couple times and we shared cute family moments together with him feeling the baby in my belly, sharing the first couple days when she was born. all was well. Then i realized, he doesn’t drive, i pay for everything nearly, I’m doing everything. And in return he calls me a stupid bitch, an idiot, slut, whore, and all these demeaning names. Whenever we plan to go out, SOMETHING ruins it. This past time i went all the way to paramount to get him, who ended up being drunk and calling me a stupid bitch the whole way back then passing out in my car. I told him to get out when we got to his house, so he flips me off and throws his backpack at my car.. as i was driving off i ran over something don’t know what it was .. but it popped. I hate that I’m addicted to feeling emotion for someone but I’m now realizing that I’m looking for it in all the wrong places. First a cheater, then a guy with domestic violence/anger management issues. What next? it seems that i always go for the broken ones. Now i have a baby with this guy. I love her so much but i wish so badly that it wasn’t with him. My heart aches and i start to sympathize demi.. just kills me. any way just had to throw that one out there.