The-Thenardier's

This is how Les Misérables went right


Valjean: give me a place to stay please and thank you also I’m stealing your silver

Bishop: bitch you could’ve asked

Valjean: :0

Fantine: please don’t send me away for having a kid

Foreman: how bout I do.. anyways

Javert: hello Monsieur Mayor you look familiar

The mayor, sweating visibly: uh man idk what to tell you

Fantine: k well my life fucking sucks

Valjean: where’s your child

Fantine: *dies*

Valjean: wow rude

Valjean: *accidentally finds Fantine’s child* woah

Thenardier: you can have the child I don’t fucking want it I mean give me money or you can’t have her

Valjean: wow rude

Cosette: k you’re my dad now I guess fair enough

Valjean: I’ll take very good care of y- IT’S THE FUCKING POLICE RUN CHILD RUN

Cosette: *under her breath* he’s better than the Thenardiers

Javert: I’m sad can the stars fucking help me find this bitch and arrest him

Gavroche: life is good woah

Marius: *is sad because he’s alone*

Les Amis d'la ABC: hey marius do you wanna be friends

Marius: no

Cosette: damn I’m pretty now

Marius: damn she is pretty *proceeds to stalk her for over a year*

Éponine: hey marius you’re cool oh you like another girl ok then

Valjean: *is kidnapped by some random dudes that just so happen to be the Thenardiers while marius watches* wow rude

Enjolras: marius we’re gonna build a barricade are you with us

Marius: fuck if I know

Gavroche: hey where’s my parents

Some Guy: in jail

Gavroche: cool

Marius: I’m in love with you

Cosette: I’m in love with you too

Éponine: wow rude

Éponine: *proceeds to dress up as a boy so no one will question her presence at the barricade* extra? me? no

Lamarque: *dies*

Enjolras: wow rude

People of France: *build barricades* yas fam this gonna be lit

Bahorel: *dies*

Mabuef: *dies*

Jehan: *dies*

Éponine: *dies*

People of France: maybe not so lit *abandons Amis*

Amis: wow rude *dies*

Marius: guess I’ll die

Valjean: bitch no

Grantaire: *@ enjolras* so it looks like it’s just you n me ol chum

Enjolras: fuck this shit *dies*

People of France: aw, that’s so sad :((( they’re all dead :((( if only :(( we could’ve :((( helped them :(((((((

Javert: guess I’ll die

Marius: ok all my friends are dead wow rude

Cosette: let’s get married

Marius: k

Valjean: marius I’m an ex convict I stole bread but don’t tell Cosette k bye

Marius: k bye wait what

Marius: cosette your dad’s an ex convict he stole bread

Valjean: marius you had one job *dies*

Cosette: :0

Amis + other dead people: *singing about freedom they’ll never see*

Valjean: wow

Fic-vember Day 19

Try You On (les mis, eposette)

“Oh you have to try this on Cosette.” Eponine held up a light blue dress with white polka dots. It was very 50s and very Cosette.

She and Eponine were shopping at the tiny thrift store they always passed and Ep pointed to with a smile but they’d never been in until now. The racks were full of bright, beautiful clothing and scrunched too close together. Which meant Cosette and Eponine were too close together.

Ep handed her the dress and leaned over the clothing rack again. Her dark hair fell over her face and Cosette could smell the strawberry shampoo she’d admitted to using while wearing dark lipstick and a spiky leather jacket. Cosette’s heart rate quickened fractionally. She was trying not to be too obvious about the embarrassing crush she’d had on her friend since freshman year. Now they were juniors (and often classmates given that they were both social work majors) and she was still hopeless.

“You ready to find a dressing room?” Eponine asked, looking up at her again. Her unruly eyebrows arched dramatically and Cosette nodded.

Ep had a handful of things: the green velvet jumpsuit Cosette had thrust on her, some 70s looking jeans with embroidery on the pockets, and a few flannels that looked too cozy not to at least try on. Cosette was content with her dress, a pink skirt that looked vaguely like a tutu, and a cable knit sweater that she was sure Marius would end up stealing if she bought.

The dressing rooms were crowded. They waited 20 minutes before one opened and it didn’t look like another vacancy was in sight. “Go ahead,” Ep said. “I’ll get the next one.”

“We could share,” Cosette blurted before she was fully aware of what she was saying. “I mean there’s room for us to stand back to back and uh…I mean if you’re okay with…”

Eponine laughed. “Sure, let’s share.”

Cosette closed her eyes for good measure but it didn’t keep her from blushing ridiculously as Eponine undressed behind her. “Let me know when you’re ready,” Ep said, as Cosette tried to zip the back of her dress up. “You can tell me what you think,” she finished.

“I’m ready,” Cosette said, giving up on the dress. Ep was in the jumpsuit. It fit her like a glove, accentuating everything that was tall and confident and radiant about her. She put a hand on her hip.

“What do you think?” She asked, and suddenly Cosette couldn’t remember how to form words.

“Beautiful, you look great. Buy that,” she managed after a silence and breath held too long.

Ep looked at her image in the mirror and nodded in agreement. “Awesome, thanks. I don’t know where I’ll wear it but you’re right. I look fucking rad. Do you need help with that zipper?”

Cosette had forgotten about the zipper but now she nodded, turning around quickly. “I like how different our styles are,” Eponine said as she moved Cosette’s long hair out of the way. “It’s like opposites attract you know?”

“Yeah,” Cosette repeated dumbly. “Um, Eponine?”

“Yeah?”

“I know somewhere you could wear the jumpsuit.”

She could see her eyebrows going up again in the mirror. “Enlighten me.”

“Maybe to dinner? With me. As a um…maybe a date. If you’d be into trying that.”

Ep laughed and Cosette nearly fainted. She zipped up the dress and leaned her chin on Cosette’s shoulder. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Les Misérables
  • Valjean: i stole fucking bread
  • Javert: five years
  • Valjean: i tried to check on my family you piece of shit
  • Javert: fourteen more
  • Valjean: im free
  • Javert: technically,,,, you're not,,,,, but ok,,,,
  • Bishop: hey u look like ur having trouble come over at my place
  • Valjean: fuck it
  • Valjean: *steals*
  • Javert: ffs you wouldn't be in jail if-
  • Bishop: no it's cool i gave him that shit
  • Javert: oh.
  • 20 years later or smth
  • Valjean: aye im mayor now
  • Fantine: i have a daughter you inconsiderate imbeciles
  • Fantine's boss and coworkers: fuck you
  • Fantine: i don't want to do this
  • Valjean: u don't have to
  • Valjean: hey kid u want some candy
  • Cosette: fuck yea
  • Thénardiers: you want her? go have her
  • 20 more years later i think
  • Éponine: i lowkey love you
  • Marius: im oblivious as shit. ooOO a HOT girl
  • Cosette: ooOO a HOT guy
  • Marius: hey, take me to her
  • Éponine: ok
  • Éponine: (kill me)
  • Enjolras: REVOLUTION
  • Grantaire: you're gonna get us killed, moron
  • Grantaire: (but you're my moron)
  • Les Amis de'lABC: we died.
  • Éponine: me too
  • Valjean: mY FUTURE SON IN LAW IS DEAD
  • Javert: sTOP R I G H T THERE
  • Valjean: *gives Javert guilt trip*
  • Javert: oh
  • Javert: oh shit
  • Javert: *kills himself*
  • A year later I think
  • Marius: all my friends are dead
  • Cosette: i love you
  • Marius: love u too
  • Valjean: im dying
  • Cosette: please,,,, god,,,, no,,,, enough people have DIED already
  • Fantine: hey old pal. ur awesome
  • Éponine: u protected my crush. ur awesome
  • Bishop: ur awesome
  • Everyone: we're all awesome!!
Mincing Mockingbird + Les Mis

No one seems to have done this yet, so I’m taking it upon myself. Warning: this is gonna be a long ass post.

Valjean:

Javert:

Fantine:

Cosette:

Marius:

Eponine:

Enjolras:

Combeferre:

Courfeyrac:

Jehan:

Montparnasse:

Joly:

Bossuet:

Musichetta:

Feuilly:

Bahorel:

Grantaire:

Gavroche:

M. Thenardier:

Mme. Thenardier:

10

jean, javert and the great rebellion of 1832: prologue.

“It’s a complicated French novel
Everyone is dying or sad”

anyway because everyone is definitely wondering and not because I am just totally incapable of shutting up absolutely not  : 

Characters In The Gem AU Who Are Gems: 
Fantine
Les Amis 
Thenardier

Gem/Human Fusions:
Cosette
The Thenardier Kids , Because the Eponine-Cosette Symmetry is an inarguable narrative pillar of all things Les Mis Fight Me 

Characters in The Gem AU Who Are Actually Humans 
Valjean 
Javert 
Marius
Everyone Else Not In the Above Two Categories 

Why does no one ever talk about book!Eponine and how she’s a hyperactive, excitable, perfect mess? I mean, her first conversation with Marius is just, “Hey hi it’s nice to meet you your room is really cool and you’re kinda hot oh you have a crush on someone that sucks anyway that’s a really cool painting I see you found the letter my sister dropped wow my sister is so dumb seriously but I love her anyway yeah we send fake letters to people to get money cuz we’re poor did you know I can read I’m really good at it and I can write too do you want me to show you how pretty my writing is no well see you later then!” I’m all for cool, confident, punk Éponine, but I really wish I saw more of this side of her too.

3

Javert & Gavroche

The pages of Les Misérables featuring Javert and Gavroche.
I’m SO sad Javert only has one page ;;;;;;; But I’m actually not sure of what more I can use to make the portfolio complete (Meaning, I think I’ve done something with each character showing different skills  like expressions/poses/sketch of poses/props (I have already two turn arounds in the portfolio so adding another one is not very attractive)) sooo I don’t know. I’m not even adding Eponine and that makes me even sadder…
Hope I can come up with something for her, but for now I should focus on the pages I have programmed. 

fun fact about me, les mis and the italian part of the les mis fandom:

so due to a popular faniction (Les Amemes, which I recommend you) we like to call Eponine “Epo9″ because, even if the pronunce is different, the name written is Epo-NINE so Epo9 for the english pun

but in italian 7 is “sette” so we like to write Cosette as “Co7″

so the ship name Eposette is “Epo7″

that’s it, languages are weird but great

you know what? give me more platonic marius/eponine

give me marius encouraging eponine when she’s struggling to teach herself to read (and offering to help her again, laughing when she insists she can do it herself)

give me eponine busting her ass to keep her father and his gang off marius’ back- which, i mean, she already does

give me marius letting eponine spend the night in his flat when things go wrong with her family, and insisting she move in with him when she finally finds a job of her own

give me eponine as cosette’s maid of honor at the pontmercy wedding

give me strong, independent eponine and her best idiot friend marius

Eponine has the quote “Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” printed out on her wall as a checklist.

It looks like this:
- “leave their husbands” is crossed out.
- “kill their children” is crossed out and “steal children” is written above it in Gavroche’s messy handwriting.
- “practice withcraft” has a tick.
- “Destroy Capitalism” has a photo of Enjolras with the text “we need you” next to it. Lovingly donated by Grantaire.
- “Become Lesbians” has 6 ticks by it in rainbow colours.