The Majors

madamecricket  asked:

zarkon, gerald robotnik, yellow diamond. what creatures do each of these characters consider to be "good babies"? *pulls out clipboard and pen*

Zarkon:

I don’t think anything is a good baby to Zarkon. not even his own kid. like Lotor could’ve been a really cute baby and Zarkon was probably just sort of like. “underwhelming. kind of useless. easily defeated in single combat.” Haggar is like “I mean I could put guns on his limbs but I think I would like him to be able to point his eyes in the same direction first.”

The sad thing is Zarkon has a bleak unhappy life at this point. When he was younger, though, I feel like lizards were good. like. young Zarkon, imagine that one gif of Samurai Jack where he walks past a tree and is like “OOH A CHAMELEON” and really happy for a few seconds.

Gerald:

I think back in the day ol’ Professor Gerald thought just about everything was real good. like. like he took military contracts because he needed to but his heart was never in it. I determinedly stand by the Biolizard was a sweet girl for most of her life and Gerald totally like. sometimes took a hose, a bucket, and a brush down there and just give her a bath and she would just be like ah, yes, brushie brushie. 

Anyone questions him, it’s like. Excuse me I just created this giant space dinosaur because I’m a genius are you questioning my methods. This is essential treatment and yes I will baby-talk at my space dinosaur as much as I please. I’m one of the greatest minds of an age. I designed this space station.”

Yellow Diamond:

She pretends to be unimpressed by all organic life but Steven introduces her to dogs and then she’s pretty excited about that. Then she sees Lion and is like “that’s nice I guess but he could be a dog” and someone shows her a tibetan mastiff and you just have YD, choking back tears: “That will do.”

Ideal Steven Universe Ending, YD gets a therapy dog, and because she is huge, no dog is actually big enough to not fit in her lap.

Champagne, at some point: “I have a very important announcement.” makes a projection. “Look at this dog.”

An entire room of slightly bewildered Homeworld scientists looks at the dog. A few of them awkwardly golf clap. Some of them are like way into it and crying and standing ovations and pounding on the table. Others are just sort of standing there with a slightly vacant expression. The people doing none of these things are just Vaguely Uncomfortable.

The dog is approved.

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