At the very beginning of the first Young Avengers series the writers were so worried about revealing that Billy and Teddy were a gay couple and it was like they were just barely cracking open the closet door to see if it was safe and then later they were just like “screw it” and threw open the closet door and like six other characters fell out

SIT THE FUCK DOWN BECAUSE I’M GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT DAVID ALLEYNE


Have you heard of him? Probably not, but I’m gonna give you fuckers a crash course on this sexy ass motherfucker real quick.

David was always pretty damn smart as a kid (like you probably when you were reading on a college level in elementary school or some shit), but when his mutation got kick started, HE GOT SMART AS HELL. AS IN HE WAS ABSORBING PEOPLE’S KNOWLEDGE RIGHT OUT OF THEIR FRIGGIN HEADS. HE GOT TO THE X INSTITUTE AND THEY GAVE HIM THE CODE NAME PRODIGY BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING BAMF.

SO, instead of being all cocky and douchey like I’m pretty sure I would be if I had just become a human search engine, HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE THAT HIS KNOWLEDGE IS LEGIT AND BECOMES A GENIUS IN HIS OWN RIGHT.

Flash forward and he’s been a member of the The New X-Men, the New Mutants, AND THE FUCKING YOUNG AVENGERS. He even got depowered by the Scarlet Witch on M-Day and still managed to be a fucking bad ass because realized that he could keep all the knowledge that he had absorbed and has a fucking SUPER BRAIN like PROFESSOR X AND THE BEAST.

Oh yeah, did I forget? HE’S OPENLY BISEXUAL. THAT’S RIGHT. EAT YOUR HEART OUT, FOLKS, AN OPENLY BISEXUAL BLACK MUTANT (he did kiss Hulking, though, scandalous)!

IN CONCLUSION, if you want a sexy, smart, bisexual, genius mutant to follow in Marvel comics, LOOK NO FURTHER BECAUSE THIS GUY IS ALL YOU NEED.

We all know Teddy uses his shapeshifting to help out people all the time. Billy gets in trouble at school? Boom. Guess who arrives at the office as his mom. Kate gets hit on at a party and is uncomfortable? Boom. Her new boyfriend is right next to her. A random kid is having a crappy day? Boom. Kid just met spiderman.