They were nice and would have been worth it

02/04/2016: Day 15 --- Goal: 250

Well calories went… Okay…

Calorie goal: 250 calories
Calorie intake: 246 calories
Weight: 127 pounds

Over eating yesterday has destroyed today…

So breakfast and lunch were 0 calories, but I had the day off school so I’ve been repeatedly weighting myself and that’s really bad.

At lunch I faked having a bagel and at dinner we had fish cakes, carrots and potatoes. Actually the rest of my family also had mixed vegetables but I wouldn’t eat that ana or not.

I ate the whole fish cake (264 calories) and it didn’t even taste nice so that was a waste of what a meal could be. I had enough carrots on my plate that it would’ve gone over my goal so I only ate 10 calories worth and I’d already turned down potatoes.

so nothing disastrous happened, but I’ve been having dreams about overeating and weighing loads and… Now ana’s there in my sleep as well as in the day and I just can’t. Get. Rid. Of. Her…

It’s kind of sad that I’ve dated someone for 4 ½ years and have never actually been on a real “date”. Like we would go out and stuff but they were never like legit dates. And now he’s planning this really nice date with someone else and it just kind of sucks.

Like I obviously don’t wanna be with him again but like come on, dude. Where was all that effort when we were together?

I guess I was just never worth it…