The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

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Ezra Miller in: The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

Patrick never likes to be serious… so it took me a while to get what happened. When he was a junior, Patrick started seeing Brad on the weekends in secret. I guess it was hard, too… because Brad had to get drunk every time they fooled around. Then Monday in school, Brad would say… “Man, I was so wasted I don’t remember a thing.” This went on for seven months. When they finally did it, Brad said he loved Patrick. Then he started to cry. No matter what Patrick did… Brad kept saying that his dad would kill him. And saying that he was going to hell. Patrick was eventually able to help Brad get sober. I asked Patrick if he felt sad… that he still had to keep it a secret. And he said “No,” because at least now… Brad doesn’t have to get drunk to love him.

The Zodiac Signs as The Perks of Being a Wallflower Quotes

Aries: “But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things.”

Taurus: “We didn’t talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there together. And that was enough.” 

Gemini: “There’s nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.”  

Cancer: “Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.”

Leo: “And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.“

Virgo: “It’s just that I don’t want to be somebody’s crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am. And I don’t want them to carry it around inside. I want them to show me, so I can feel it too.”

Libra:We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Scorpio: “People who try to control situations all the time are afraid that if they don’t, nothing will work out the way they want.”

Sagittarius: “Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough. And I will believe the same about you.”

Capricorn: “She wasn’t bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.” 

Aquarius: “Standing on the fringes of life… offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.”  

Pisces: “I really think that everyone should have watercolors, magnetic poetry, and a harmonica.”  

Dear Charlie,

I won’t say I’m in love

I won’t say I’m in love, because it’s silly, because it’s cliché, because it’s not true. But I miss her when we don’t talk, and I think about her when I’m idle for too long, about her crashing on my couch and drinking my coffee, about her singing along to the music she shows me. I love how her smile lights up the room and I love how she paints her lips red sometimes and I also love how she doesn’t, and I love how her mind works and I love that she didn’t let that guy kiss her last night because it would have broken my little heart (an honour)

So maybe it’s just as good a declaration as any

- K

I’m so sorry that I wasted your time because you really do mean a lot to me and I hope you have a very nice life because I really think you deserve it. I really do. I hope you do, too. Okay, then. Goodbye.
—  Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Dear Charlie,

I was raped four month ago.

It happened at the birthday party of a close friend. We were having a great time, we drank and I remember drinking one shot around 2am and not feeling good after that.
I woke up at 10 in the morning, with my underwear wrapped around my waist, a blue eye and several bruises on inner arms and tights. Started crying when I realized, felt what had happened. I know the boy who did it. You could always have a laugh with him and we’d often talk at parties.
I can’t remember, but I know. I feel it. It’s like my body has the memory stored somewhere. I’m constantly alert, have really bad back problems in situations that stress me and afraid of the dark which I never was before that.

At first, I thought I couldn’t handle it. There were just bad days where even waking up to start a new day was too much. Now, there are good days too, or at least normal ones I guess. I was always good at repressing stuff I didn’t want to deal with. That’s toxic on the long run, I know that. But it’s easier then dealing with it and sometimes that gets too hard. And I distract myself - sometimes I’ll even have fun while doing that. On bad days, I sit on my bed staring at my bright yellow wall, wondering why that would happen to me. Did I deserve this? Am I that horrible? Is it my fault because I was drunk? Why can’t I remember? Was I really that drunk? Why can he sit in that car driving like nothing ever happened? Am I a bad person because I want him to suffer even worse?


Maybe someone who reads this had to go through something similar. To those of you I’d like to say that drops of Lavender Oil on your cushion help for sleeping and that you should express your feelings somehow bc if you don’t they’ll eat you alive. For me, writing helps, my cats, nature. Also, I try to think about one thing that I am grateful for every day before I go to sleep. All of those things help me to not forget that there still is beauty in my life. I am slowly getting better I think.

I hope you are doing okay.
Love,
H