The Slingshot

my favorite davids, ranked

here’s a definitive and totally subjective rating of davids

donatello: 3/10
honestly pretty embarrassing, but worth a mention. just your run-of-the-mill, oh-you-haven’t-heard-we’re-copying-classical-greek-sculpture-now david. stiff, awkward, and pretty dopey looking twunk. has the same expression of someone being told dona-fucking-tello sculpted this. can’t even hold his slingshot bc it’s too gay. don’t worry there’s a redemption arc on its way.

donatello pt 2: 9/10
fucking superb you funky little gay man. total glow up. a complete deviation from the norm by a well-known deviant. takes contrapposto to sultry new heights. look at this lad’s little hat and boots he’s not a nude he’s just naked. some people say goliath’s head is modeled off of donatello himself literally he was horny enough he said “step on me” in full fucking bronze. goliath’s helmet has little gay greek reliefs on it, not even remotely subtle. look at the feather going up his thigh and tell me u didn’t cross your legs when you did. commissioned by the medici for their palace, which makes it even cooler by association. 

verocchio: 8/10 ily baby
a perfectly fine lad, looking at him makes me smile. his little dress is so cute with its stylized arabic psuedo-script border, and the floral pasties? adorable. something about goliath’s head feels a little disjointed, but you know what? fuck him. he’s not important. david’s the real star here in his little cheerleader get up. what really makes me biased towards this one is that the model was supposedly verocchio’s star student, the young leonardo da vinci. and look how fucking radiant he is! love it.

michelangelo: 7/10
technically this thing’s great. look at the fucking veins on the hand that’s absolutely mental. but all in all it lacks the overtly homosexual intrigue of some other davids and, frankly, i expected more from well-documented gay disaster michelangelo. obviously a classic but also makes it prone to being too over-saturated. i do love his yaoi hands though.

bernini: 11/10
the man the myth the fucking legend! bernini always delivers and this david’s no expception. look at that movement! the drama! the whole thing screams baroque in the best possible way with the dynamism, the momentary narrative, that cute lil scrunched up face. only complaint is that it isn’t as good as some of bernini’s other work but i’m willing to let it go for the detailing on the fucking rope goddamn gian lorenzo you absolute madman. we stan a sculpting legend.

Robbie buys the kids things based on their aesthetics, sometimes without realizing it.

He sees a bottle of pink lemonade, buys it with a thought that the pink girl would like it.

He runs across the most ridiculous gold framed reading glasses and just kind of tosses them in his cart, thinking they might be the right prescription for the greedy kid.

There’s some sort of red greatest facts book that remind him of the pig-tailed girl, so he buys that while at the bookstore.

There’s some sort of blue statue of a video game character that he sees while out shopping for electronic parts for an invention, he picks it up for that one kid who is always at his computer.

He sees a lunchbox with a superhero on it, and finds himself sitting in front of it stuffing it with taffy a few hours later for that really young kid.

Sportarobbie Bonus:

Stuff like this continues for several months, before Sportacus catches Robbie putting gifts in mailboxes around town. Robbie steadfastly denies ever buying anything.

Sportacus goes and finds a red and purple teddy bear for Robbie and has all the kids in town sign it, before giving it to the villain. The villain is most definitely not tearing up…Not at all…No sirree, not Robbie. 

2

The Big Joe 5 Slingshot Crossbow of World War II,

Developed by the Office of Strategic Services (predecessor of the CIA) during World War II, the Big Joe 5 Crossbow was a weapon produced for the purpose of covert and silent assassination. Unlike other crossbows, the Big Joe was more of a slingshot, the energy of the weapon being produced by its 300 rubber bands rather than its triangular frame. Light and compact, the Big Joe featured a folding stock in order to make the weapon more compact.  The draw weight of the Big Joe was around 550 lbs, far heavier than any person could reasonably be able to cock.  Thus the folding buttstock also served as a rack and pinion used to cock the bands.  Maximum range of the Big Joe was around 250 yards, with optimum range being around 100 yards. To complement the Big Joe, the Little Joe was also developed, which was a crossbow slingshot pistol utilizing the same concepts.

Prototypes were produced for field units in Europe, and for Alamo scouts and Marine Raiders in the Pacific, but it was most likely never used.

During my days off this weekend I’ve been dreaming up starting a detailed manga-inspired comic, like a kind of classic and cheesy romance or something XD
Attaining hyper detail in drawpile is still so out of reach for me compared to programs like photoshop. I can’t achieve those slick and stark black pen lines like I used to, and it bothers me that it’s been nearly a couple years using drawpile and I still haven’t figured out how to get that kind of look! It’s seeming to be impossible. Gosh, I’m really starting to miss Photoshop! 😫

I hope one day PS, Medibang or Sai will adapt a whiteboard ability so I can have my artist buddies working on a quality canvas with me! Drawing is such a lonely job! A better program to work on isn’t worth leaving the comfort of having a buddy artist draw alongside you in DP.