I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I’d open the door, you’d smile. And while I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here, you’d tell me how hard the past months have been, how much you’ve thought about me, how much you regretted everything. And then you’d take me into your arms and ask me to forgive you, and I would without hesitation. Then you’d grab my face and kiss me the way you used to, and everything would be perfect again.
Time Reference (?)

Plz ignore the ask where I’m flailing about this impossible thing, because I cracked it down! I want to believe I did crack it down. I did a little of research about the Ninja World Wars because Kishi’s logic is utter garbage and Math simply doesn’t add up with some of the years in which he sets the Wars apart.

I took Jiraiya as my main reference point because he fought 3 wars and survived 2 ½ and interacts WITH THE MAYOR PART OF THE KEY CHARACTER INSIDE THIS STORY. All of this starts, ends and FOCUSES with Jiraiya, I keep adding Key Characters to prove some logic with the research that I did and the Math that I did.

This the order:
(AGE) Character - (AGE) Succeeding Character


Fourth War Starts (“Peace” Duration and Shitty Canon Planning: 17 years)
54 Jiraiya (DIES) -30 Kakashi- 16 Naruto
Chuunin Exams
50 Jiraiya - 26 Kakashi - 12 Naruto
Nine Tails Attack
38 Jiraiya - 24 Minato (DIES) - 14 Kakashi - Naruto Borns
Third War Is Over (Time Duration: 5 years)
37 Jiraiya - 23 Minato - 13 Kakashi
Third War Starts (Peace Duration: 6 years)
32 Jiraiya - 18 Minato - 8 Kakashi (Sakumo dies)
Peace Time in Between
30 Jiraiya - 16 Minato - 6 Kakashi (<- Graduates the Academy)
Second War Ends (Time Duration: 8 years)
26 Jiraiya - 12 Minato - 2 Kakashi
Gets Genin Team / Fight with Hanzo
24 Jiraiya - 12 Nawaki (DIES) - 10 Minato - Kakashi Borns
Second War Starts (Peace Duration: 10 years)
18 Jiraiya - 6 Nawaki - 4 Minato
Conflict on Piece Time
14 Jiraiya - 2 Nawaki - Minato Borns
Peace Time (AKA Shenanigans Galore, Wild Little Sannin Wreck Havoc)
12 Jiraiya - Nawaki is Born
First War Ends (Time Duration: 10 years)
8 Jiraiya
Academy Graduation (Hiruzen Becomes Hokage)
6 Jiraiya
Second Year of the First War
Jiraiya is Born


In the Wikia it says that the first war lasted 10 years and the peace time was that of 20, but that is really impossible since we see Tunade interact with Hashirama (I speculate that she’s like 3-4 on the flashbacks we’re given) We have a total of 20 years marking the Period of the first War, 10 years of conflict + 10 of peace. The second one is a bit unclear of its Canon duration and it says that the build up to the Third one is 10 years.

But like the stubborn person that I am I’m gonna say Fuck Canon and Kishi’s lack of Math and Logic.

The numbers I came up with (after comparing the ages) for the Real Durations of the War and Peace times make a little sense to me. If we take that in the 2nd one Tsunade made a fucking Improvement on Squads by entering Medic-Nin, it gave Konoha the upper hand. Peace duration also makes sense because let’s be real, given that we have Danzo as our favorite Conflict Catalyst, the other Countries were really paranoid, all that was needed was a really bad excuse or something gone really wrong.

Which brings us to the beginning of the 3rd one, Sakumo is our Scapegoat and all shit brakes loose, Minato builds up a reputation, [Cannabi is a small Catalyst for the 4th one] and the 3rd one ends because The Yellow Flash is scary AF. So this one was the quickest.

4th one, we all know how it goes.


I would like to add that Minato graduates at age 10 from the Academy and he and the Ame Orphans have a 5 years of age difference, so I find it kinda Illogic that just when Jiraiya gets his Genin team he abandons it like nothing. So I headcanon that Minato takes only 1 year to pass the Chuunin exam because he’s one of the prodigies inside his generation, then Hanzo’s fight happens and Jiraiya stays with the Orphans (wich are 6) and Minato starts rotations with the Chuunin Corps at age 11.


Now that I finished, with these small calculations that I did, I can see clearly the ages of the other characters that were born on those periods, and I really hope this helps someone to have some age / event reference or smth. Thanks for reading!
Baby Daddy - Prologue: The Question - | Archive of Our Own
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Leslie desperately wants a child, so she asks her best friend Ben to be the sperm donor. Raising a child together will either be what finally brings them together, or what drives them apart forever. 

 It’s official! I’m turning the one shot a wrote into a full blown story. This is just the prologue which is the one shot I already wrote, but the two chapters are almost done, so there should be updates soon. Enjoy!

The wind

A/N: a little ghost story to get in the spirit.

Nursey and Dex were in the attic. It was late, or early, depending who you asked, and Dex had just climbed into bed. He’d tried his best not to wake Nursey, asleep on the bottom bunk, but the bed was rickety. It was dark. He couldn’t help a little noise. When he got situated, however, Nursey’s breathing was still soft and slow. Dex rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, let out a long breath, and finally allowed his mind to wander to something that wasn’t the genetics exam he had in the morning.

Dex thought of ice, cold wafting off it, the sharp sound of skates scraping over it. He thought of the exhaustion and sweat and happiness that came after skating suicides. Sunlight just barely beginning to shine through the windows of Faber. Broad shoulders and curly hair and a weary, contented smile to match his own. The laugh that bubbled out of him as the chirps flew back and forth. Happiness and belonging, at long last.

Dex was on the cusp of sleep, walking the knife’s edge between wakefulness and slumber, when he heard it; the soft, far away tones of the Backstreet Boys.

Dex’s eyes snapped open. He stared at the cracked paint of the wall in front of him, straining to hear the music.

“All you people can’t you see, can’t you see,” he heard float up from the direction of the bathroom at the base of the stairs. There was a rustling in the closet. Sweat broke out across his brow. Dex struggled to calm his breathing.

There was no reason to be reacting like something was wrong. Nothing was wrong. Everyone was asleep. The room was dark. There was a gentle October drizzle pattering softly on the window, and Nursey was snoring softly below him, but other than that it was silent, still.

Because there was no music. Dex was imagining it. He’d listened to that song this morning. It was just his brain remembering. It was a good song. Dopamine and all that.

Dex had managed to roll his eyes at himself and calm the fuck down when there was a breath and a giggle right next to his ear.

Dex yelped and jerked away, rocking the bed and making it hit the wall with a thud.

Nursey’s quiet snores cut off. He was quiet a moment, then he said, “Are you alright up there?”

“Yes,” Dex said, as obnoxiously as he could. He turned on his other side and closed his eyes.

There were a few minutes where everything was normal. Dex drifted off again.

Then something squeezed his butt cheek.

“What the fuck,” he yelled. He threw off his sheets and jumped off the bed, foregoing the ladder. He felt the impact of his heels hitting the wooden floor in his teeth.

“Dex?” Nursey asked, alarmed. When Dex turned around, Nursey was sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes.


“What’s wrong?”

“I need to ask you something, and I need you to not chirp me.”

“I can’t make any promises…” Nursey trailed off. It was a chirp in itself, but Dex went on.

“SomethingjustgrabbedmybuttcanIsleepwithyoutonight,” he said in a rush, cheeks dark, eyes cast to the side.

Nursey was stunned. He took a moment to regain his bearings, then said, “You want to sleep with me because…” His eyebrows were raised. One corner of his mouth was turned up. Dex was making this way too easy for him.

“Something just touched my butt,” Dex said, enunciating, training his gaze on the ceiling. He huffed a breath, making his bangs float up from his forehead and back down again. He needed a haircut.

“What touched your butt?” Nursey asked, eyebrows raised. Dex didn’t really care, because he also scooched over and lifted the covers as he did it so.

Dex dove under the blankets and pulled them quickly over himself. Nursey extended an arm across the bed, and Dex laid his head on it. They faced each other, a few inches separating their noses. “I don’t fucking know,” Dex whispered.

“The ghosts?” Nursey asked with faux seriousness. Dex almost believed it, but his eyes weren’t as somber as the rest of him; they were tight around the edges, as though he were laughing.

“There’s no such thing as ghosts,” Dex said indignantly. He tried his best to look down his nose at Nursey, but it was kind of hard while laying horizontal, with so little space between them.

“Then what was it?”

“I don’t know. The wind.”

“The wind.”

“Yeah, the wind.”

“The wind touched your butt.”


“… grabbed your butt.”


“… your butt.”

They looked at each other a moment. Nursey’s eyes danced.

“Stop talking about my butt,” Dex said gravely.

Nursey leaned forward and whispered, “The wind grabbed your butt.”

Dex heaved a sigh, rolled his eyes, and launched himself on top of Nursey. He forced an arm under his neck to get him in a headlock. Nursey shoved a knee in his stomach and flipped them over, straddling his legs and holding an arm down with his knee. He had Dex’s other arm in his hands. He looked down at Dex, breathing heavily.

“Fucking – “ Dex said, wiggling under Nursey. “Shit, I – Don’t you – Nurse, don’t you fucking dare.”

Nursey raised Dex’s hand, grinning madly.

“Fuck you, Nurse.”

Nursey slapped Dex’s cheek with his own hand. He did it again. And again. “Looks like you should fuck yourself, Poindexter. I’m not the one smacking you.”

“You’re a child.”

“Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.”

“Come on, Nurse. It’s fucking 3:00 in the morning.”

“So you should stop hitting yourself.”

“Jesus Christ, get off me!” Dex roared, rocking his entire body and throwing Nursey off balance. Nursey fell to the side, and Dex took the opportunity to climb back on top of him.

“The Son and I do share an uncanny resemblance, but alas, – “

“Shut the fuck up,” Dex said. He dropped down and kissed Nursey, shoved his tongue in his mouth so the only sound he could make was a surprised “hmm” in the back of his throat.

Nursey kissed back and Dex eased up. They went on, soft, warm mouths meeting and falling apart like the tide. Dex felt crackly in his shoulders and knees. Strong hands ran down his spine and grabbed his ass.

Dex moaned.

Nursey pulled back to say, “Calm down, Poindexter. It’s just the wind.”

Dex may or may not have strangled him.

lady-sanctuary  asked:

You may have seen it already but my sister sent me a link to a buzzfeed article about Bake Off and your Mel/Candice post was in it!

Aaaaaah oh my gosh, you’re right!! Thank you for letting me know!! Crivens, I’m not sure how I feel about my creepiness being spread further than tumblr, but there we go :’)

(here is the article, and also here is another buzzfeed page I found while searching about Val and Selasi that is so heartwarming I nearly died)