The-Attractions

Motivation is only as present as you allow it to be. You must remember everything you have, not everything you lack. Focus on how far you have come, how much knowledge you’ve gained, your experience and how it makes you feel. Everything is possible, no matter how hard it feels at first, you are more than capable of anything life throws your away. Stand tall and believe in yourself.
— 

Believe in your own abilities and you will prosper by Amy Kennedy

24/05/17

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Here’s a documentary about this weird structure called “The Shrine” outside of a town in Iowa. I tried to drive out to see it with a friend at night once, but we chickened out because it was past midnight. Skip to about 10 minutes in to see it.

[banging table] okcupid! it’s been eight years! you guys have more data now! give us the more data!

also I went and edited the post on poly simulation because based on the way women message men and vice versa, the gale-shapley pairing algorithm with men as suitors makes way more sense – I mean, look at this 

Women as rated by men have an attractiveness curve that looks pretty normal. The interest men show in women is generally linear for all but the most attractive 15% of women. I’m dying to know what this looks like when it’s rated by women.

Men as rated by women have an attractiveness curve skewed way left, i.e. women think the majority of men are below average looking.

I misunderstood what these graphs were representing when I first made the post, and drew a conclusion that is no longer valid based on that misunderstanding! I’ve deleted my reasoning (it’s in the reblog chain) and have replaced it with this message. Thanks to thenightetc for pointing out my mistake. I’m leaving the speculation about why men and women rate each other so differently, because that’s unrelated to the stuff I was wrong about and is fascinating.

Re: the difference in the way men and women rate each other – the way the majority of men get lumped into meh territory – is this a quality of how men view women (okcupid blog writer thinks so), or a quality of how the human brain thinks about beauty and sexual dimorphism? Based on my own brain I’m leaning towards the latter, because women on average seem okay looking and there are lots of women who make me go ooooh, but in terms of physical attractiveness the majority of men on the street are comparatively underwhelming. I notice 10 really nice looking women per day when I go outdoors, vs 1~2 men. And I lean pretty straight.

How do I stand in the place of lack and not see it? How do I look through eyes that can’t see clearly, and not acknowledge that I can’t see clearly? How do I sit within a budget that isn’t big enough to pay my rent, and bask in the freedom of financial independence? How do you do it?

By looking for the positive aspects of where you stand. By being willing to talk about what you want and why you want it, and by filling your day so full of that sort of conversation, that that surpasses your attention of lack.

(…)By saying “It is so important to me to feel good, that I will have this conversation with this friend rather than that friend. Because that friend complains all the time, and this friend is happy.

By driving this way to work, even though it takes a little more time, because it is more beautiful, and because I can hear the birds.

(…)In other words when it becomes your dominant intent to feel good, you find yourself finding very obvious ways to do things a little bit differently, that stimulate you to vibrate in a way… In other words it’s a vicious circle of joy! Or it is a chain of pain, you can have it either way, you see. But whatever you’re vibrating is what you’re going to attract.”

—  Abraham
13/6 1992