The-Borderline

Having BPD Be Like
  • Me:I really like the idea of coming across as the dark, mysterious loner. I'll remodel myself to fit that.
  • Me:*Five minutes later* I really want to be like the flirty party girl who just wants to have fun. I'll remodel myself to fit that.
  • Me:*Another five minutes later* I want to come across as the person who acts kind of subdued happy and supports people but is secretly sad and tries to show that. I'll remodel myself to fit that.
  • Me:*A further five minutes later* I really like the idea of coming across as the dark, mysterious loner. I'll remodel my...wait a second...
  • <p><b>friend:</b> got everything?<p/><b>me, checking my pocket:</b> social anxiety, chronical depressions, eating problems, drug abuse, seperation anxiety, avoidance behaviour, self hate, - can't find my identity.
  • both:*laughing knowingly*<p/></p>

Does anyone else speak to their intrusive thoughts? Like it’s something I do to make them go away (which is pretty weird if you’re like standing behind me). I have to say things like “STOP” “GO AWAY” or “LEAVE ME ALONE” out loud which sort of breaks the stream of thought and interrupts it

………………………..which come to think of it many nt’s must think I’m completely insane (to use their term)

Okay so, this evening I am gonna wash my hamsters cage. I am also gonna do some research and gather sources for my sociology essay. Hopefully I’ll have some sort of a plan by midnight. I’m confused as to what constitutes as evidence/examples in these things… It makes me scared that I can’t do it and then I put it off.