The Television Tells Us

In modern society most of us don’t want to be in touch with ourselves; we want to be in touch with other things like religion, sports, politics, a book - we want to forget ourselves. Anytime we have leisure, we want to invite something else to enter us, opening ourselves to the television and telling the television to come and colonize us.
—  Thich Nhat Hanh
Little Witch (Part 1)

Pairings: It’ll be a Peter x reader

word count: 1730

Requested:  Hey can you write one where the avengers go to recruit a girl they heard about? She lives in the deep woods and uses magic. When they find her they weren’t expecting someone so young since she’s only like 14-15. They start having second thoughts but she shows them that she can handle herself. She also wants revenge cause hydra killed her family trying to get to her.

A/N: I made the reader a little older and i hope it’s not a problem. I really liked the request and i have a big idea how to continue this. I hope you like it and if so let me know in order to post a Part 2 and maybe more ;) Enjoy (and sorry for the mistakes)

Originally posted by merlinemryspendragon


It was Saturday and everyone in the Avenger tower was finally able to relax. The whole week represented a lot of missions, hours of training and a serious lack of sleep. Today had to be their day off. Nat was trying to find an interesting film on the TV but for now with no luck. Steve was in his room immersed in his thought for the present again. Tony, as always, was doing something in his laboratory with Bruce but this time they weren’t eager to make a progress so fast, so they were mostly telling each other jokes rather than work. Clint and Vision, unusually, were cooking whatever they could think of while Peter, Wanda and Thor were ready to become tasters. Everything was going fine until a familiar and detestable sound reached their ears.

“Good morning, Avengers.”, said Colson, “How are you in this sunny and beautiful day?”

“Oh, hey Son of Col! We are perfect.”, Thor answered with a bright smile on his face.

Now everyone was in the living room looking at the man in a black suit showing on the huge TV.

“If you have to tell us something good then go on, if not…better fuck yourself.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you too, Romanoff.”, the man looked with a smile at the red-head and then turned again to the whole gang, “Okay, I will go to the main part. Three days ago something extraordinary happened in woods north of Minnesota.”, bellow him appeared some photos, “As you see, some of the trees are burnt but definitely not from a fire, and this one.”, a photo showing something like spikes coming from the ground became in view.

“What the hell is this?”, Peter exclaimed, “How is that even possible?”

“That’s what you have to find out.”

“What?! No!”, Tony said angrily. “No! Not going to happen! We have a day off, Colson!”

“I know you do, but it’s important. Given the fact it’s like 7km away from a Hydra base, it may be someone used for an experiment. And we need only three or four of you to go and check.”, the man announced.

“I’m in!”, Wanda said with no hesitations.

“Count me, too”, Clint raised his hand to show that he’s ready.

“And me.”

“Peter, you are not going.”, Tony declared.

“Why not? We only have to check what’s going on, that’s all.”

“He is right Tony, and I will go, too.”, Steve stated and the four of them received the needed information.

“I’m sick of Mr. Stark treating me like a kid.”, Peter breathed out as he and the other three avengers were getting in the helicopter.

“But you are a kid, Pete.”, Steve sat down and put his belt on. The others followed his actions and soon they were high above the ground.

“That’s not what I mean. I may be a kid as I am that young but I can look after myself. I can do things just like you guys. I want and I can become a hero. It seems he…he doesn’t want me to be one.”

“You know that’s not true.”, Wanda tried to calm the boy down, “He is just afraid. You and either I are new in all of this, but he, Steve and Clint are deep in this dangerous world and know what it costs to be a hero.”

“Wanda is right, boy. I share Stark’s thoughts but not completely. If you want to be a hero, you must know that you risk the lives of your beloved ones – family, friends, girlfriends… We all have experienced the feeling of losing someone; we just don’t want you to go through this at that young age.”, Clint said while checking his arrows.

“But don’t worry, we’ll be beside your back.”, Steve patted Peter’s shoulder and till the end of the flight nobody spoke.

Two hours later the group was finally at the mentioned place. There was no place for the helicopter to land so the heroes had to get down with the help of a rope.

“So…which direction should we go?”, Clint questioned as he, the last one, got on the hard ground.

“North.”, Steve looked at his compass to make sure he was right and then led the gang towards the destination.

“Why would somebody stay so deep In the woods?”, Peter decided to break the silence.

“I don’t think they are just staying there, Pete.”

“They are hiding.”, Wanda respond back.

“Why do you think so?”

“Colson said that there is a Hydra base in the distance…I think whoever managed to escape, is now terrified and…and angry.”

“How can you be so sure? Hydra probably sent out somebody to see if he can cooperate and serve them.”, the way Steve retorted back showed he had no good feeling towards the organization.

“Because I can feel it!”

“What do you mean?”, Peter was so confused given the fact he was new and didn’t have much information about the Hydra thing and Wanda’s powers.

“Sometimes I can either get in your head or memories, or feel your emotions.”

Steve was about to say something back as his anger has somehow unlocked but Clint was the one to stop them from a fight.

“Guys! We have a work to do and right now it’s in front of us.”, Hawkeye showed the previously seen spikes, which were like 10 meters away from them, “Can you solve your problems when we are back in the base, and I am away from your childish behavior?”

Wanda and Steve looked a little ashamed while Peter was still standing there with a stupid expression on his face while trying to figure the things out. While going to the strange and kind of a scary place the gang saw some burnt trees, others had a burnt hand mark on them, others were still up but their leaves were dry. As they were becoming closer a change in the temperature was felt.

“It wasn’t that hot minutes before. I’m sweating in this costume and now my body is itching like crazy.”, Parker announced as he began scratching.

“It’s coming from the inside.”

The spikes coming from the ground were making something like a dome. The sharp sides were touching at the top, while at the bottom they were forming a circle. This ‘structure’ was definitely made for some sort of protection.

“Maybe the person is inside this thing.”

“I will try to break it. Step back.”, Wanda commanded and then, using her magic, she broke one of the spikes. As she did so, another one grew but not upwards. Instead the spike with its sharp side directed at her body was about to kill her if it wasn’t Steve to save her.  They both fell on the ground while the others two tried to save themselves from the other deadly formations that suddenly appeared from the ground.  

“What the hell was that?!”, Clint exclaimed as he tried to catch his breath.

“I don’t know but we better find a way to…”, Peter was interrupted from Wanda’s scream to watch out. But his spider senses had already informed him about a danger. He jumped and used his webs to get on a high tree.  From up there he managed to notice the small aperture.

“I can get there and I will. Don’t try to stop me, we are losing time. When I get there you will attack and try to ruin this shield. Got it?”, the young boy notified the others through his micro earphone, “Let’s have some fun.”, Peter put his mask on and jumped from the tree. He landed just a meter away from the wanted place but as soon as his foots touched the spikes others began appearing. With his fastness he got in the hole seconds before getting seriously injured.

Although he has done it before, this time Peter made his superhero landing on his ass.

“Shit, that hurts.”, he cursed out but as soon as he did he was thrown against the strong wall made from the spikes.

“Tell me who the hell you are or I’ll kill you.”, a sweet, yet dry voice reached his ears. He looked up and saw a girl around his age standing defensive opposite him with a rage written on her face.

“I’m Pet-, shit! No, I’m Spiderman and I-”, but the boy was interrupted by being sent to the ‘wall’ again.

“You are lying! If Hydra is sending you, which I am sure about, you are gonna die in agony. They’ll finally see what I am capable of! That’s what they want, isn’t it?”, the girl screamed and clenched fists. Peter, who was thrown again, managed to see what she was doing and how she was capable of whisking him wherever she wanted. The guy soon realized she was a witch just like Wanda.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. We are here to help you”, as soon as those words were spoken, the girl was ready to make that boy shut up by repeating her previous actions but Peter was faster. He sent webs towards her hands, sticking them on one of the spikes. She tried to escape but with in vain. Peter used this opportunity to scan the girl. She was his height, with a (y/h/t) (y/h/c) hair, (y/e/c) now full with anger. Her clothes were dirty and scattered, her face slightly sunken maybe due to the lack of food.  

Suddenly the whole structure was hit and a part of it ruined down. The girl used this as an opportunity to go away and this time she managed. She began running but the boy shoot web at her and stopped her. The witch fell on the ground and looked at the four people standing meters away.

“I’ll kill you!”, she screamed and sent a stone towards the group. Wanda was the one to create a shield with her magic and protect her friends. The girl’s eyes widen as she saw that somebody had powers just as her.

“Stop attacking us and just listen!”, Wanda spoken calmly.

“We are here to help you, don’t need to be afraid.”, a man with a soft voice gave his hand to help her stand. The girl looked up and was met by a dirty blonde hair and kind blue eyes.

“C-captain America?”

Part 2 

tmz.com
Barron Trump Thought Kathy Griffin's Beheaded Trump Image Was His Dad
Barron Trump was watching television Tuesday when Kathy Griffin's photo appeared on the screen, and his initial reaction was that something terrible happened to his father.

“Trump family sources tell us Barron was in front of the TV watching a show when the news came on and he saw the bloody, beheaded image. We’re told he panicked and screamed, “Mommy, Mommy!”

As it was put to us, “He’s 11. He doesn’t know who Kathy Griffin is and the head she was holding resembled his dad.”

Melania called out Kathy, saying what she did was disturbing, wrong and “makes you wonder about [her] mental health.”

President Trump also blasted Griffin for posing with the head, saying, Barron was having a hard time dealing with it.

Griffin has apologized.”


Bitch needs to be fired

In modern society most of us don’t want to be in touch with ourselves; we want to be in touch with other things like religion, sports, politics, a book - we want to forget ourselves. Anytime we have leisure, we want to invite something else to enter us, opening ourselves to the television and telling the television to come and colonize us.
—  Thich Nhat Hanh

PLEASE READ AND HELP US I know this doesn’t have to do with all of the posts I regularly post, but I need you to know what’s happening in my country, and before you start reading what I want to say I would like to apologize in case I misspell something, soooo…. Here I go.
I live in Venezuela, a small country located north of South America, we are nice, warm, exciting people, but since 1998 everything has fall. The government of Hugo Chavez took power in that year and our country has never been the same since “el chavismo” took over our lives.
Let me explain it to you, we live in a dictatorship, where our elections are compromised, where we CANT find ANY food, medication, construction materials NOTHING, our media has been shot down and we don’t even have channels on the tv that speaks the truth and really tells us what’s happening.
People is dying because they are hungry, because they are sick, because they are homeless and the government just act like NOTHING is happening while actually EVERYTHING is. The military defends the government, why? We just don’t know, they choose to protect an small group of bad people either than defend their own brothers.
On December 6th 2015, we, Venezuelans voted for the new National Assembly and thanks to God we won, but dictatorship is a dictatorship is a dictatorship and on April 6th of this year 2017 the government decided to override ALL the power of the assembly that us, Venezuelans, choose, and since that day pacific concentrations all around the country started, people no matter what age or sex have been staying in the streets for days, only hoping that their actions motivates other people to do the same.
But these people has been assaulted by the militia, throwing them toxic gas and shooting them just to keep our voices shut, but we are not going to stop, because now our scream for freedom is louder than ever. 28 kills in 20 days, most of them were students, today my friend died and tomorrow I’m going to take the street and fight for my country.
QUE VIVA VENEZUELA CARAJO🇻🇪🇻🇪🇻🇪

Preference: You Get Brought Up During An Interview

Summary: basically what the title says lol

Warnings: Some swearing!
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Ashton: The breakup hadn’t gone well. Everyone knew that, even the fans. Both Ashton and you stopped following each other on all social media and all posts made about each other were deleted. It was like (Y/N) and Ashton had never happened. Of course, looking at Ashton, anyone could see that something had happened that had ruined his entire world. Hell, you had been his entire world for almost a year before walking away. Ashton made it very clear to his fans, friends, and family that he didn’t want to talk about you. So when Barbara Walters asked, “Who’s single?”, everyone was shocked. Ashton raised his hand. He licked his lower lip and looked down, his face full of pain. Surely, Barbara wouldn’t ask about you. That would be too risky. All four boys seemed to hold their breath when she did ask, “Ashton, you just broke up with a girl, correct?” Ashton swallows hard and looks at her. Michael jumps in, determined to help his best friend. “You know, maybe we should stick to just questions about our-” He gets cut off my Ashton. “Yes, but she broke up with me. I did something really stupid and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.” Calum pats Ashton on the shoulder lightly, but Ashton shrugs him off and looks straight into the camera. “(Y/N) was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. She treated me like a normal person and I took advantage of that.” Ashton pauses, taking a deep breath. “I went on tour and cheated on her because on one stupid drunken night. She deserves a hell of a lot better than me, and I really hope she finds that.” Ashton finishes, his eyes watering. He tries to blink the tears away, but one escapes and rolls down his cheek. But little did he know that you, the one that got away, was watching the interview and crying along with him. “I don’t want to find better, you asshole. I want you.” You say to yourself, grabbing your phone to send him a text.

Calum: “So, Calum, who’s the lovely lady you’ve been spotted with lately?” Nancy O'Dell asks, grinning as a picture of you and Calum walking down the street pops up on the screen. Calum sighs as the other guys laugh. “We’re just friends.” Calum says. “Really good friends.” Ashton says. “So good that he takes her for dinner almost every night.” Luke chimes in, grinning. Calum rolls his eyes. “Well, what’s her name?” Nancy asks. “(Y/N). We’ve been best friends for three years. That’s all.” Calum says, smiling as he thinks of you. Michael smirks. “Well, there was that one time in Vegas-” Calum slaps his shoulder, causing Michael to stop. “Fans seem to like her.” Nancy comments. Calum’s smile grows wider. “Oh yeah, they adore her. They ship us so hard.” He chuckles, thinking of the fans. “Calum wants to get with her, but she’s a little slow on figuring that out.” Ashton says. “Shut up. Just shut up.” Calum mumbles, covering his face with his hand. You laugh from your living room, watching your best friends on tv. “Tell us about her.” Nancy instructs. Calum bites his lip. “Well, okay. She’s amazing. I pretty much know everything about her.” Calum chuckles again. “She comes to every show that she can and cheers us on from backstage. When I’m down, she makes me smile. Her cooking is terrible, but she tries to cook for me once in awhile, which is nice. Her laugh is like music, but way better.” Calum tells Nancy, his smile only growing as he speaks. “See, he’s in love with her.” Luke says quietly. “That’s sweet.” Nancy says, smiling. You bite your lip. Calum knows all the bad things about you and he loves you anyway. Maybe you would have to give him a chance because come on, what could possibly go wrong?

Luke: Everyone freaked out when Luke posted the first photo of you on Twitter. He loved you immensely, but the fans weren’t so crazy about you. They didn’t hate you, but they also weren’t a fan of you. “Okay, so before the show, Luke, you said you have an announcement to make.” The interviewer says. Luke nods, coughing. “It’s about my girlfriend, (Y/N). We’re getting married.” Luke confesses. The other boys grin and clap, as the interviewer frowns. “She’s been dealing with a lot of hate lately. Are you sure marriage is the right choice?” She asks. Luke’s jaw clenches. “She’s the love of my life. Fans need to understand that. (Y/N) isn’t going anywhere. She makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” He says firmly, looking annoyed at the interviewer. “How does she handle the hate?” The interviewer asks. “It used to bother her a lot more. Now, she doesn’t care what people think.” Michael pipes up, saying, “It’s crazy, she makes jokes about the hate and they’re hilarious.” The other guys laugh, nodding in agreement. “I love her. I always will.” Luke says softly, smiling.

Michael: You and Michael were nothing but fuck buddies. Everyone knew that because Michael was very open about it. At first, you both tried hiding it but when pictures kept coming out of the two of you going into hotels, there was just no point in hiding it. “So, how’s (Y/N) doing, Michael?” The interviewer asks, smirking. Michael grins, glancing over at you backstage. “She’s great. We’re great.” The interviewer chuckles, mumbling, “Guess that means the sex is great too.” Your face heats up and you look away from Michael. “Oh, hell yeah it is!” Michael says loudly. “They’re like animals.” Luke mutters, a look of disgust crossing his face. Michael chuckles. “Want some water, miss?” A guy backstage asks you. You smile. “Yes, thank you.” He grins. “Can’t have a pretty lady like yourself getting parched.” You roll your eyes but laugh as he tells you cheesy pick up lines. You glance up when the interview takes a break, seeing Michael coming towards you. “Hey! How’d it go?” You ask, but he doesn’t answer, only grabs you by the wrist and pulls you out to the hallway. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Michael snaps, his jaw clenched. “Um, what?” You ask, confused. “Flirting with that jackass while I’m doing an interview. You’re mine, did you forget that?” Michael asks, his lips attaching to your neck. You bite your lip. “I wasn’t flirting.” Michael growls a little, looking at you. You lick your lower lip and he groans. His lips meet yours in a rough, heated kiss. “You’re fucking mine, do you hear me?” He asks firmly, his fingers digging into your hips. You moan a little, nodding. “What do we have here?” The interviewer asks, leading a camera man into the hallway. Michael curses under his breath and pulls away. He follows the interviewer back inside, pausing only to look back and say, “We’re not done here.”

This is my small tribute for the best Batman ever shown in television. 
My mom used to tell me how she and her little brother used to play Batman and Robin when they were kids. This is how I picture it. Thanks for all the fun and games, Adam West.

In modern society most of us don’t want to be in touch with ourselves; we want to be in touch with other things like religion, sports, politics, a book - we want to forget ourselves. Anytime we have leisure, we want to invite something else to enter us, opening ourselves to the television and telling the television to come and colonize us.
—   Thích Nhất Hạnh
8

“Band of Brothers” + TV Tropes

↳ Richard Winters (Damian Lewis).

Pennywise SFW Headcanon #6

Pennywise and Human Sleep:

  • Wanting to play, talk, etc. all night
  • Finally explaining to him that you need sleep
  • “What is sleep?”
  • Explaining sleep and why you need it
  • “Fine you may sleep…”
  • Big spoon
  • Lots of cuddling
  • Getting bored during the night and trying to wake you up
  • You hitting him with a pillow and telling him to sleep
  • Trying to sleep
  • Failing
  • Waking you up again
  • Hitting him again with a pillow
  • Being tired in the morning
  • Leaving things for him to do while you’re asleep
  • “A puzzle? I do not want a puzzle”
  • Teaching him how to use the TV
  • Him telling you in the morning about all the things he watched on late night TV
  • Showing you the drawings and puzzles he completed
  • Snuggling with you for a few hours before going to do his nightly activities
  • Stalking human adults at night
  • Taking up more hobbies
Being a MSTie: On Both Sides of the Screen

Hey!  My name is Rebecca Hanson.  I’ve been a MSTie for over half of my life. And for the past year I’ve been a writer, Gypsy and Synthia on Season 11 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 The Return.  I bet you’d like to know how this all happened.  I am more than happy to tell you all about it.  Now that I can!

One Saturday in November 2013, Joel Hodgson (creator + original host of MST3K), Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Clayton Forrester + Crow T. Robot) and Frank Conniff (TV’s Frank) came to Chicago to speak at the Museum of Broadcast Communications because it was the 25th Anniversary of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  My friend Kevin had posted on Facebook that he was bummed to be out of town for this grand event but if any of his friends could go that would make him feel better about it.  Thankfully, I was in town that weekend and so was my husband, Tim, and our two friends, Ross and Nikki.  The four of us met up at the MBC happy to be out of the cold, grey autumnal rain.  We found pretty decent seats.  I could not see the panel that well but once Joel started speaking, I was instantly calmed yet exhilarated and magically transported back to my college days where we spend certain weekends we didn’t have shows (I was a theatre/speech major so a decent amount of my college weekends were spent rehearsing and performing) at various peoples’ houses or dorm rooms watching as many episodes as my friend Jason’s dad could fit onto a VHS tape.  These were the days before streaming or even DVD’s for that matter.  Jason’s dad would record episodes of MST3K from Comedy Central and the (then) Sci-Fi channel for us to devour in our small, cloistered college town in northwestern Iowa.  The Mondays after our MST3K Marathon Watching weekends, my stomach would hurt from all of the gut-busting giggles we let out while watching these hapless fools with their robots make miserable movies magical with their humor.  It was an incredibly bonding time with this group of friends and it also made me realize, hey - these guys aren’t too far from me - I mean, I only grew up Iowa, a few hours south of The Cities and these guys were making comedy (and a whole universe, really) that looked deceptively simple that I could not get enough of.  I was inspired by it all.  

And that Saturday in November 2013 (many years after college), to be in Chicago, with my friends and husband - each of us had moved to Chicago at different times for the sole purpose of learning all forms of improv and sketch comedy to become performers and each one of us was (and still is/are) - was an extra special experience to share.  

After these fine gents were done speaking, they opened it up for a Q & A.  There was a little voice who waited patiently as other grown-ups asked their questions, when it was finally this little voice’s turn, he asked Trace, “How old is Crow?” 

And Trace said, “Well - how old are you?” 

“EIGHT!” the little voice proudly shared.

“Well, that’s how old Crow is, too.”

Cue the tears streaming down all of our faces as the discussion wrapped and a bunch of us bee-lined it to merch.  My husband and I bought a DVD set then, along with our friends Ross and Nikki, headed to the line where everyone was waiting to get things signed by ‘Joel Robinson and the Mads’.  As Ross, Tim, Nikki and I were waiting, we were scheming.  Ross was part of the Mainstage cast at Second City and Tim had understudied that show the night before. Nikki, Tim, Ross and I all performed with Second City in various capacities so we knew we could all do the improvised set that happens after the second show on Saturday nights.  We were wondering if Joel, Trace or Frank would care to join us on stage?  The thing is, we are all pretty mild-mannered, if not down-right shy at times.  But since I was not part of that particular cast that evening, I decided that I would be the one to ask them once we got up to the table… 

But as we approached the table, Joel exclaimed to Trace and Frank, “Hey! These are the Second City Guys!” And Ross, Tim, Nikki and I lost our minds! Unbeknownst to anyone, Joel had been to the Mainstage show the night before and immediately recognized Ross and Tim (they’re both very strikingly tall, handsome and funny dudes).  We all exchanged pleasantries and had our postcards signed and took pictures with them. 

I told Trace how much he (and the whole MST3K gang) influenced and shaped our comedic voices and God Bless that sweet Trace Beaulieu, he said, “You already had it in you.” 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We asked them if they would be interested or available to come play the set that at Second City that night.  Their travel schedules did not allow it.  But Joel said he would be interested in getting dinner with us if we could.  Of course, all of our little comedy-nerd hearts burst at this invite.  Joel, Ross and Tim connected on Twitter (I was not on Twitter at that point) so we could arrange a time and place.  Luckily, Joel was cool with eating on the earlier side since so many of us had shows that night.  And more luckily (?) he was cool with us inviting the casts of the Mainstage and etc to join us. 

We met and dined at Adobo Grill (the Mexican restaurant that would nearly two years later, burn to the ground and take a good chunk of Second City with it) at a sensible hour.  I sat right next to Joel Hodgson, my long-time comedy hero and we chatted it up about Minnesota, Valleyfair! Amusement Park and all things Midwestern.  As our food was being served to us, Joel said in his thick Midwestern Mom voice, “Should we saaay graaaaace?” 

I said, “Oh, for nice, we should, ya.”

All of us were in awe to dine upon fine Mexican cuisine with the guy who created the show so many of us memorized and loved for so many years.  It was very cool.  I did ask Mr. Hodgson if he would mind getting a picture with just Tim and myself.  He very kindly obliged.

Oh, it was such a nice supper!  Oh, we were so happy!  Uff da, it was so nice! THE END. 

OR WAS IT???

A few weeks later, Joel direct messaged Tim on Twitter to wish us both a Merry Christmas.  

JOEL WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO WISH US A MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS - WE LOST OUR MINDS!!!!

In July of 2014, I came home from Second City and Tim was playing a video game.  He had a smirk on his face.  Tim told me that Joel Hodgson just messaged him, wondering if he could get my phone number… 

I looked my dear husband in the eye and said, “Do. Not. Mess. With. Me.” for I thought he was playing some sort of stupid joke on me.  Which is really not his style at all but — why would Joel remember me and want my info, not Tim’s? He had given Tim his phone number so… I called him.

I called Joel Hodgson’s cellular telephone device with my own cellular telephone device.  I wasn’t shaking at all.  I wasn’t at all nervous.  I wasn’t at all —- mentally barfing with excitement…. 

Joel wondered if I was able or interested in helping him on the final day of Wizard World in Rosemont, IL, that next month (August).  Would I be willing to hang out with him all day, at his booth, and help him talk to all of his adoring fans and learn some lingo and just hang out? 

With him?

With Joel Hodgson?

Me?

“Daaaaahhhhhhhhhh, yeah, Joel, noooo problem!” I says to him. 

So, a few nights before I was to hang out with him at Wizard World, he and his friend, Julie (who was helping him the first few days), Tim and I met up for dinner to chat more and she would give me more of the low down on what I needed to do that Sunday at the convention.  So - yeah, Tim and I were gonna have dinner (again!) with Joel!  How cool are we?

I will tell you something I have learned about Joel through the years: if there is some sort of deviled egg option on a menu - he will order it.  And enjoy it. 

Another fun dinner in the books with Joel, I got my info, we all headed our separate ways and that Sunday arrived and I drove out of the city to Rosemont to attend my very first comic book convention (or as most of you say Con) as Joel Hodgson’s Helper. 

It was pretty amazing - all of the costumes, all of the various celebrities, we had (of course) all-access to where ‘the stars’ eat and that was a trip, just seeing all of these people going through a buffet line like they were regular people but only regular people go through buffet lines NOT COMIC AND TV STARS!?!?! THEY ARE JUST LIKE US, I TELL YOU!!! 

After we ate - okay - I barely ate because I was too nervous but I was thankful for fizzy brown caffeine so I slammed that down - Joel and I were lead by security to this little ‘room’ made of pipe and drape so various people could get their picture taken with Joel by a photographer with a proper camera.  I shared some of my spearmint Altoids with Joel (I am good at making sure people have fresh breath) and checked that his hair was in place (he had been wearing a hat earlier) for all of the pictures with his adoring fans. After that photo session, we were lead by security again to Joel’s booth, where he unpacked Tom Servo from the suitcase he was carrying (he didn’t even let me hold the suitcase, even though I was there to assist him. Ah, Joel!) and it is here I started tearing up a bit because I had never been so close to Tom Servo (well, at least at that point in my life) before.  Joel stopped and said, “Rebecca - you know this is not The Original Tom Servo or anything.” 

I told Joel, “Just let me have this moment, okay?  Then I’ll be cool.” 

He chuckled and put Tom on the table, along with various Joel Robinson headshots and, I think, a poster that Steve Vance had made, too.  Then we spent a few hours with lovely MSTies coming to meet Joel, get things signed and I took pictures with their phones of them and Joel.  We did this for awhile, then he was going to speak in another room.  As we walked from one section of the convention center to the other, I had mentioned how much I enjoyed the article about MST3K in ‘WIRED’ magazine earlier that year.   “Oh… you read that?” he asked in his droll Joel voice.  

“Uh, yeah, Joel Hodgson.  I did.” I admitted.  I also flat out said, “If you’re in something, I am going to read about you.” 

For the next hour or so, Joel spoke in this huge room.  There were a ton of questions asked by various MSTies, as it was part Q&A.  I took a few pictures of him speaking because I figured he would want some and probably didn’t think of doing that.  He delighted and charmed the whole room and made all of us laugh a lot… 

but as charming and informative as he was, we still did not get the answer we were all secretly hoping for: That Somehow MST3K Would Return.  I honestly do not remember if anyone out-right asked but, come on, how many years (decades) had we all been wishing and hoping that it would happen?!? 

After the Q&A, Joel and I returned to his booth.  He smiled more and signed more and then it was the end of the day.  I asked him if I could possibly get a picture with him and Tom?  He wondered who would take it for us.  I said I would. Welcome to Selfies, Joel.

We loaded up the booth and he wanted to pay me - which, BELIEVE ME hanging out with him all day was payment enough, I refused, but then he insisted and then he really wanted to do the bit where he literally payed me under the table - so yes, he gave me cash under the table and told me not to blow it all on drugs.  (I only blew half of it on drugs!) 

**** KIDDING!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO DO DRUGS!!! FOR REAL!!!****

but as we were leaving the convention center and I will never forget this, he said how he was hoping to some day get MST3K back but who knew if all the sea of legal stuff could even be crossed at that point?  But he said, “If I were ever to get it going again, do you think you and Tim would want to write on it?” 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“DAMNIT, JOEL, YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY AGAIN!  ON AN ESCALATOR!!!” I couldn’t even be cool about or not emote.  I kind of got it together enough to say, “Yes.  Please.  That would be the highest honor Tim or I could ever imagine.  Yes.” 

Then we made sure his taxi was cool with getting him from his hotel to O’Hare and I got into my Subaru and caught my breath a bit. I thought about texting Tim this crazy thing Joel had said to me but could not put it in writing.  I almost thought that would hex it.  And, I honestly thought that Joel was just being nice to me by saying that because I had helped him out all day. But as soon as I got home, I spewed out to Tim: “JoelHodgsonsaidtomyfaceifMST3KevergetsbackontheairwouldyouandIwanttowriteonit?!?”

Tim was also as dumbfounded as me.  I said, “I told him thank you and I kinda started crying on the damn escalator and I said it would be our honor.  But, I think he was just being nice to me because I helped him today so let us never think of this again.  Just know he said it.  Then we have to forget it.” 

Cuz - that’s the kinda thing ya just forget about, right? 

April 2015 comes along.  Joel was coming to Chicago again to promote ‘Other Space” on Yahoo! Screen.  He asked if Tim and I would want to get together for dinner again?  This time, he really wanted Chicago style pizza.  “Is it lame, Rebecca, to want to have Chicago style pizza in Chicago?  Am I just a lame tourist by wanting that?” he asked me over the phone.  

“Not at all, Joel.  Do you mind if we have some friends (more of your adoring fans) join us?” I asked.  He was cool with it.  He met up with us.  We devoured some Chicago style pizza with our friends, Kevin and Carisa. It was about a week after my birthday.  It was raining again.  Joel was able to come see Tim (and Carisa) in his etc show at Second City.  I went along, too. Someone from Yahoo! Screen met us there but I can’t remember her name. Joel laughed a lot during the show.  I made sure he did not forget his umbrella.  He could not make it to my Improvised Sondheim Project show because it was at like 11:00 that night and he had to be up early to promote the next day.  We parted ways.  

I do not have a picture of this meeting to share with y’all.  You will just have to believe me that we all at Lou Malnati’s pizza together.  Okay? 

So, a few months pass and the Kickstarter Campaign to Bring Back Mystery Science Theater 3000 goes up in mid-November.  Tim and I each contributed because we are long time fans of the show.  We watched it before we even knew each other.  It was one of the very few things we actually had in common when we first started dating and - you get it at this point - we freaking love this show!  Neither one of us even said, ‘Do you think Joel will remember what he said at Wizard World?’ 

We could. not. bring. our. selves. to. even. say. it.

In December 2015 we all know that when it closed, it was The Most Successful Kickstarter Campaign for TV and Film in the history of Kickstarter.  

On New Year’s Eve Day 2015, my phone rings. It is Joel Hodgson.  “Hi, Joel!” I answer.  He immediately says, “Looks like we got the money!  Are you in? Is in Tim in?” 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just looked at Tim and he could tell that all of our dreams were coming true.  I put Joel on speaker.  “Really, Joel?  Really?  YES!!!!  I thought you were just being nice to me the day I helped you at Wizard World - I didn’t know you really wanted us to write!’ I exclaimed.

He went on to say that not only did he want us to write but he wanted us to maybe be on camera but wasn’t sure of those details yet but wanted to make sure we’d be in for the next step.  Then he wished us a Happy New Year.

THEN TIM AND I EXPLODED WITH JOY!!!!

We were going to write on the show that formed us both as comedians, writers, performers - heck, as People!  We could not believe it. 

Later in January 2016, Joel called me to ask if I would be willing to play a clone of Mary Jo’s (aka Pearl Forrester) … I do not remember if he had named her yet or not but, yeah, he asked if I would be Synthia.  Because, I guess, during all of these interactions we’ve had over the years, he thought I looked a lot like Mary Jo Pehl. 

Then he asked if Tim would be willing to be more of a silent character on camera, as an Observer type of character (he hadn’t come up with those names yet, for sure, I do remember that) and do we have a friend we work with who is funny yet the exact physical opposite of Tim?  We did!  His name is Zach Thompson (the three of us had worked at ComedySportz Chicago together for years) and Joel was like, “Cool.  Do you think he’d like to be in MST?” And we asked Zach and Zach said yes and told Joel then Joel was like, “Cool.  I’ll get in touch with him.” And then our good buddy Zach was on board!

I wrote on two episodes of Season 11.  In March and April of 2016, I was writing on ‘The Loves of Hercules’ and ‘Cry Wilderness’.  I did not know which episodes they would be.  I did not really know what Synthia would be.  I did not know anything else.  I did not fully believe everything was actually happening. I did take a picture to remember because I was still in (happy) shock AND, also, this was the beginning of Keeping Big Secrets. 

In July 2016, I had some downtime from the freelance copywriting gig I had been doing and I had no shows, so I went to visit my sister in Texas so I could be with her twin daughters (my nieces) for their THIRD birthday.  One day, the four of us girls decided we were going to go to IKEA before their big party and on the way there, Tim was frantically calling and texting me.  I guess Joel was wanting to conference call us.  He did not know that I was not in Chicago with Tim but down in the heart of Texas.  Long story short - I took the conference call while sitting in a fake living room set at IKEA.  Harold Buchholz, Joel, Tim and I were all chatting it up a bit.  They wanted to see if we would be available to possibly take things on the road one day and to also talk about shoot dates in Los Angeles for the actual episodes and then Joel Hodgson asks, ‘And Rebecca, I was wondering if you would want to be the voice of Gypsy?’ 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

At this point in the call, I had made my way out to the parking lot because it was too loud inside the IKEA, too many people were interested in the couch I was sitting on in the living room set, and I knew I needed air and I just. I just could. I just could not. I just could not believe. I just could not believe that. I just could not believe that Joel. I just could not believe that Joel asked… 

It was silent on my end for a bit.  He said, “Rebecca - think about it and I’ll ge—” and I totally cut him off. 

Y E S ! ! !

“Well, you think about it and get back to me tomorrow, it’s -” 

“Joel, I don’t need to think about it.  Yes.  Are you sure?  Yes!  This is my dream come true.  No need to think.  Yes.  Yes, I will be the voice of Gypsy.” 

I do not really remember how that phone call ended but for a few minutes there, it was just Tim and I on it.  Joel and Harold must have hung up but Tim (in Chicago) and I (in Texas) were still on.  I do remember I had found a picnic table and chairs display set up out in the parking lot of IKEA because I somehow was seated when I asked Tim, “Did Joel Hodgson really ask me, Rebecca Hanson, out loud, on the phone, in front of you and Harold, to be the voice of Gypsy?” 

And Tim said, “Yes, Sweetheart.  He did.  It is Your Dream Come True.  You’re going to be The Voice of Something.  You’re going to be the voice of Gypsy.  On Mystery Science Theater 3000.” 

I went back into IKEA to find my sister and nieces eating pasta and meatballs in the cafeteria.  My almost-three-year-old-nieces were excited to dip their pasta into the red sauce.  I was excited to be the voice of Gypsy.  My sister asked if I was okay.  I told her what happened.  She instantly teared up for me.  My nieces got marinara on their cute dresses.  It was a Red (Sauce)Letter Day for us Hanson Girls. 

So - yeah.  I’ll stop here.  There is more to tell and say but I don’t know if I’ll ever properly explain or express just how thankful and grateful and honored and excited and amazed and blown-away I am by this whole magical ride.  I have been performing and writing and singing and making-things-up for a living for a long time.  I’ve met and worked with a lot of people on TV and stage; some of them were so cool and some were not.  I had reached a point, too, where I was not sure if I should keep doing all of this.  So - I share this with you from a place of hope.  I hope this can inspire you if you are in a place of uncertainty.  Or if you are in a place of security, I hope it inspires you, too.  If you’re in a place where you can make good things happen for other people, do it.  And I do not mean just in the entertainment industry but in any walk of life: Encourage Others. Encourage Yourself.  It helps keeps Us All Runnin’.  

**************************************************************************************

I will forever be thankful to + for this Cool Dude, right here: 

Joel + me at the MST3K Experiment 1101 Chicago Premiere in February 2017. 

So. Today is the anniversary of the Pulse shooting and honestly? I’m still heartbroken. I love Orlando and it’s just hard. People walk around with “Orlando United” shirts and bracelets, but some of them don’t even care about LGBTQ the rest of the time. No one’s willing to address the fact that the murderer committed mass murder because of the homophobia that had been ingrained in him, because some of them ingrain it in their children, too. The other day at the gym, I read the subtitles on the TV screen, that followed the words of a sheriff who was telling us we need to be armed to prevent more terrorism like this, and that being armed, as well as “avoidance” would keep us safe. I can’t avoid being queer. I can’t avoid your fucking guns. Your guns are what made the largest mass shooting in the United States possible, and you want to buy more. Homophobia directly caused it, yet there are residents of Orlando who still preach queer-phobia. So don’t put a filter on your profile picture and proclaim yourself an ally, don’t say that “you are Orlando,” because you’re not. Be real, be genuine, and look at what fucking caused the entire thing: guns and homophobia. Putting a filter on your picture isn’t going to help, so you better fucking vote for legislation that can eradicate the causes, like gun laws and anti-discrimination laws, or support organizations like GSA and GLSEN.