The knight who say ni

85 Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

1. The four houses are not the Heroes, the Brains, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.

2. No matter how good an Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing Marijuana or Hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.

4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

5. I will not use Professor Flitwick as an armrest.

6. The Giant Squid id not an appropriate date for the Yule Ball.

7. I will not add my own lyrics to the Hogwarts school song

8. When called upon in class, I will not insist that the correct answer to everything is “42”.

9. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not

10. I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable as a sexual lubricant.

11. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.

12. I will not call the Huffelpuffs the “Special” house.

13. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

14. I am not allowed to say there is a fifth house called “Spaklypoo”.

15. I do not have a Daniel Potronus.

16. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

17. I will not take out a Life Insurance policy on Harry Potter.

18. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

19. Professor Flitwicks name is not “Yoda”.

20. I am no longer allowed to use the words “Bimp Cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.

20. I will not say the phrase “Dude, Get a life!” to Lord Voldemort.

21. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”

22. A Time Turner is not a Flux Capacitor and I should therefore not install it in any muggle car.

23. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.

24. I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with Lemon juice to see if he will become visible when wearing it and standing near the fan in the common room.

25. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon Cards and convince him that they are real animals.

26. I will not tell first years that “Mean Prison Peppers” is a basic Transfiguration spell.

27. Bringing fortune cookies into Divination class does not count as extra credit.

28. My name is not “Dark Lord Happy Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

29. I will not attempt to magically animate my Marshmallow Peeps.

30. I will never ask Harry if his Scar Senses are tingling.

31. I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of “the Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas Feast.

32. I am not allowed to make Light saber sounds with my wand.

33. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

34. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.

35. I will not sing, “We’re off to see the Wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

36. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.

37. Getting every one into the great hall to do the Time Warp will not get me any House Points.

38. I will not lock the Slytherin’s and the Gryffindor’s in a room together and take bets on which House will come out alive.

39. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more the 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

40. I will stop asking when we will make “love Potion Number Nice.”

41. I do not weigh the same as a duck and I will not try to use magic to make the duck weigh the same as me.

42. 42 is the answer to every questions on the O.W.L.’s

43. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of –1 is.

44. I will not put Dr. Filibusters Wet-Start fireworks in the urinals.

45. I will not poke Huffelpuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.

46. I will not sing the Badger song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

47. I will stop asking Professor Snape to the Yule Ball.

48. “To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an acceptable career choice.

49. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful.”

50. When fighting Death Eaters at the annual June battle of Good Vs. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, “There can only be ONE!”

51. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

52. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebot as a “big Black Sex Auror”

53. I am not a sloth animagus

54. I will not give Snape a portkey that will bring him directly into Professor Mcgonigal’s privet bathroom while she is in there…

55. First years are not to be led to Fluffy

56. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape that he takes himself to seriously

57. I will not dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.

58. Enchanting all brooms to hum “the Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is very annoying.

59. “OMGWTF!” is not a spell.

60. Yelling, “To infinity and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I said it when I sneak off on my broom.

61. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos.”

62. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes professor.

63. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors pixie sticks.

64. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles from the Revolutionary War in the Charms Corridor.

65. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

66. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

67. I will not sing “Defying Gravity” at Quidditch matches.

68. I am not allowed to bother Snape, and Dumbledore does not have “cookie Time.”

69. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.

70. I will not make fun of Lupin and his “Time of the month.”

71. I will not try to start “Naked Thursdays” in the common room.

72. I will not slip a sample bottle of Selsun-Blue into Professor Snape’s personal Snack box.

73. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in potions class.

74. I will not tell first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

75. If asked in class what the Avada Kadavra curse does, yelling “IT DOES DEATH!!!” may be correct but is not the manner in which you should answer.

76. It is not necessary to yell, “BURN!” every time Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

77. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles.

78. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “ the Library is closed for an undefined time” amusing in any sense.

79. Telling Hermione Granger that she is wrong is a very, very bad idea.

80. First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

81. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

82. Taking Fred away from George is NOT funny in any manner what so ever.

83. Taking Ron’s Chudly Cannons Book was a very stupid idea.

84. i will not use magic to make Cedric Diggory sparkle in the sunlight.

85. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to Paintball.

Trying to transcribe this phonetically. Help wanted!

Any linguists out there who could help me out get this down in IPA. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJBzJF_-cBA


I have this so far: 

ʔɛkiʔɛkiʔɛkiʔɛki bᵊˈtːeŋ ɹup:oiŋgᵊ nɫau


Very messy, but give me a break, still trying to figure out the IPA keyboard and such. Couldn’t figure out how to type the tones either. haha

coub

Ni!

huntress-of-the-forest  asked:

Sir Bun is the rabbit that attacks people. Im thinking maybe if Jack is arthur, Holster is Sir Lancelot, Ransom is Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir-Lancelot. (Or maybe the other way round). Then bitty would be Sir Bors, (the one who solves all the problems). I think the lax bros are better as the Knights who say Ni Nursey could be that one peasant that questions about the way the system of government is run. Chowder is the prince in the tower. Dex is the guy that guards the bridge

I’m too deep in essay hell to think of anything to add to this, but I appreciate it