The-Gozerian

So I watched the OG Ghostbusters for the first time in a while

 and Im????? actually crying???

I mean what is up with these gd fuckboys and their defense of this film as a Paragon of True Cinema its such a mediocre cheeseball movie

  • Like…….does anyone actually remember the plot??? Because I do. Now. Kind of. It’s already leaving me
  • DEMONIC POSSESSION AND AN APOCALYPSE PLOT?? IN A MOVIE CALLED “GHOSTBUSTERS”?
  • ZUUL?? GOZER THE GOZERIAN?? 
  • ancient sumeria now theres some history for ya
  • but then
  •  SIGOURNEY WEAVER COVERED IN GLITTER AND AN OFF THE SHOULDER DRESS?? A GLITTERY OFF THE SHOULDER DRESS?? I mean werk girl but the campy-ness levels are insane
  • The special effects are incredible for their time but also sometimes…so 80s??? it kills me honestly when she opened her fridge and there was like a little pink world inside that was supposed to be trippy omggg
  • Bill Murray being front and center, doin that 1980s Bill Murray thing™
    • (The 1980s Bill Murray thing I think can be summarized by that one post: “ **holds a baby carrot like a cigarette* I’m just….. over it, you know? ”)
  • Also
  • Can I just
  • Bill Murray’s character is THE ACTUAL WORST 
  • he spends the entirety of his VERY FIRST SCENE trying to fuck his student
  • and its just creepy as fuck
  •  but its ESPECIALLY frightening when hes tryna get Sigourney Weaver like 
  • “Haha you say you have a ‘ghost’ in your ‘apartment’? I believe you sweetcheeks lets go take a look right now ok we can go RIGHT NOW…jk lets drop this ruse we both know why you asked me over you dont have to try so hard to get my attention of course I’ll go out with you”
  • “Youre possessed by an ancient demon!!!…but that ancient demon is horny and youre not around to protest so why not”
  •   LIKE WTF?????
  • (Ok well maybe I can see how fuckboys wouldnt want THAT legacy of playful misogyny to be overshadowed by Females)
  • AND HES BASICALLY THE MAIN CHARACTER LIKE THE OTHER GUYS ARE BARELY FLESHED OUT AS CHARACTERS ITS THE GODDAMN PETER VENKMAN SHOW
  • I reaaaally dont miss the “I see you, I wanna bang you, and I wont take no for an answer, arent I an endearing man-boy of a character” thing alot of 80s and 90s movies were just so blatant about
  • The only truly good thing in that movie is Egon/Annie 
  • May they one day realize theyre too good for this place and flee to have beautiful sassy nearsighted babies
  • BUT
  • TL;DR THE OG GHOSTBUSTERS IS AN ACTUAL HOT MESS THAT IS SEMI FUNNY AND V CORNY AND LIKE OBVIOUSLY A POP CULTURE ICON
  • BUT NOT FUCKIN CITIZEN KANE????? 
  • @fuck boys why

A semi well thought out wishful thinking Ghostbusters 2 fancast.

Stephanie Beatriz as Dana Barret: renowned Cellist and potential love interest for Jillian Holtzman 

Mindy Kaling as Lou Tully: Unappreciated accountant and Dana’s neighbor

Gwendoline Christie as Gozer the Gozerian: Interdimensional conqueror/Godess

 The film would follow a different plot than the original, obviously. I might write a summary later. 

Thoughts on Ghostbusters

tl;dr: There are some pacing issues and not all of the jokes work for me, but that’s par for the course for Ghostbusters movies. It’s a fun movie, a funny movie, and I recommend watching it.

Ghostbusters (2016) is loaded with references to the 1984 original, from visual references and injokes to cameos from all of the surviving main cast (with the exception of Rick Moranis, who declined the opportunity), Slimer, and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Despite this, the film manages to stand on its own and doesn’t make the mistake of retreading the characters and plot of the original. Erin, Abby, Holtzmann, and Patty may have some parallels to the old Ghostbusters, but they’re very definitely not simple genderflips. Similarly, the climax is a paranormal apocalypse threatening to destroy New York City, but it’s not Gozer the Gozerian and it wasn’t brought about by some long-dead Lovecraftian cultist architect.

Leslie Jones, Melissa McCarthy, and Kristen Wiig turn in perfectly fine performances, but I predict that the character everyone’s going to be talking about is Kate McKinnon’s Holtzmann. She’s the quietly competent engineer of the team, building everything from a flaky almost-working proton pack prototype for the first time they confront a ghost to an arsenal of diverse weaponry for the climax. She’s quirky, fun, and has a slightly odd approach to the world (“You try saying no to these salty parabolas.”)


Sadly, the biggest reasons people will be talking about her are not explicitly acknowledged in the film. Holtzmann is both uniquely individual and a frustratingly blank slate, because none of her backstory and very little of her present story is explored. Based on acting and subtext she’s clearly meant to be some flavour of non-heterosexual, but there’s enough deniability that she can be read as anything from asexual homoromantic to bisexual to het. Paul Feig has intimated that studio interference prevented him from making her canonically queer, which is a sad thing in 2016. We should have canonically queer characters in our summer action movies, not just queerbaiting.

I also suspect, based mainly on something that happens near the end of the film, that Holtzmann is on the autism spectrum. It’s not directly addressed in the text, but the delivery of the lines and the content can very easily be read as supporting this interpretation, as can her (now recontextualised) earlier actions. If it is intended it’s an awesome thing to have a kickass female engineer representing a population that doesn’t see much positive media portrayal, and if it’s not intended I believe we’ll see it as a popular headcanon among fans who are themselves on the spectrum.

Minor spoilers below…

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