The-Cobrasnake

2. The Nylon Shoot

Oh look - Cobrasnake is back. Supposedly - or so Yu Tsai tell us - he is the photographer on all our “favorite” Top Model photoshoots (sorry, Erik!) like the mug shots and slaughterhouse challenge and trailer park chic.

I’ve got to hand it to Cobrasnake, he’s perfected a trashy aesthetic, which makes him the perfect photographer to shoot the models’ Nylon spread. Even though we clearly saw the models at the pool in the daytime, Cobrasnake pretends that the models are going to break into this location illicitly by hopping the fence.

He takes some horrible photos on the way in:

And things don’t get any better once inside:

Again, they want to print these in a magazine?

Cobrasnake encourages Mikey to “be himself” because when he tries to model, he sucks. It’s not the first time we’ve heard this, though I’d argue his natural personality sucks even more. While “being himself” Mikey helps himself to a bite of Mamé’s leg.

Get a rabies shot, Mamé. Speaking of which, Mamé gets upset that Lacey holds a dog during her shoot. I’m going to agree that the dog doesn’t belong… the dog is the classiest thing on set, and that’s saying something for a pooch that just licked its own crotch a few seconds prior.

Cobrasnake chews out Nyle for paying too much attention to his interpreter. He wants to have the whole focus on him. Does he think the interpreter is having a side conversation with Nyle during the shoot? He’s just repeating the directions being shouted at Nyle - if Cobrasnake doesn’t want him paying attention to his interpreter, stop talking so much!

Finally, it’s clear that this show loves the whole “whorish virgin” storyline - Lacey has now stolen the trophy from Raelia. Throughout most of the shoot, the artistic directors shout at Lacey for looking like a skank.

Sorry, is “skanky” not exactly what the brief is asking for? If not, they need to seriously reconsider the set, wardrobe and photographer. Besides, you haven’t seen skanky until you offer Lacey some beads.

Wooooooo!!

Just kidding, don’t give Lacey any beads. You can’t trust her not to swallow them.

6 Funniest Moments of America’s Next Top Model Cycle 22 Ep. 15