Let me break your heart with this one! Here is the continuation to “The letter”! Let me know about your thoughts! Much love to everyone! (Picture is not mine!)
Only this one single word was yet enough to define how Harry felt.
Miserable. Every day every night.
Harry was dying inside. There was no cure to his broken and fragile heart other than the woman he loved with his all being. But she was gone and Harry had no idea about her whereabouts.
After she had left him with nothing more than a letter, Harry went totally nuts. His first instinct was to find her. He was determined to find her. There was no place he had disregarded when he went on his mission to find her. He had looked at her apartment but she did not open the door whilst Harry’s desperate attempts. Either she ignored him intentionally or she really wasn’t there. Where had she been then? Every day he had waited at the parking spot of her college exactly at the same time she would leave just to see a little glimpse of her but she never came out. It seemed like she completely disappeared from earth. Harry became more and more frustrated. What if something had happened to her? He didn’t want to imagine the worst.
However, his conscience could be calmed when he met Y/N’s best friend one day- who randomly had ignored him as well- on his way to the studio. She was about to run away from him but Harry was quick enough to grab her wrist.
“Where are you going?” Harry growled at her, his fingers wrapping harshly around her sensitive skin.
“H-hi Harry! Long time no see! H-how you’re doing?” The poor and terrified young woman called Chloe asked him. If there was something you could be afraid of, than it was definitely Harry being beyond mad. He said things he didn’t actually mean but his words still would destroy you in a matter of seconds.
“Save the blabbering and tell me where Y/N is!” He ordered, his eyes spiting fire.
“I-I don’t know, Harry.”
“Stop lying and tell me where she is? Where is Y/N?!” His patience wearing thin as a thread. He just wanted to know where his love was, is that too much to ask?
“She’s out of town, Harry.” Chloe said, her voice shaking. She always had been kind of intimidated by Harry and the way he was staring at her made her wanting to crawl into a deep whole and never crawl back.
“Out of town?” The answer took him off guard. Why would Y/N leave the town? “Where?”
“I don’t know, Harry, I swear. She just told me she wanted to sort things out. She needs time to think.”
Harry let go of her hand and shook his head in defeat. Whatever he had done to Y/N, it made her run away from him and the very thought of it hurt so damn much. He left Chloe standing in the middle of the street, not even telling her goodbye.
Knowing she was fine didn’t make him think about her any less. There were still unanswered questions in his mind and Harry couldn’t comprehend why she had left him. They were so happy and so much in love and Y/N never seemed to make an attempt to quit things. Many times she had declared her unconditional love for him, promising him to never part from each other and to stay together forever. Harry understood her feelings, the things she had written in the letter seemed quite logical to him but there was no reason for her to feel insecure.
Yes, Harry could have every woman he wanted however his eyes were constantly on his one and only true love. There was no one Harry could love as much as he loved Y/N. When it came to her, he was simply blind to anything else. His priority was to take care of her and make sure she was safe and Harry would never ever complain about it. He would be the biggest douche bag of the world if he did.
Months passed and there was still no sign of her. His thousands of calls and voicemails were left unanswered. He knew this was the way of her saying to get over her but he refused. He refused to believe it was over.
Her departure had left its deep mark on his life.
He once was full of life and love but now depression accompanied him throughout his daily life. His heart that used to be warm and kind was now nothing but cold as a stone. Harry had no desire to do anything anymore and working in the studio became more of an obligation instead of passion.
His friends noticed his terrible state and tried to help him as much as they could. Jeff advised him to write down his feelings, maybe it would kind of help him to get over her. So Harry did. He wrote down what his heart was telling him. And after hours and hours of thinking about her, he became a crying mess.
The tears would never stop streaming down his face. Even when Harry thought he had cried out his eyes, they would always produce more and more tears. Along with the constant crying, his drinking habits started. Harry was never a drinker, he only drank on special occasions however his terrible heartache led him to his new best friend. He tried to drown his sorrows by lots and lots of alcohol. He would do anything to get rid of that pain.
He would drink alcohol with breakfast, he would drink alcohol with lunch, he would drink alcohol with dinner and if he felt bored he would instantly escape to alcohol. He drank wine, beer, sparkling wine, vodka as if they were water. He would drink until he has overstepped his limits and passed out but the ache in his heart would still remain the day after.
Harry was slowly becoming mental and if he didn’t search for a psychiatrist he would finally lose his mind.
“My god, what did she do to you?” Anne remarked as she stood at Harry’s door, shock was visible on her face.
Harry seemed like he hadn’t left his house for days which was truly the case. His pyjama was worn out and he hadn’t changed into anything else since then. He had dark bags under his eyes due the lack of sleeping and his eyes were red and puffy and he had a hard time to keep them open because of the stinging pain he would feel. His normally clean and shaved face looked like he didn’t touch it for days. It were the nights that mostly took a toll on him. At night, all the images of him and Y/N he had memorized in his head appeared onto the surface, especially the experiences they made in the bed he was lying in. He couldn’t get used to the cold and empty space beside him every time he woke up or went to sleep. Her smell on her pillow was long gone but Harry still felt like it was lingering there. Deep down, he wished she was still there and engulfing him with her warmth. No matter how much she had hurt him, he just wanted her back because this was the only way he could breathe again.
“Come in mum.” Harry uttered and stepped aside to make space for his mother. Anne’s heart broke at the sight of him. Harry did not deserve this at all. The heartache.
She made herself comfortable by sitting down on his couch. According to his messy living room, Harry did not only seem to care for himself but also his house. A sigh exited her lips. It had to be stopped. The constant mourning over someone she trusted her son to had to end.
“Can I offer you something to drink?” Harry asked tiredly, running the back of his hand over his eyes.
“No.” His mother responded sternly, gesturing her broken son to come and sit down next to him. “Come here we need to talk.”
Reluctantly, Harry joined her at the couch, his eyes looking expectantly at her.
“What’s up?” Anne repeated his words unbelievingly. “Do you even know what you do to yourself?”
His expression changed to a confused one. “What do you mean?”
“You have to stop thinking about her, Harry. It’s not healthy! How many times do I have to hear you getting yourself drunk, huh? Do you know what kind of impression you do make, especially to the public who won’t let you go since the first time you stepped a foot into this business? You’re not only hurting yourself but us as well with your behaviour. Me, Gemma, your father… Y/N, she’s not coming back, my dear. When will you realise that?”
Every single world of her stabbed him like a knife right into his heart. He was aware Anne had a point but it was difficult to accept it.
“Stop saying that mum…” He uttered, his voice quite but it was enough for Anne to notice its shakiness. “She loves me, I’m sure of it, and she will come back to me. You’ll see it.”
“Harry…” Anne sighed. “If she had loved you as much as you loved her, do you think she would have left you? No matter how insecure she was about herself, she wouldn’t do this to you. She would have known you love her more than anything else but even your love did not stop her from leaving you. And if she really cared, she would have come back to you long ago.”
“Stop mum, please stop.” The poor young man croaked, a thick lump developing in his throat and he had trouble to swallow it down.
“It’s the truth, Harry.”
“I don’t want the truth, god damn it! I want her!” He suddenly yelled. Anne flinched at the volume of his voice. Harry had never raised his voice at her.
Realising his actions, Harry broke down into heavy sobs and his mother caught him with her loving arms, bringing him to an embrace. His tears wetted the crook of her neck but Anne could care less. Her baby boy was hurting and it hurt her as well.
“I want her back, mum. I want her back.”
“I know, dear, I know.”
“Why can’t she just see that I need her, mum? Why can’t she just see that I’m dying? I can’t live without her.”
“Everything will be fine, love. I promise.“ His mother reassured him, kissing his temple constantly to calm him down.”We’re going through this together okay and I will never leave your side. Women will come and go but I’ll always be there! I will never leave you.”
Harry pressed himself more against her, just wanting to be held and kept safe. Anne did not leave that day but spend her time with her son, letting him cry on her shoulder as much as he needed. He was a man in distress and she would sacrifice her life in order to safe him.
“C’mon mate, you need to get out of that fucking bed.” Jeff urged him, trying to get rid of the thick blanket Harry was covered with. His friend tried to convince to go to a bar with him, just a bit of distraction would do Harry good he knew.
“No…Leave me alone…” Harry whined, cuddling more against the covers.
“Do you want to rot here or what?” Jeff remarked. “Boy, when was the last time you went out with us, hmm? Now move that big ass out of that bed and dress yourself nicely. We’re going and I don’t accept any complaints, you hear me? Or I’m going to kick your ass myself.”
Harry huffed but stood up reluctantly. “Are you happy now?”
“Absolutely and know go under the shower, you stink!”
After taking a shower and being forced to get changed into fancy pieces of clothes to look at least more presentable, Harry was dragged into Jeff’s car and they made their way to the city’s most famous pub. Most of the people Harry knew hung out there.
As soon as they entered the pub, Harry’s eyes found some familiar faces. His band mates had been there too and waved him to their table. Jeff grabbed his arm and pushed him towards them. The whole group greeted him with hugs and handshakes.
“Have you risen again from the dead?” Someone asked.
Harry gave them a slight smile.”It seems so.” He said shortly.
“I’m going to order some shots.” Jeff informed and then disappeared.
The whole night was spent again with constant drinking, talking and laughing. After a few shots, Harry was drunk but he could still realise what was going on around him. Jeff was totally down, also a couple of other friends and Harry wondered how he would get back home. Maybe he should call his bodyguard and they could pick up Jeff’s car the next day. He wanted to leave and sleep out his intoxication.
He was about to make his way out of the pub to give a call however the breath was taken from his lungs as he saw a familiar figure a few meters away from him. He may be drunk but he would never miss to identify her. She was as beautiful as he remembered. She wore navy blue dress along with heels with the same color and her soft hair that Harry loved to run his hands trough was straightened to her shoulders. The way she laughed, the way her nose would crinkle and her eyes would close made him fall in love with her over and over again.
“My angel…” Harry muttered, tear reappearing in his eyes. Finally after months, he was at the same room as her. He could breathe again. She had not discovered his presence yet. She was happily chatting with another woman in front of her, and Harry decided to make a move on her. He needed to talk things through. He needed her back in his life.
He was so close to her but something made him stop abruptly on his tracks. His eyes were glued on the hand at the curve of her back as suddenly a guy positioned himself next to her, giving her a kiss on her cheek whereupon she laughed sheepishly. She leaned herself against the man’s side as if there was a kind of familiarity between them. A deep bond.
Did it only take a few months for her to fall in love again? Did it only take her a few months to replace Harry? What about her loving him forever?
Seeing her in the arms of another man shattered his heart into thousand pieces.
It felt like the whole world stopped around him. The heartbreak was horrible enough but seeing the actions in front of him was another dimension of pain. He couldn’t stop staring at them. He couldn’t stop tearing his eyes away from them. He should be at that man’s position. He should be the one to hold her like this, to press her against his side and to give her a kiss on her soft cheek.
He should be the only one and no one else.
Harry didn’t know how long he stood there and observed them but after a time his love excused herself and left outside, probably towards the toilets. He didn’t waste a second and followed her instantly. She still didn’t notice him. As she arrived at the bathroom, she was about to press down the handle as Harry approached her.
“Does he make you happy?” He asked, hurt but curious at the same time.
Y/N’s body completely froze as she recognized the familiar sound of his voice. For a second she thought she had misheard him, imagining things however as she turned around to face him, her heart accelerated. She was heating up and the warmth rose till her cheeks. Their eyes finally made contact after months. She did not know what to say, it was like her tongue was being knotted.
She gulped before she spoke. “Harry?”
The way she said his name had still the same effect on him as always. Butterflies fluttered in the pit of his stomach. He closed his eyes, enjoying her voice.
“What are you doing here?”
“Could ask you the same.” He said. There was an awkward silence between them until Harry broke it. ”Does he make you happy?” He repeated his question from before.
“Harry, I think you should really go home.” She responded, wanting to enter the bathroom but Harry grabbed her hands in his, preventing her from leaving him standing there.
“Home?” He croaked, another load of tears brimming in his eyes. His thumps ran gently along her knuckles. “How do you expect me to go home, when there’s no home without you?”