Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and… you know I think… you’d also like to know that he is a very gentle lover. 
Bitsy: E-e-excuse me?
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t get me wrong. No, he’s not in like a sissy way. No, no, no… when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave…
Bitsy: That’s… my boy. and

Joey: Uh, yeah… This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That’d be kinda cool huh? Pitchin’ in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus…

Monica: Joe… Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.

Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds… Bird meat… Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to… you go to a restaurant and you say: “Excuse me, I’ll have a bucket of fried bird.” (laughs again) Or… or maybe just a wing or… (realises…)

the signs as friend's episodes
  • aries:The One with the Embryos (4x12)
  • taurus:The One Where Chandler Gets Caught (10x10)
  • gemini:The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song (9x07)
  • cancer:The One Hundredth (5x03)
  • leo:The One Where Monica Sings (9x13)
  • virgo:The One with the Stain (8x07)
  • libra:The One with the Joke (6x12)
  • scorpio:The One with Unagi (6x17)
  • sagittarius:The One with The Princess Leia Fantasy (3x01)
  • capricorn:The One with All the Poker (1x18)
  • aquarius:The One Where They All Turn Thirty (7x14)
  • pisces:The One with Russ (2x10)

I Have Friends In Holy Spaces,

Pretty. Odd.’s “lol like,, i know that the next song is gonna fuck you up like what a catch, donnie, tyler’s scream in goner, and welcome to the black parade so imma just give you a glimpse of that in the most inappropriate and unexpected part just so i can fuck you up even more *giggles* *munches on popcorn*”