There’s a town of about 70 people in Michigan – an incorporated community – called Hell. For $100, you can temporarily become the mayor. So comedian Elijah Daniel did just that, and he used his powers to ban heterosexuality.
Daniel based his ban almost verbatim on Donald Trump’s “extreme vetting” policy outlawing Muslims. And he really thought through the details:
His mayoral proclamation explains that when he was growing up, he was often told that homosexuals would go to hell. But “now the heterosexuals are trying to take that from us too,” Daniel wrote.
So, as mayor of Hell, he would establish “new vetting measures to keep radical heterosexuals out of our town.”
To make sure his words reached as many people as possible, he posted the ban on Twitter.
Lest he seem bigoted, Daniel offered local heterosexuals a chance to stay in Hell for a price: Fork over $84,000, which they would get back after one year of abstinence from straight sex.
“Reparative therapy” to find one’s gay side was also to be strongly encouraged. The alternative: being forced to wear a scarlet H and cargo shorts in the town square every morning for some public straight-shaming.
He was impeached shortly after enacting the policy, because every mayor of Hell gets impeached, but also because that’s what should happen when you try to ban an entire group of people from your community. And yet.
Film: THE MAYOR OF HELL (1933, d. Archie Mayo, USA)
Forum: Doc Films Format: 35mm
Observations: A socially-conscious Warners title about juvenile justice and machine politics, presented (to about 45) in a sharp Library of Congress print. A-star James Cagney appears for roughly 40% of screen time, leaving a host of contract performers and kid actors to round-out the action. And what’s a Warners movie from the period without a marauding nighttime mob scene!
Prompt: On a heist to steal something valuable the reader butts heads with Captain Boomerang, who is actually after the same prize himself.
“I may be small but I won’t hesitate to kill you"
Pairing: Captain Boomerang X Criminal Fem!Reader
Warnings: Cursing, sexual suggestion, fluff galore!
“Damn, that was too easy.” You giggled to yourself as you opened the door to the safe, the lock you picked seconds ago falling to the floor below you. Glancing into the small safe you grinned ear to ear at the sight of a small velvet box. “Finally.”
A few weeks ago a wealthy collector in Gotham had hired you to find a certain necklace, the one in this exact safe. He was a prestigious collector of historical jewelry, ones that belonged to historical figures or famous individuals. There was a festival of some sort taking place in Central City in the next few days, at said festival there would be fun historical exhibits where people could enjoy all the galleries and exhibits.
You couldn’t quite remember who this necklace had belonged to make it so desirable.. possibly British Royalty or even something as trivial as the Wife of the first Mayor of Central City. Hell, you didn’t remember. All you knew is where it was supposed to be held and what it supposedly looked like.
Reaching in you carefully pulled the velvet case out of the safe and opened it, your eyes gazed down and studied the brilliant rubies encrusted in the golden necklace. “Looks about right..” You mumbled to yourself before shutting the case and tucking it safety into your bag.
Feeling relief that this ordeal was almost done with you were ready to leave, which would involve climbing out of the vents and back out through the roof. After that, all you had to do was take the train out to Gotham and you’d have a big fat paycheck waiting for you upon arrival. Gotham, it was a gross city but in your line of work, it was a cesspool for easy money.
“Com’on now Darlin’!”
You jumped in surprise as a big booming voice filled the room. Without skipping a beat your hand reached to your side, attempting to pull your gun out of the upholster, but something hard slammed against your hand, causing you to drop your weapon on the floor. A Boomerang?
You gritted your teeth, damn did that hurt! Quickly you spun around to see a man across the room, he seemed to have just entered from the side door, the employee entrance.
“I didn’t realize I had to make an appointment to be the first one to break into this place.”
Studying the giant before you, it was almost hard to hide your intimidation, but you managed to do just that. Standing at 6′1 he had broad shoulders
big bulging arms, which held boomerangs. Of all things boomerangs! You knew better than underestimate weapons of any sort, being from Gotham you had seen your fair share of outrageous things.
“You’re too late for the party.” You chortled, sarcasm heavy in your voice as you attempted to mask your anxiety. Quickly, before the man had a chance to react, you snatched a knife from your boot and held it up in defense.
Chuckling at your response the man stared at you, caressing your body with your eyes. You wanted to feel angry but his soft blue eyes intrigued you. “You ain’t from ‘round these parts, are ya sheila?”
“Central City isn’t my normal territory no.” You responded casually, starting to feel at ease. You were only after one item, maybe this guy would let you be on your jolly way. “Just came here for work, but-” As you spoke, knife still in hand, you started to walk to the side of the room, towards the air vents, “-If you let me be on my way I’ll be out of yours, and all the other thugs in Central City’s hair by morning.”
“Oh, well nice to see a pretty face.. All the fuckers in these parts look about as appealing as an ass!” He cried, a crazy gleam in his eyes. “What ya got in the bag there, sweetheart?”
Shit. “Just one thing, the thing I came for.” You answered in a stern voice. “The rest is yours.”
“Just one thing?” He questioned, starting to stroll over in your direction. He seemed completely unphased by the fact you had a knife in hand. “Must be pretty valuable if that’s all ya takin’?”
Standing your ground you stepped back, glaring at the tall bearded man. “I wouldn’t say that.. Now be a gentleman and let the lady through.” Your voice was playful, you had come to realize that coming off as confident in cocky in the criminal game went a long way when intimidating others. Unfortunately this guy saw right through you.
“How ‘bout instead of being a good and proper girl you be a nasty lil’ bitch..” He chuckled, now towering right above you. “You ever fucked in one of these banks before?” Reaching down he placed one of his big gloved hands on your hips, giving it a friendly squeeze. “You’re a small lil’ sheila.. Let’s see if those legs can spread wide enough for me.”
Growing scared, and frankly angered, you punched the cocky Aussie square in the jaw and spat in his face. Your strength caught him off guard, for he stumbled back a bit and his eyes opened wide. Suddenly a wicked grin overcame his face.
“I may be small but I won’t hesitate to kill you!” You hissed, blindly swinging your knife in his direction to warn him off. Only slicing his cheek you darted out the side entrance before you could see his reaction, what a freak!
You weren’t even halfway down the street when you heard that scumbags voice again, he was shouting at you.
“Wait! Hold up!” You ignored him and kept running. “Babe, wait! Next time you’re in Central, hit me up for a good time! Captain Boomerang, don’t ya forget it!”
You had never missed Gotham more than you did at this very moment.